"Cyber collars are made of pixel dust, fantasies and illusions."

[FurryFury]

I think I may have been in a flippant mood when I referred to my cyber collar lol.
To be honest I have never heard of other subbies having a cyber collar! Are we just talking figuratively here.....I mean if a cyber collar is an understanding between a Dom and their sub about their commitment to their ongoing relationship and acknowledging that once they are together the sub will be collared...then I guess I have one? In that I am his already and not looking for anyone else and vice versa?

If its an 'imaginary collar' that my Master gave during 'cyber collaring ceremony'......I don't lol (though I have to say, if that works for some...go for it)

If its something else, will someone please tell me?!!

*laugh* confused? yup!

I had not honestly considered a collar that was a "cyber thought" before. I'm sure some do that as well.

Once upon a time when I used to BDSM cyber rp, I had a character, (characters are easier because it doesn't scrape so close to YOU, btw) who was collared.

Of course that was just role play. It was delicious as hell role play that kept me hot and wanting but it wasn't me. I was never under the impression that he thought he had me collared. He was incredibly emotionally mature and wonderful. Which made our on-going play possible. If I were single and lived near him or could relocate, I'd love to meet him.

But anyway . . . this role play helped me explore some of the ideas and activities that I later was able to do in RL. It also allowed me to open up sexually in myriad ways in which I was closed off.

I will always miss it. I don't regret it.

Fury

 

[WriterDom]

One of the best thread titles ever

 

[MisterSir]

Well, I'm one paragraph in and already the word "collar" is losing all meaning for me, I'm done.

 

[Etoile]

Bwahaha. A couple of days ago I gave advice saying "uh, a collaring isn't necessarily like a wedding." The article this thread references says:

To be invited to attend a D/s Formal Collaring is similar to being invited to a wedding. A gift is appropriate, attire as specified in the invitation should be followed and protocol should be observed regarding the manner in which other members of the community are addressed.

ROFL. Such cockabooty. Do people actually do that? Seriously? I mean, when straight people want to express their commitment to each other, don't they GET MARRIED? I always thought a collaring was like woo, hey, now we're master and slave, or whatever. I never in my life heard of a collaring being like a wedding. Nobody's ever talked about engraved collaring invitations in MY earshot. I always figured collarings were collarings, and weddings were weddings, full stop.

And for the record...*barf* again.

I mean, JEEZ. How proscriptive can you get? For me, kink is about THE PEOPLE INVOLVED. Not all this high mucky muck. Don't get me wrong, I have respect for Old Guard Leather and their ways of doing things, but these days I see it more about the couples. People can connect any way they want. This article is...*barf*.

 

[WriterDom]

Elements of BDSM are highly social. The whole network of Munches and other "learning and sharing" type groups. Guess speakers make regular circuits. I can see if you run with that crowd how you might want a formal event. Not me though. I'm too private and have little interest in public play. I have gone and learned a few things when I did.

 

[where]

sorry to resurrect an old thread, but I'm wondering what people here think of the the real collars? I've seen some very ornate (and expensive) ones. Does anybody actually buy these things?

 

[eastern sun]

sorry to resurrect an old thread, but I'm wondering what people here think of the the real collars? I've seen some very ornate (and expensive) ones. Does anybody actually buy these things?

I think it depends on how much money people have to spend. For instance, if you're treating the collar like a wedding ring, it may be meaningful to spend a lot of money on it.

On the other hand, whereas wedding rings are an expected expense in a marriage, collars are not. You don't have to spend a dime on one, if you don't want to.

(We spent more money on a beautiful handwoven leather crop. People spend money on things they value. )

 

[insert____here]

as a noobie with very little understanding of "the rules" or "accepted culture" i realise my opinion probably doesn't hold much weight but here goes.

a relationship is entirely dependant on the people in it. in RL or cyber, my submission is only as valid as my honesty. i could, if i chose, hide my thoughts or feelings in either world. but what would be the point? no, i don't have to deal with bad breath or periods or other details of daily living involved in physical contact... but i share as much honesty as any Rl d/s couple. my thoughts are open to Him. we share opinions about daily events, chat like normal peopl, let the other know when we've had a bad day etc. and whatever time i have that is not allocated to neccessary daily life is given to Him, just as a RL non-living together couple would do. we have discussed that as we progress, His domination of me can be entire in that He can regulate even the smallest details of my life should He so choose. i cannot imagine that even other RL couples share the d/s dynamic to that level. but nor do i think that my relationship is any more valid than theirs because of this. the only way my submission to Him could be more evolved in the future would be if we were living together in this. since alot of RL d/s relationships never progress to that level, (and i admit to twinges of jealousy for those that do), then i consider our relationship and my submission just as valid as anyone else's here.
on the collaring issue. i am mostly with evil on this. a commitment is emotional. the symbol itself is only relevant if both parties in the relationship feel the need for one. non d/s couples choose not to have formal acknowledgements of their committment. and in alot of cases, the formal commitment is a very private ceremony. it all comes down to the needs of the couple. we are people too, dominant or submissive. why should we be any different in this?

i don't think it's for anyone to judge other's behaviours or how other people express their needs. the world would be a far poorer place if everyone in it agreed and behaved the same.

edited to add - there is one thing i realise i will miss that other couples in rl d/s relationships have. phyiscal tenderness. i cannot kiss my own mouth or hold myself or have another stroke my skin with a loving hand. cyber subs get the emotional fullfillment of submission and even punishment, but none of the rewards involved in contact with our Master. i think in that respect that cyber subs do get the "sharp end of the stick" as it were. before another rl d/s person derides the cyber d/s again, perhaps they should think about this.

 

[where]

I think it depends on how much money people have to spend. For instance, if you're treating the collar like a wedding ring, it may be meaningful to spend a lot of money on it.

On the other hand, whereas wedding rings are an expected expense in a marriage, collars are not. You don't have to spend a dime on one, if you don't want to.

(We spent more money on a beautiful handwoven leather crop. People spend money on things they value. )

thanks for that.