Damn Crazy love (PM harlyxjoker)

[Artemidorus]

Dr. Harleen Quinzel was respected. She worked for where she was today; a psychologist. She worked even harder to get to worl with Gotham's most ruthless criminals. She wanted to know how they ticked. Could they get better? Or had they spiraled into an abyss that no sanity could escape from? A darkness that no light cpuld reach? If she reached these low-lifes, if she made progress with this scum- well-

Harley could do anything.

The show stopping blonde walked in Arkham Asylum, standing out like a diamond amoung gravel. Her shining locks fell down in waves around her goegous swaying hips. Her blue eyes sparkled with intellect. She may be drop dead gorgous, but she was no bimbo. She was brains over her bra size.

She was led to a room, a dark room at the lowest basement floor of the asylum. Real padded walls territory. They needed three levels of clearance to get to him, and a special order waiver yo get her alone with him, but here she was.

It was Harley versus the biggest name in crime in Gotham city. Perhaps biggest in the world. He looked exactly like she had been told. Green hair, scars, downtrodden eyes that smiled like the mouth of a snake. He looked up at her and she looked at him, trying to dissect him. Trying to diagnose him.

But he was unreadable.

"Mister Joker. I am Doctor Harleen Quinzel. Would you like to talk?"

(((ooc: to apply PM me your response. This is pre Harley Quinn, back when Harley was Harleen, a well to do doctor of the mind. I'd like the story to show how joker worked his charms, got inside her head and how he lured her into the world of a crazy love life and villianry. Its gonna be hard character development for both of us and you have to be convincing. Really get under her skin. Can you do that? Let me see it in your post!)

 

[Artemidorus]

Buuummmmppp

 

[Artemidorus]

Baaaaaammmmpppp

 

[Ravenloft]

"Well, hello, ma petite belle... I would kiss your hand, but, as you can see, I am a bit... tied up... at the moment! Heh! Hehehehe... ahahahaha!" The Joker greeted his new Doctor with a sly grin and anot awful fit of merth, showing off his new 'coat'. Just as fast as he began laughing, he stopped. And stared back at her as she obviously tried to read him.

He took the moment to play a little game with her, first, he slowly opened his eyes wide, wider and wider, pushing himself back into a corner of his padded cell, whimpering like a beaten dog, making her think he was paranoid, then he hung his head to one side and fixed his gaze upon her as if he was curious, trying to figure out who she was. Finally, he squinted one eye at her, then the other, while making the opposite eye bug out. He apparently found this endlessly amusing as he melted into another fit of laughter. That is until she spoke to him. When she spoke, he stopped mid laughter, his face hidden in the shadow of the dimly lit corner of his cell.

"Mister? I like that! She's got nice manners.." He whispered to himself, then replied directly to her. "Nope! Not unless you call me mister Jay... The Joker's what I go by at the office... Doctor."

 

[Artemidorus]

"Alright, Mister Jay." she said. They had placed a chair in the room for her, but she chose to sit on the floor like he was. "I have a couple questions. First; you've been in here a long time. Do you regret any of your actions? Regret any of the lives you took? Mourn for the family of those innocents?"

She planned to start by running through his emotions. "What about that batman? You two are enemies, and as the main terror to gotham you are his worst threat. How do you feel for him? Hate? Fear?"

"What about love, Mister Jay? Have you ever loved? Do you get lonely in here? All locked up by yourself?"

She looked at him curiously, all while keeping a safe distance from him on the floor. She knew they were watching her on camera, but there was no way to get an audio feed in that dreadful padded room. The conversation was theirs and theirs alone.

 

[Ravenloft]

"That's better, my, you are a young one, aren't you? And with such good manners! No one has ever... lowered themselves down to eye level with the likes of me before... You, my dear, are... Fascinating!" He said with an admiration for her loose, more relaxed manner of engaging him. It was like her guard was down...

When she informed him that she had questions for him, he sighed and yawned, suddenly very bored. "Very well, if you must ask them, then ask away..." He replied, not at all interested in them, in fact, he seemed more interested in counting ceiling tiles at that moment. "Well, I pop in here from time to time, yes. It gives me time to think, you see, it's so comforting, being surrounded by old... Friends, you see?" He paused and leveled his eyes upon her, dangerous, hungry eyes. "Regret? And what actions are those, that I am to regret, my pretty, young, nubile, blonde... Doctor?" He leaned forward into the light, smiling for the camera in the corner.

