Cyberealationships (also a rant)

[Guest]

Why are they so damned hard? When I talk to him I'm happy (he knows what to say), when we have to go I'm depressed (I miss him so much), we live in 2 different countries(Canada and U.S., so close, yet so far), and were in different time zones (we don't normally get on at the same time). WHY?!?!?!?! Why was I blessed with him and cursed by the distance?

 

[fanzee1]

Why are they so damned hard? When I talk to him I'm happy (he knows what to say), when we have to go I'm depressed (I miss him so much), we live in 2 different countries(Canada and U.S., so close, yet so far), and were in different time zones (we don't normally get on at the same time). WHY?!?!?!?! Why was I blessed with him and cursed by the distance?

i can relate. i really connected with a woman who lives in australia! friggin australia! I'm in Ohio. Hell, I wish she were in Canada. Not that i make light of your situation. The distance sucks, i tell ya. I try not to look for a why though. Not in the grand scheme of things. Just accept the fact of it and find a way move forward.

In my case, she always handled it better than i did, right from the start and all the way on through. Things were much better for me once I accepted that it was just that, a cyberelationship, and not a gateway to a real one. That, and some more attention to my real life, made the cyber relation much more smooth for me.

So that's my story. Hope you can glean something useful from it.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Cyberealationships (also a rant)

Originally posted by fanzee1
Things were much better for me once I accepted that it was just that, a cyberelationship, and not a gateway to a real one. That, and some more attention to my real life, made the cyber relation much more smooth for me.

But, It is a gateway... he wants to move to Canada (well, I think for school, but maybe also) for me...

 

[SweetCherry]

I'm Minnesota. Draco's in New Zealand. Like fanzee, I'd kill to have him in Canada. At least there'd be a better chance to get to see him. It's hard, but well worth it.

 

[Guest]

Why are they so damned hard? When I talk to him I'm happy (he knows what to say), when we have to go I'm depressed (I miss him so much), we live in 2 different countries(Canada and U.S., so close, yet so far), and were in different time zones (we don't normally get on at the same time). WHY?!?!?!?! Why was I blessed with him and cursed by the distance?

No matter what the parameters are, relationships of any kind are damn hard, especially if there are restraints keeping you away. My current roommate met her now husband on the net, and have been happily married for 5 years now.

But it took a couple of years of relating online, then meeting in person, than arranging for her to move from Kansas to Oregon. I've not personally met and fell in love with someone online, but I can certainly relate. I've been distanced from lovers for various other reasons.

Sucks when you wanna be with someone and there are too many miles between you.

Moon

 

[fanzee1]

Re: Re: Re: Cyberealationships (also a rant)

But, It is a gateway... he wants to move to Canada (well, I think for school, but maybe also) for me...

oh, well, i'm sorry. I didn't get that sense from your first post. Well, in that case, sounds like you two better have a real serious talk. SOON.

 

[fanzee1]

I'm Minnesota. Draco's in New Zealand. Like fanzee, I'd kill to have him in Canada. At least there'd be a better chance to get to see him. It's hard, but well worth it.

sweetcherry, have you seen draco? feel free to PM me if you'd rather not get into it on the board. I'd love to hear your story.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Cyberealationships (also a rant)

oh, well, i'm sorry. I didn't get that sense from your first post. Well, in that case, sounds like you two better have a real serious talk. SOON.

No, I didn't really give tha off did I? And there's another thing, we don't really have the time to have a serios talk... my house is so hectic, I have no privacy. Maybe I should make some time, eh?

 

[SweetCherry]

Fanzee, I've yet to meet Draco in person. We've known each other for 2 1/2 years now and been in an online relationship for 2 years now. I got lucky enough to meet him thru ICQ and something just clicked. My husband and I had been having troubles and in the time when Draco was merely my friend, he often helped me deal with things. When I finally realized I didn't love my husband, or rather when I dinally admtted it to myself, it was Draco who was there to help me out.

I'm now seeking a divorce from my husband, who's agreed to let me have one. I'm also looking forward to having Draco come see me sometime in the future and to becoming his wife. I love him more than life itself. I'll wait as long as it takes. He's the one person who makes me feel complete.

 

[LordOfDarkness]

Jeez. Somebody's got to make the first move and meet. Really meet.

