Cyber

[Amy Sweet]

Anyone cyber?

Are you single or attached?

If so, what are your personal rules for cyber, and what are your relationship rules for it.

For example, you maybe only cyber with people you know or *don't* know or people you have talked to previously or whatever. "i never lie when I cyber" or "i never tell the truth when I cyber" This would be a personal rule.

A relationship rules is "we only cyber together" or "we cyber with whover we want and we have a 'don't ask don't tell' policy" or "we don't allow each other to cyber, and if he/she cybered I would feel terribly hurt and betrayed." or "anything goes, it's all just fantasy"

Would you/do you cyber with others from lit? (don't name names please)

When does it turn from flirting to cybering?

Do you feel comfortable or uncomfortable discussing this here at the AH?

Would you feel differently discussing it somewhere else (a little more 'anonymous')?

this is not an invitation. [unless your name is... oh never mind]

and any other aspects you'd care to discuss, that's cool too.

 

[Amy Sweet]

If you don't cyber, why not (if you'd like to share).

IS it something you don't enjoy or something your partner would not approve of? Or is there some other reason?

If you don't cyber, is there anything else about the topic that you'd like to discuss, ask or say?

Go for it.

But remember, some people might cyber, so try not to put down those who do.

 

[Liar]

When exactly did cyber become a verb?

 

[Amy Sweet]

When exactly did cyber become a verb?

not sure, but I like it

 

[English Lady]

Well Ok I'll take the bait

I never cybered until I was married actually and the first time it happened I was riding my husband *wg* ahh the joy of webTV (that was the only joy of it though *L*)


Anyhow Hubby and I are very open about cyber. We both do it. We both tell each other when we've got a new cyber partner. We dont go into details but we just tend to say that it's happening. If I were to find out that he was having cyber sex without letting me know I'd be very hurt and suspicious too.

I used to do it alot. I mean a couple of blokes at a time a lot *grins* but i've always wanted to build upto it by chatting with a person and generally getting tolike him before cybering.

Not many guys seem to want to do that now, which I think is down to the decline of chatrooms and the move to instant messaging.

I met my husband on a chat site and I loved how you could chat in a group and then send PM's and then move on to emails etc. Now if yougoin to nigh on any chat room within seconds youhave little PM boxes popping up asking you for your "A/S/L" (I HATE that)


Now as to cyber sex here at lit. Yup done it and still do it onoccassion. Look back on some of my posts at the UK personal thread over onthe playground (or in the personals section if you go right back to when I joined) and you'll find quite public cyber sex transcripts.

It doesn't happen often but it does happen and it really appeals to my exhibitionist nature.

I did play over on the SRP boards for a while too (Smiles fondly at Dr M) but a good Sexual Role Play needs alot of time and effort to get going and so many just fizzle out before they even really start.

I don't ever cyber if someone sends me a random "I love your AV wanna fuck?" kind of PM. I like to getto know someone first. There has to be some kind of like and bond there before I indulge.

Why do I do it? because I love the flirting and the thrill of getting toknow someone and the build up to the act. Sometimes the act is a disappointmentbut sometimes it is amazingly erotic.

Mostly I don't "type one handed" I like toocncerntrate on what I'm typing. I have ended up doing that once or twice and coincidently those times hubby has been watching *grins* but mostly I will have cyber sex and then it will lead to really hot sex with hubby because I'll have been worked up into an erotic frenzy already.

(I've had cyber sex with my husband and he is the best. totally.)

I have also written stories based on cyber experiences. I sometimes write stories for the guys I cyber with. It definitely helps to get my eoritc juices flowing.


So erm..did I answer it all?

 

[shereads]

Now that cyber is a verb, it's only a matter of time before it's an expletive.

 

[TheEarl]

I would never cyber when I was in a relationship. I'd personally see that as a form of cheating and I'd be devastated if my partner did it.

I have cybered and do, but only with two people, both of whom I knew well beforehand - one from Lit and one from rl. The one from Lit, it was the first time we'd both used webcams and I think she was looking to make me feel good during a bad part of my life.

The rl girl is actually one of my exes. She and I didn't do the deed itself when we were going out, but we utilised the phone once. This happened when I started reading one of my stories that I knew got her going.

Now, we're several hundred miles apart and have started cybering. I don't know how other people cyber, but ours seem to take the form of story-telling, of writing about exactly what we'd like to do ot the other and just how good that would feel. She's in a non-serious, non-monogamous relationship (I suppose 'sex-buddies' would cover it) and I'm still recovering and very very single.

I can't think I'd cyber with a complete stranger. It would be.... I guess maybe cheap is the word I'm looking for. Not to denigrate anyone who does, this is just referring to me. I think I'd feel a little degraded to share my words on a cyber one-night-stand.

Which is odd, because I have no real issues with RL one night stands.

The Earl

 

[NoJo]

I have cybered, mainly because I wanted to add it to the list of Things I Have Done.

I found it much more of a turn-on than I expected, and like my experience with cocaine (i absolutely loved it -- I thought the drug had been invented especially for me, it was so much fun), i decided not to do it again, because it can quickly become addictive and bad for you.

 

[shereads]

I found it much more of a turn-on than I expected, and like my experience with cocaine (i absolutely loved it -- I thought the drug had been invented especially for me, it was so much fun), i decided not to do it again, because it can quickly become addictive and bad for you. [/B]

"Cocaine is God's way of saying you have too much money."

