Dad Jokes anyone?

[joeyjax]

In honor of Father's Day, anyone have any favorite Dad jokes that you've heard your own father tell (or you have, if you're a dad)?

Here's one my own Dad told me last week:

Dad: Did you hear the state pen upstate had a riot this week and all the prisoners burned all the toilet paper?
Me: No Dad. Do tell.
Dad: The investigators showed up, but left after just a couple minutes. They said they had nothing to go on.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

I could tell a Zelda joke, but I don't wanna tri and force it.

 

[lovecraft68]

Hear about the truck carrying viagra that got hijacked?

The police are looking for a group of hardened criminals.

 

[lovecraft68]

What did one cannibal say to the other after they finished eating a clown?

Did that taste funny to you?

 

[joeyjax]

What did one cannibal say to the other after they finished eating a clown?

Did that taste funny to you?

Okay, I actually laughed at that one.

Here's another my dad told me last week:

Dad: Did you hear a truck hauling Sudafed tipped over on the highway during rush hour?
Me: No Dad. Do tell.
Dad: Yeah, everyone was shocked it took six hours before traffic got congested.

 

[DarkWhispers2U]

Oh the memories

My dad actually had this written up and displayed in a frame on his dresser. I guess he thought it was just that good/funny:

MR Spiders
MR Not
OSAR CM EDBD Eyes
LIB MR Spiders

If you don't get it, don't feel bad. My dad showed it to quite a few people and usually had to explain how to read it so it made sense.

 

[RetroFan]

Q: What do you know about the stock market?
A: I know it has a fence around it.