 

[fanzee1]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Cyberealationships (also a rant)

No, I didn't really give tha off did I? And there's another thing, we don't really have the time to have a serios talk... my house is so hectic, I have no privacy. Maybe I should make some time, eh?

ah, yeah. If you really want to pursue this. Definitely.

 

[fanzee1]

and btw, stonefox,


he's a lucky guy. I have a weakness for you canadian ladies myself. In fact, there's one bouncing around the nether regions of this country right now who could probably still alter my life's course simply by showing up in town tomorrow.

 

[Guest]

and btw, stonefox,

he's a lucky guy. I have a weakness for you canadian ladies myself. In fact, there's one bouncing around the nether regions of this country right now who could probably still alter my life's course simply by showing up in town tomorrow.

Thank you, but I think I'm the lucky on to have someone like him...... and best of luck with your Canadian sweetheart. You know... there are so many of us up here, maybe you should come up for a visit.

 

[fanzee1]

Thank you, but I think I'm the lucky on to have someone like him...... and best of luck with your Canadian sweetheart. You know... there are so many of us up here, maybe you should come up for a visit.

I have visited. Many times. My last gf was from Windsor. We dated for 8 months. Sadly, it didn't work out in the end. My explanation? Windsor is a border town, too darn many Americans influencing her.

Seriously though, I do visit Ontario several times each year. I recently had a chance to visit vancouver while traveling but had to pass on it.

The woman i mentioned who is "bouncing around the nether regions" of the u.s.a. is from ontario but grew up in alberta. And, sadly for me, that bird has flown. But i'm still young so as long as I am this close to the border, i've got a shot! LOL

 

[Guest]

Sadly, it didn't work out in the end.

Seriously though, I do visit Ontario several times each year. I recently had a chance to visit vancouver while traveling but had to pass on it.

But i'm still young so as long as I am this close to the border, i've got a shot! LOL

I'm to fond of those from Windsor, My dad and step mom take me there, and they are very snobby, probly the influence.
I've never been to Vancouver, well, not since I was a little tyke, but I hear the women are gorgeous!!!
THERE YOU GO!!!! Being positive!... Aw... what am I talking about, I'm still sad.

 

[fanzee1]

LOL, thanx stonefox.


Getting back to the point of your original post...it sounds like there is hope for the two of you getting together but it will probably require a good deal of patience and it will definitely require a great deal of trust and communication.

Better find a way to get together if you want to take that step.

Good luck!

 

[Simply Me]

These type relationships are so hard to maintain, especially when you live in different countries. And the decision for one of you to relocate is not always easy. One of you will be leaving your family, friends, not to mention a job, behind. Jon and I had to deal with all of this, but luckily it has worked out fine for us both. I went and met his family and I think it helped for them to get to know the person he was leaving them for. Some say "If you want it bad enough, you will find a way to make it work". But sometimes, there just is no way to make the pieces fall together.

Good luck to you.

 

[SpiceCake]

online relationships

I have several online friendships. For the most part I just think of them as penpals and we talk about all kinds of things. They are friends and in certain ways, a couple of them are "lovers" as well.

I met a gentleman this summer and we "clicked" right from the start. This progressed rapidly and we decided to meet. He flew to meet me. We had an incredible time. We talked about marriage, how to deal with the kid situation - everything. He went home, called and said he couldn't do it. It broke my heart into a million pieces. The relationship was over and we are no longer even friends. I have learned so much from that experience.

There is something very unique and special about online relationships. The trust you build, you communicate - actually communicate with words. Right now I have a friend and we connect in a very special way. When we chat we can just get lost in our own little world. We talk about our other relationships and we talk about the relationsip we share with each other. We talk about meeting, but quite frankly, I'm afraid to do that and have told him so. I don't want to lose what I have with him, yet I would love to give him the biggest hug and tell him how wonderful he is and how he has added to my life.

God, it's great to know that others have these relationships, too!

Keep the faith!

 

[Guest]

Re: online relationships

I have several online friendships. For the most part I just think of them as penpals and we talk about all kinds of things. They are friends and in certain ways, a couple of them are "lovers" as well.

I met a gentleman this summer and we "clicked" right from the start. This progressed rapidly and we decided to meet. He flew to meet me. We had an incredible time. We talked about marriage, how to deal with the kid situation - everything. He went home, called and said he couldn't do it. It broke my heart into a million pieces. The relationship was over and we are no longer even friends. I have learned so much from that experience.