~ Robin Williams

"The problem with drugs is, they're one of the few things that work just as advertised."

~ shereads (heiress, five-time winner of the Florida lottery; since 1989 living out of a shopping cart and startling change out of passersby)

 

[patricia51]

Oh heck, I'll jump in.

I enjoy cyber with the provisos that it has to be intelligent ("I eat you", for example, isn't) and I confine myself only to other females.

Why? I have a guy, I don't need any more and we still love roleplaying in real/life even after 30 years. But other females allow me to indulge my bi-side harmlessly (to me anyway).

I don't usually type one-handed either. A detailed slow roleplay on line gets me aroused for finishing off later on, often with my husband. It can be addicting indeed, but its led to several of my stories here, including my first three.

 

[MisSpelling]

Halliburton wins British Navy deal, actually.

Kellogg Brown and Root (sub-Halliburton) gets £3,5 billion project. KBR will be expected to devise a structure and allocate roles to the programme's key partners, BAE Systems, French defence group Thales and the Ministry of Defence, actually.

 

[English Lady]

subjoe makes a good point about it being addictive.

One thing hubby and I have to counter act that is the rule that if one of us is cybering and the other asks for attention then the partner takes presidence. A polite "real life has intervened" and off you tootle.

 

[impressive]

Dunno. Never done it. Don't have anything against it -- just never really felt the urge to give it a go.

One thing that has surprised me about reading the other replies is that some folks only use it as "foreplay" (of sorts) -- to be completed offline later (alone or with another). That, to me, is just flirting. I would define cyber as actually finishing the deed while online with the other person(s).

There are plenty of instances here in the AH when the flirty banter gets my motor running and results in a visit to my toy chest. I don't consider that cybering. Where's the line?

As for "rules" -- If you hide it because your partner would not approve or would be jealous, then you're deceiving your partner. I wouldn't consider it "cheating," but it is deceptive. Gettin' in to fuzzy territory, though.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Never done it. Wouldn't know how to go about it and I must admit, I would probably feel ridiculous.

Is it cheating? My partner would think so, even if I don't; so I don't do it out of respect for him.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Was it good for you?

 

[sincerely_helene]

Apple cyber rules!

 

[English Lady]

Was it good for you?

Amazing!!!!*swoon*

 

[TheEarl]

One thing that has surprised me about reading the other replies is that some folks only use it as "foreplay" (of sorts) -- to be completed offline later (alone or with another). That, to me, is just flirting. I would define cyber as actually finishing the deed while online with the other person(s).

There are plenty of instances here in the AH when the flirty banter gets my motor running and results in a visit to my toy chest. I don't consider that cybering. Where's the line?

I'd say that its only really cybering when you're actually getting off. I wouldn't consider just plain dirty talk to count as cybering. I've written a transcript thingy with Shock Chick, right here on the board. That certainly got my motor running, but I wouldn't count it as cybering, even though I used a lot of the style and rhythms that I use when I do have a cybering conversation.

The Earl

 

[TheEarl]

Apple cyber rules!

<sniggers>

The Earl

 

[Guest]

A polite "real life has intervened" and off you tootle.

That's just too sweet, El. No revelations from me though, too personal. P.

 

[rikaaim]

My wife and I had, yes "had", a difference of opinion on this. She felt it was cheating. I didn't. I did it once and told her, because I tell her everything. She was terribly hurt and felt that I had cheated on her. She almost divorced me because of it. I have to admit that I wasn't really surpised. She said before that she felt it was cheating and I did it anyway. It took about a year before we were back to where we were before the incident. It also took a couple of months before we had sex again.

 

[carsonshepherd]

My wife and I had, yes "had", a difference of opinion on this. She felt it was cheating. I didn't. I did it once and told her, because I tell her everything. She was terribly hurt and felt that I had cheated on her. She almost divorced me because of it. I have to admit that I wasn't really surpised. She said before that she felt it was cheating and I did it anyway. It took about a year before we were back to where we were before the incident. It also took a couple of months before we had sex again.

And you learned an important lesson, right young man?

 

[rikaaim]

And you learned an important lesson, right young man?

Yep. That's why I'm here at a porn site.

Honestly, this place has helped me to learn that innocent flirting is nothing to be scared of and has allowed me to control my impulse urges better. I stay here and get all hot then go jump my wife. It's a win win for both of us.

 

[Op_Cit]

Do I cyber? No.
Have I ever? er, no.
Why? Because I'm weird.

Actually I'm really weird. I've never done drugs/smoked either, never even considered trying, the thought gives me the willies, don't drink. It is the same with Cyber. All I can think is , "why in the world would anyone...?"

While I'm confessing my sins, I'll admit to a similar bafflement when considering visiting prostitutes: I'm all in favor of the profession, but wouldn't do it, single or not.

No moral/religious thing here (I'm atheist/anarchist). No danger issue (motorcyclist, pilot, scuba...)

I'm just weird.

 

[carsonshepherd]

No, you aren't. Despite my sexual preference and my political leanings (rabid liberal) I am very cautious and conservative in my personal life. I was 30 years old the first time I smoked a certain substance, last summer. I have never engaged in certain risky anonymous-type sexual activities and can't understand why people would. I've ended friendships over these issues. I've had people label me a prude and party-pooper. I'm just a cautious person, always have been.

(Also, I have an addictive personality and I try to stay away from things I might not be able to get out of easily.)