"Oh... Them." He said with a sneering disdain in his voice. "Nope, not a whit, those sniveling fools are all better off dead, I did them a favor, ending their lives, this world would have chewed them up and spit them out anyway, if I hadn't, they were all so weak. If one lone man with a gun can end their story, in some dark back ally, then what's the point in letting them, any of them live? They are just a burden on society after all, yup, a drain on this stupid little rocks resources. It's shrinking every day you know. Can't you feel it? How hollow the core is? Knock on a rock some time, you'll hear it echo."

"M-mourn? For them? Mourn for the families?! Hahahaha! They should be dancing with me on their graves! The dead are no burden, the living are free, free like the eagles, to soar! Or, well, get shot down and stomped into paste, if they don't fly fast enough to avoid my joyful spray of bullets , that is..."

The moment she mentioned the bat he fell silent, eerily so. "Batsie?" He whispered softly, giggling to himself. "Oh no, not enemies, more... rivals I would say, for the same heart! The putrid, rotting core of Gothem! Oh, you flatter me, Miss Quinzel, 'main terror', 'greatest threat'? Careful, one might suspect you were just trying to butter me up for something.."

"Feel about him? Hate? No... Fear? Not at all. No... I admire his work, really, he does a wonderful job of making my life sooo much simpler, keeping the riff raff cleaned off the streets! So's I can focus on bigger, better, more... Explosive things! And how many of us has he inspired to oppose him now? Ten? Twenty? Why, I think he has a larger rogues gallery than even the man of steel by now! If it weren't for the bat, I wouldn't have quite so many wonderful friends, you see? So, I really must thank him... bravo, batsie, wherever you are, you've Don a magnificent job! Look at me! I'm your number one fan! Nhnhnhnhahahahaha!"

This woman, she was impressive, most would have fled his cell by now, this much crazy seemed to really unnerve people, but she was sticking in there, with the patience of a saint. "Love? Oh, I've loved, Miss Quinzel... More fully and passionately than you could ever dream in your sad, closed in little view of the world! I've loved with the fury of an erupting volcano, my kisses are like monsoons! And when I fuck... it's like a tsunami. Can you say the same? Miss Quinzel? Who's lonely? I'm in here, with you..." he gave her a wide, toothy smile.

 

[Artemidorus]

Beautiful. It was the responses not many got. Harley figured that the reason they let her in so easily was becuase of her looks. Perhaps they figured her hips and full bust could get some answers out of him. But she didn't really feel like asking the queastions they told her to ask, no. She was here on her own agenda, for her own studies and no one else.

She wrote a few things down on the clipboard. No remorse. No fear. No hatred either, which was brilliant. He veiwed the batman not as an enemy, but as a rival for the heart of the city. From the news tapes she had watched on him, he never seemed to surprised when the cloaked crusader showed up. No, he always seemd to find it kind of funny.

The way he worked his crimes was so intricate, like the weavings of a play, or a complex novella. Everything always fell into place at just the right moment. He was an artist, carving his name into gotham. She wanted to crawl inside her mind.

"No Mister Jay, I have never made love like a tsunami. But that wasn't exactly what I was asking. Have you LOVED, Mister Jay? Like you love family? Like you love a puppy or a close friend? Compassion, Mister Joker. Not sex."

 

[Ravenloft]

"No... I didn't figure you had... Shame really, a pretty little thing like you, going without... it's like you haven't really lived. Not yet, anyway..." The Joker mused, pondering the Doctors admission of a lacking love life, at least, that's how he chose to take it, anyway.

"Love, like my father did? With the back of his hand? Or the edge of a knife, glowing red hot so it would cauterize the cuts he would leave on me? Just for rolling his smokes the wrong way? No, I'm afraid not. I do play with a cat from time to time and I suppose you could call her a friend, but I wouldn't be caught with my pants down around her, if you know what I mean, she's a slick one, that one..."

"Compassion..." he said the word as if it were some alien thing to him. "Well... I would hate for something bad to happen to YOU, Miss Quinzel... Sorry, Doctor Quinzel. You really are fascinating, not at all what I expected, I must confess. Oh, but you just called me the Joker again... and not mister Jay, like i asked... for that, you must answer ME a question, or no more talksies, m'kay?"

He scooted close to her on his butt, leaning over his own knees and stretching his keck as far and as close to her as he could, close enough that she could probably feel his warm breath on her face. "I notice you don't wear a ring... you're not... single... are you... Doctor? It would be a tragedy if you were, such a fine young woman, with a brain and a body to match. Why, you must have to beat off suiters... with an awfully large stick!"