There is something very unique and special about online relationships. The trust you build, you communicate - actually communicate with words. Right now I have a friend and we connect in a very special way. When we chat we can just get lost in our own little world. We talk about our other relationships and we talk about the relationsip we share with each other. We talk about meeting, but quite frankly, I'm afraid to do that and have told him so. I don't want to lose what I have with him, yet I would love to give him the biggest hug and tell him how wonderful he is and how he has added to my life.

God, it's great to know that others have these relationships, too!

Keep the faith!

Oh, wow... um, I'm sorry... I hope something like that won't happen to us... . No offence... I you are offended. If you weren't but are now, I'm sorry. And if you weren't and still aren't I am very sorry, I'm a very appologetic person... I think that is enough rambleing...

 

[SpiceCake]

Re: Re: online relationships

Oh, wow... um, I'm sorry... I hope something like that won't happen to us... . No offence... I you are offended. If you weren't but are now, I'm sorry. And if you weren't and still aren't I am very sorry, I'm a very appologetic person... I think that is enough rambleing...

I hope that doesn't happen to anyone. Like I said, I learned so much from that experience. I was (still am) the person that I am - he couldn't deal with the distance that we had to have between us. It had nothing to do with who I am as a person. When I look back on it, there is nothing I would change except meeting so soon. We are both good people who could not deal with distance.

 

[intrigued]

StoneFox...I'm sorry you are having a hard time with it, your angst is so apparent.
Try to just enjoy it for what it is, and realize that it can change and that someday, all these moments are building and building and will take you to the moment...the moment you meet. Once that happens, every second of all that you have shared that has hung in the air between you will become the sweetest moment of fantasy and hope, made real. It will be the climax, yet also, the genesis.....of so much more.

Here is a snippet from a story I wrote about this...I hope it comforts you....

"I am blushing from desire, my chest is rising and falling quite rapidly, my hair is wild ringlets of curls all over the place, and my red lips are parted, with just the barest glimpse of my tongue visible to you. In this moment, every word, every pause and sigh, every visual, every letter, every "Oh, my God!" now hangs in the air between us......and you can take no more....you rise up and face me. You take your hands to my hips and lift me up, and in one sudden but exact move you bring me up and back down....gently yet with a passion beyond words...and....now we are as one. You slide me up, and back down..up and down again, over and over...and it is such a moment that is beyond description, it is almost surreal. A million images, thoughts and emotions swirl around inside us both and its as if should we dare breath, we might break this spell, so we just hold on and move together as though these seconds are our very last on earth.
As we begin this dance into eachothers souls, we lean in so much closer now, and at the same time, we both seek eachothers necks, and we begin to brush our lips up and down our necks, with brief kisses that seem to go right through our skin, into the heat of this desire. You pull back and find me looking down, eyes half closed. You take your hand to the tip of my chin, never stopping this constant movement of our hips that so joins us, and you raise my face up to yours. There is the briefest slowing of our hips as finally, I look into your eyes. In this second, everything we have ever felt for one another, and everything we have both held back, rages into this fiery wind, and as it catches, it takes us up inside it, and we begin to soar. There is nothing here but total joy, anticipation, and pure desire."



There is so much more to look ahead to, but to get to that place, you have to give your all to right now.

Hang in there, I wish you happiness!

 

[Guest]

Thank you. I only hope our first encounter will be as beautiful as that snipet! Wow.

 

[intrigued]

Thank you. I only hope our first encounter will be as beautiful as that snipet! Wow.

I do too, and you're welcome.

 

[Cheyenne]

Re: Re: Re: online relationships

When I look back on it, there is nothing I would change except meeting so soon. :

I'd see it the opposite way. Meeting soon and deciding whether there is a possible future is a GOOD thing. You may still have gotten the answer that "he just couldn't do it" when it came to leaving his friends and family behind. But getting that answer sooner rather than later, maybe years later, has to make it easier in the long run to move on.

 

[sexy-girl]

i wasn't even looking online for a long distance relationship ... my girlfriend that i met face to face though was from canada and me from uk ... so we had to make our relationship long distance for it to work ... and it was hard at times with time zones and distance she visited quite a few times and me to her and in the end she moved to england to be with me ... so they can work