CyberSex, Cheating or Not?

[jussforfun]

Ok for real Last Poll, I promise

 

[jussforfun]

Ok for real Last Poll, I promise

I'm in 2 minds, I feel guilty when I carry on a long term deal but then again its only words nothing physical oh and sometimes my cam is involved..... so on one hand I feel justified, (not gettin laid at home) but then I feel bad!!

We need someone on here to step up as the resident therapist!! any volunteers?

 

[Guest]

well..

If it prevents RL cheating, then it's not a bad thing, mayhap..

 

[jussforfun]

If it prevents RL cheating, then it's not a bad thing, mayhap..

Gotta agree

 

[Phoner]

From my perspective i am not.

Now if it is my SO...cheating beyatch!

 

[babydoll2u]

oh Lord there have been so many threads on this subject. And my answer's the same... ayep

 

[WantonWitch]

oh Lord there have been so many threads on this subject. And my answer's the same... ayep

Answer's almost the same, if you have to hide it, it's cheating. If your wife/husband/s.o knows about it and agrees then it's not.

 

[babydoll2u]

Answer's almost the same, if you have to hide it, it's cheating. If your wife/husband/s.o knows about it and agrees then it's not.

agreed

 

[DLL]

Cheating is becoming so easy to do now....so easy
in fact, that youdon't even need to leave home.People sneak down to their computers while their spouse is sleeping and engage in these wild cyber flings don't even have to meet someone at the bar anymore to fool around

These cyber-flirtations are also attracting all kinds now some people that werent necessary looking for an affair..In the past decade, lawyers have seen an increase in divorces and separations resulting from cyber-infidelity. Some clients arrive at offices with hard drives they've yanked from their husband's computer, with downloaded e-mails, and with digital photos of their spouse's paramour
and most of these on line things the relationship escalates from e-mail to telephone calls to personal contact.I think
even when no physical contact has occurred, these relationships can be "extraordinarily hurtful... Unlike physical affairs, where a spouse doesn't know what a straying partner says during an illicit encounter, e-mail leaves a record.

With a cyber-affair, you know every word that is communicated between the two persons..They say things that are extraordinarily sexual, in ways that the husband and wife do not talk. They also appear to be speaking more from the heart than married folks speak to one another ...These cyber-romances raise new questions about what constitutes infidelity.
What makes cyber-affairs deceptively easy and potentially confusing is the absence of visual cues that exist in face-to-face conversations....example: "If two people are having lunch and one says something that is possibly flirtatious, the other person can respond by raising an eyebrow, looking away, dropping their jaw, or changing the subject. All those things could mean, 'I'm not going to flirt back.' "

Even if people do flirt over lunch, ..it typically takes many hours of flirting before anything sexual is mentioned, whereas in e-mail it could be in the next five minutes.

Without social cues as a guide... people can find themselves exchanging steamy e-mails and then wondering the next morning how they could have said such things. They may write e-mail in a hurry, without considering their words.



...so Yes IMHO I would say cyber is cheating..whether its open or not a vow is just that a vow and once broken its called cheating..sugar coat it any way you like but its cheating none the less....
just my 2 cents worth

 

[Peteslaw2]

Dll

You nailed it again sweets.

 

[INeedLove]

Well said DLL!!!

Over a year and a half later, I am 99, well okay, 97% positive my ex started a cyber relationship towards the end of our marriage. It hurt me a great deal. He exhibited lots of cheating behavior plus he was getting out of bed around 3 am every night and logging onto his laptop (which he took with him to work each day!!)

When I first joined Lit, I started getting lots of PM's from lots of guys, particularly married ones. I PM'd/emailed with them and flirted a bit. I even emailed with a guy who was married. After a couple of weeks or so, I started having nightmares and felt uncomfortable in my skin. I broke off all contact with the married guys. You see, initially I thought cyber/emailing/PM'ing wasn't cheating, my subconscious proved me wrong. So, to me, whether the relationship is real or cyber, it's still a relationship and therefore cheating. (Where is that Spirituality thread? I think I just had my first confession in over 12 years, lol!!)

 

[Azuldrgon]

Answer's almost the same, if you have to hide it, it's cheating. If your wife/husband/s.o knows about it and agrees then it's not.

I agree. To say cyber is cheating is like saying chatting with someone ithout sexual innuendoes is wrong. I think as long as the spouse is ok with it, you are safe.

It's like asking if swinging is cheating or if voyeurism is. Honestly, it takes open communication to determine the rules.

 

[DLL]

You nailed it again sweets.

Thank you PL2 ....
xoxoxo

 

[DLL]

Well said DLL!!!

Over a year and a half later, I am 99, well okay, 97% positive my ex started a cyber relationship towards the end of our marriage. It hurt me a great deal. He exhibited lots of cheating behavior plus he was getting out of bed around 3 am every night and logging onto his laptop (which he took with him to work each day!!)

