D/s outside of relationship

[shadesofgrey_ce]

I was wondering if others had suggestions for this particular issue. I'm a sub but my husband is not a Dom. He has been supportive of my wanting a D to my s since it isn't something we are comfortable doing together (reasons purposefully not stated). Pursuits outside of marriage may be abnormal or secretive, fortunately I am not burdened by either. However, I am curious what y'all have done to overcome this particular obstacle. The perspective of both sides would be appreciated!

Thanks!

 

[CutieMouse]

Pursuits outside of marriage aren't all that abnormal in BDSM; there are plenty of people who are either polyamorous, non-monogamous, or have permission to explore kink outside their marriage.

Although they aren't particularly D/s oriented, The Ethical Slut and Opening Up are two pretty good books on the subject of multiple relationships, and how to address the common issues open relationships tend to face.

 

[shadesofgrey_ce]

Been poly for 7+ years, so aware of the relationship dynamics generally but D/s is unique and entirely different.

I suppose it is that there are aspects of sexuality not pursued in a marriage that are in D/s. It seems that most people I talk to have combined these. Balancing separately or how it works for others is where I am curious.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Don't know if this is useful to you, since you have been poly for years already.
I like the thread though so I'll link anyway:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=561580

 

[ecstaticsub]

I have been married for over 20 years in a vanilla marriage. I have been in my D/s relationship for almost 7 years.

I started a thread about 5 years ago when I first joined Lit about this subject.
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=521758

If you have any specific questions please feel free to ask.