 

[Artemidorus]

She wrote down his answers, loving how successful the interview was going. The guards who let her in and the warden who okayed her visit all referred to it as either a psyche evaluation or an interrogation, but she was definitely a little star struck. What went on in that genius head? Most would call him a mad man, a monster, but he truly was remarkable.

How incredible it must be, being a villain. How freeing. There was few people Harley had met that she had liked. As a psychologist she was gifted at reading people. Telling when they were lying, when they were hiding something, when they genuinely didn't like you. That made few friends. She didn't have friends, no, and she didn't have family. All Harley had ever had was Harley. And her wits.

She cursed herself for calling him the wrong name, but agreed to answer his question. "You see, Mister Jay. Most men are intimidated by women who are smarter than them. And I am smarter than most men. And then the men that do brave my aura, smarter or otherwise, are quickly scared off by someone who can read them so easily."

 

[Ravenloft]

"I see, what a horrible cross to bare... Too smart for most, too clever for the rest. It is a quandary, I give you that. But do you really think you can read me?" He gave her a knowing look but no time to think before he suddenly launched into song!

"It's a little bit funny this feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world"

It was a spot on, intimate, meaningful rendition of on of Elton John's best. Not something one would ever think a psychopath like the joker would ever know, line for line.

 

[Artemidorus]

So strange, this man, who was one moment a cold hearted killer, the next a poetic singer. His eyes held a certain heat, a flame that burried its way into her very core. How curious- she had only just met this man, came to him as a doctor. And suddenly she felt almost and urge to follow him. The command to be his.

She could see how weaker willed than she would become a decoted soldier for him, easily. And the joker was known for his ability to work alone or to amass an army. Impressive for one considered clinically insane.

There was the question. What would be the verdict of her diagnosis? Practically all of gotham's head doctors wanted to know. What was Doctor Harleen Quinzel's examination of the Joker?

She smiled at him. That's all for today, Mister Jay. I'll see what I can do about coming to see you in a week. We'll call it a follow up appointment."

---

As she headed out, Harley handed her clipboard to the warden.

"Arkham Asylum for the derranged evaluation by doctor Harleen Quinzel.

Patient number 762: The Joker.

Diagnosis; Sane."

 

[Ravenloft]

The Joker just smiled back at her as she stood up to leave. "I look forward to your next visit, Doctor. I'd kiss your hand, but, well, still a bit tied up, you see?" He used the wall behind him to rise to his feet. He stood back in the darkest corner of his cell as he waited for her to step out and the door to be locked tight again before dashing uo to the bars and pushing his face as fat through them as it would go. "Oh, and Doctor! TTFN!" He called out to her, giggling as he shrunk back into the shadows. "TTFN..." He said again from the shadows gafawing

 

[Artemidorus]

The warden practically dropped the clipboard as the beautiful women sauntered off. The joker; sane?!

---

Harley woke up, hair tousled and sweaty. She had barely slept last night, just like every night this week. When the silence set in, that laugh pervaded her thoughts. When she closed her eyes she could see him, but not as the shriveled prisoner in the asylum, but as a free man, standing tall in a pin striped suit, with the batman at his feet.

She dresssed and showered, brushing her hair, putting on makeup to hide the bags under her eyes. Even with such little sleep, all her thoughts from the week pointed her to this day. She and the warden exchanged so many emails on her verdict, where she explained that the Joker's demeanor was a facade. That she had seen the reasonable man under the mask and that she could help him. All lies of course, but whatever got her back in.

Such a strange feeling too. Why did she so desperately need to get back in to see him?

---

Harley was right on time. The guards let her in through all the layers of protection, and Gotham's finest psychologist once again faced off with Gotham's biggest criminal.

"Mister Jay, good morning. How are you? The warden said that if you show the great progress you've been showing that I can remove your jacket." She winked. "Isn't that great."

 

[Ravenloft]

]

"Doctor! You've returned! How marvelous to see you again!" The Joker was on his feet and although he was still bound in his straight jacketc at the moment, he still found his way, awkwardly over to give Miss Quinzel a light peck on the cheek. "Better, now that you're here. I've been thinking about you... I've decided, I like you." He stepped back, giving her a wink then reacted with surprise that she had somehow convinced the warden to let him out of this bloody straight jacket.