When I first joined Lit, I started getting lots of PM's from lots of guys, particularly married ones. I PM'd/emailed with them and flirted a bit. I even emailed with a guy who was married. After a couple of weeks or so, I started having nightmares and felt uncomfortable in my skin. I broke off all contact with the married guys. You see, initially I thought cyber/emailing/PM'ing wasn't cheating, my subconscious proved me wrong. So, to me, whether the relationship is real or cyber, it's still a relationship and therefore cheating. (Where is that Spirituality thread? I think I just had my first confession in over 12 years, lol!!)

I tend to only want to chat with married men because I found that to be safer ...for me any way...but this whole internet flirting thing is a dangerous game if not played correctly...
but any way you slice the pie its all about cheating ...in some form or another

 

[jw2801]

I'm afraid if it wasn't for cyber I'd be having an RL affair; my wife has no sexual feelings at all (not going to get into the whys & wherefores) but I'm highly sexed and she just isn't. But if she ever knew I was on here then I'd be for the chop - she has this kind of "I don't want you, but nobody else can have you" attitude. You probably can't understand without me going into great long details, so suffice to say, for me it's been a great safety valve.

 

[midwestyankee]

Cheating is in the eye of the holder. That is to say, cheating is defined by the two holders of the contract (legal or understood) that binds a relationship together. If one or both parties in the relationship believe that having cybersex with a third party is cheating, then it is.

 

[jussforfun]

Cheating is becoming so easy to do now....so easy
in fact, that youdon't even need to leave home.People sneak down to their computers while their spouse is sleeping and engage in these wild cyber flings don't even have to meet someone at the bar anymore to fool around

These cyber-flirtations are also attracting all kinds now some people that werent necessary looking for an affair..In the past decade, lawyers have seen an increase in divorces and separations resulting from cyber-infidelity. Some clients arrive at offices with hard drives they've yanked from their husband's computer, with downloaded e-mails, and with digital photos of their spouse's paramour
and most of these on line things the relationship escalates from e-mail to telephone calls to personal contact.I think
even when no physical contact has occurred, these relationships can be "extraordinarily hurtful... Unlike physical affairs, where a spouse doesn't know what a straying partner says during an illicit encounter, e-mail leaves a record.

With a cyber-affair, you know every word that is communicated between the two persons..They say things that are extraordinarily sexual, in ways that the husband and wife do not talk. They also appear to be speaking more from the heart than married folks speak to one another ...These cyber-romances raise new questions about what constitutes infidelity.
What makes cyber-affairs deceptively easy and potentially confusing is the absence of visual cues that exist in face-to-face conversations....example: "If two people are having lunch and one says something that is possibly flirtatious, the other person can respond by raising an eyebrow, looking away, dropping their jaw, or changing the subject. All those things could mean, 'I'm not going to flirt back.' "

Even if people do flirt over lunch, ..it typically takes many hours of flirting before anything sexual is mentioned, whereas in e-mail it could be in the next five minutes.

Without social cues as a guide... people can find themselves exchanging steamy e-mails and then wondering the next morning how they could have said such things. They may write e-mail in a hurry, without considering their words.



...so Yes IMHO I would say cyber is cheating..whether its open or not a vow is just that a vow and once broken its called cheating..sugar coat it any way you like but its cheating none the less....
just my 2 cents worth

Wow Darlin, thats such an insightful, well written response.... kinda makes one sit up and think things through a little more.....
But thankfully I am married, so PM me luv and like the song says!"Lets Get It Started"

Juss Jokin!

 

[pink]

I'm afraid if it wasn't for cyber I'd be having an RL affair; my wife has no sexual feelings at all (not going to get into the whys & wherefores) but I'm highly sexed and she just isn't. But if she ever knew I was on here then I'd be for the chop - she has this kind of "I don't want you, but nobody else can have you" attitude. You probably can't understand without me going into great long details, so suffice to say, for me it's been a great safety valve.

*giving a soft sexy hug to my JW*

 

[snowhugs]

cyber is only words, you are really only cheating in your head, cheating on a spouse is actually having physical contact well thats what i think

 

[jussforfun]

cyber is only words, you are really only cheating in your head, cheating on a spouse is actually having physical contact well thats what i think

Ok so most responders so far write that its cheating but the Justifiable Cheating is winning in the poll?????

 

[babydoll2u]

you have quite a few more voters than posters

 

[Reuisu]

The girl I'm in love with (she knows I love her, just doesn't share the same feelings about me) doesn't consider it cheating since, again, it's only text and she thinks it's a great way to let out sexual frustration. Of course, I've always had the philosophical debate in the back of my mind about it. Of course, the deeper question is if you're masturbating about someone else, which essentially what cybering is and what a lot of us do on Literotica, is that cheating? ^_~

Ah, unrequited love is the fun kind of love.

 

[sexslut]

uh, uh

Absolutely not. Cybersex is not remotely the same as cheating. I don't know about you but my partners here do not get ANY of my fluids...It's all over the keyboard and the chair...This activity adds an aspect to my life that only improves my relationship with my so/fb/bf. Hey! He's the one who started all this anyway...