"Thats... stupendous! However did you get the old codger to agree to that? And when, pray tell, may I expect to have this abysmal thing undone? I'm starting to itch..." He paused and looked up into Harleen's eyes with a look of admiration for her. "Will you do the honors, then, of undressing me?" He asked with the hint of sexual inuendo in his tone.

 

[Artemidorus]

"I will. But you must agree to be on your best behavior. At least for now." she returned his wink.

She moved behind him and began to unhook him as she answered his question. "It seems all of the city has their eyes on me, the famous Doctor Quinzel and her examination of the Joker. Thats what the headlines are calling it." she freed one arm and moved to free the other.

"My evaluation is based on 'curing' the worst criminals, turning them around to be model citizens, returned to the ciry as reformed men. I believe we could work to move you to lower security quarters and maybe eventually see you freed through the power of psychology."

She pulled the jacket off of him and returned to face him. "What do you say Mister Jay? How it would sting the batman to see you free, not from escape, but through the system? Not to mention he couldn't touch you until the courts could prove you a criminal again. Your slate would be clean."

 

[Ravenloft]

"Certainly, I will be a perfect gentleman... For you, my little Harlequin." He tried out the little pet name he had made up for her over the few days. Well... it had really made itself, it was like fate, or her parents were keen on saddling her with an easy to tease name.

He let her behind him, bending his ear her way with that constant grin of his. "Of course, it's as it should be, after all, you're just that good, right? If anyone can save me, make my mess of a mind whole again, it's the great Doctor Quinzel!"

"Oh... oh, that would be marvelous! I can't think of a better way to sting the bat than to be liberated by the tender care of such a sweet and gentle woman as you?" He turned and massaged his shoulder and wrists to sooth the cramps and aches of wearing that blasted thing for so long.

"A clean slate... how nice. How do you propose we begin the process of... healing my mind, Doctor?"

 

[Artemidorus]

"We could start with some apologies. Nothing says 'sane' like showing some remorse for your actions. Then some charity work. That will give us a chance to leave this musty place and see the city together. Gaining your freedom will be a long road, but if theres anyone who can do it, its me."

She smiled at him. "What type of charity work wpuld you like to do? Reading to children? Picking up trash?"

 

[Ravenloft]

"I don't know... can you work with me on what to say with them first? I'm afraid I wouldn't be very convincing without your assistance... I wasn't kidding when I said I sent them to a better place, this festering ball of worms and shit isn't meant for the weak, you know." He spoke so conversatinally, it was almost too easy to miss the madness behind his words.

"Trash? Ew, no, I'd really rather not, thank you very much." He brushed his hands along his lapels in disgust at the very notion of picking up trash.

"Charity, what a splendid idea! I could certainly read the little kiddies some of my favorite Grimm's tales! You know, the way they were originally written, with the blood and pain and death included... Perhaps there is hope for the next generation after all.

 

[Artemidorus]

Harley Quinn was determined to turn the Joker around. The history books would have her name plastered as the world reknowned image for psychiatry. She would be the Einstein of her science. The curer of madness.

"I can write things for you to say, and held you sound sincere. As for volunteer work... We'll have to brainstorm on that." letting him arpund children did NOT seem like a good idea.

She motioned to a table for them to sit at, and she took out her notebooks and pens. "I'd like for you to write down some of the biggest crimes you can remeber commiting."

 

[Ravenloft]

"Is that wise? Won't people be suspicious, hearing your words coming out of my mouth? That's hardly a cure, sounds more like a cover up to me, Doctor... aw... you're not afraid of what I might say to the kiddies, are you? I thought it was a wonderful idea, after all, all everyone else seems to do is lie to them and tell them they will be alright. It seems like telling them the truth would be much better... it's a shame, they all grow up thinking they are some special little snow flake and that God or fate or what have you is oh so concerned about them and that, in an instant, they won't be turned into a smear on some side walk somewhere in the midle of the night by some poor, pathetic drunken monster, sloshing back on a fifth of whiskey while getting his gibbly bits hosed on by some empty eyed Crack whore?!" By the time he was finished, the joker was hunched forward, seething with quiet rage.

A mere second later, he stood tall and made to fix a tie he wasn't wearing, unused to the orange of his prisoners clothes. "I don't suppose you could talk them into allowing me my old suit back, would you? These rags make me awfully itchy. I think it's the detergent." He was calm and casual once more and went to sit where she had instructed him to.

"Biggest? Hmmm.... we can't start with the fun ones?" He sighed, with a wistful look in his eyes.