Curious

[chris9]

Please forgive my questions should they offend you.
I started out reading stories on literotica and very quickly found out that those bdsm just do it for me Some things I just considered fantasy though, because I just couldn't imagine it. By this I'm referring mainly to "living it", to become slave of someone else who gets to decide everything for you. After reading some in the forums though, I noticed that, hey, there are actually people doing exactly this...
So now here I am trying to understand, thinking it over and over. I'm pretty sure that this is not for me, so I'm not asking for advice. I just want to know how other people live.
Thinking I just came to some points I just couldn't figure out, so I would very much appreciate some enlightenment.
How do you go about separating? As Dom/me I can just see the dismissing the sub/slave part. But if for a submissive the situation becomes unbearable, not consensual anymore, how do you tell your Dom/me? And then, if you have/are fulltime housewife (Is there a male form to housewife? ) sub, how does this go on living after the person who paid his/her bills is out of his/her life. I can see this in a marriage/divorce, where at least here there are rules that the working partner pays for the other if this other didn't have a job in the marriage but did all the chores. But in a not legally committed relationship it seems quite risky to me to rely on your ex-partner for your living after a break-up.
And then the next question. If both parts have jobs, do you do all the chores together, the one with more time does more? Or does the sub have a double-job, the one out of the house and being housewife?
And then one last question for now and I'm done. When there is an election (parliament, president, whatever), does the sub get to choose for his/herself? Or does the Dom/me pick for them?
I know that there aren't any absolute answers, but in order to understand those different from me (which is one of my goals in life) I need to get some information. So I would be very happy if you would take the time to answer my questions and add any other information that you find necessary to your relationship. I hope I'm not being imperinent, I'm fairly new to this whole posting thing, so I just didn't figure out the big no-no's yet and what is proper to ask/talk about.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I don't think you will ever get 2 answers exactly the same to the questions you ask simply because there are variations to each particular relationship/situation made to suit those involved. Many get confused by the stereotypical images created in the popular porn world, those that sell and make money. Most real life D/s relationships do not mirror every facet of those mass produced images, though some similarities might exist here and there. Ours is a Master/slave relationship.....while some people in similar relationships see the possibility of leaving or separating if any of the circumstances you mentioned arose, we personally have made a commitment that this option is unacceptable. That does not mean we are right and they are wrong or vice versa, just it works for us and is how we want the terms of the relationship to be. Reading and paticipating in the forum over time you will begin to see the differences in how each of us live.

Catalina

 

[Quint]

Howdy, Chris. I don't think you'll ever ask a question that's out of line...we're a pretty open bunch who don't mind sharing all the sordid details.

Like catalina said, every couple has their own spin on how their relationships work. You'll find many couples who would behave outside the bedroom exactly like any other people would, however they interact inside it. There are also those couples who live a full-time Master/slave relationship. Sometimes the slave works to support themselves, sometimes they depend on their Master for income. In those situations, yes it could be very difficult for the slave to adapt if the relationship were to end. That's a risk they choose to take.

I've only heard the "whose political views do you abide by?" question a few times...the answer I saw the most was "I have my own opinion and that's fine with my dominant half." In fact, you could apply this to most situations...I rarely hear of couples that try to enforce a "my submissive does not have the right to an opinion" rule. It's just too hard and implausible. However, it would be perfectly understandable if the dominant chose not to let the submissive exercise that opinion by voting. Much easier to control an action than a thought.

As for my own relationship, it's understood that my partner is 100% dominant--but that isn't always explicitly expressed. I often will take charge, order food for us, drive us, schedule our plans, and so on. I like getting things done and I do have opinions of my own. However, if at any point he were to countermand these or step in, I would accede. I may be in the mood sexually or I may not be. Often, when he sees that I'm not in the mood, he chooses to respect that. However, on several nights now he has come home when I've been asleep and has taken what he wants without regards to my own desires. This is just how we work.

I hope this answers your questions to some degree. Like cat and I said, everyone is going to give you a different flavor because no two relationships are ever identical. Have fun learning!

 

[slave C]

I am considered a Natural or True submissive. I have been married to my Master for 20 years. He is the head of the house, however, I am allowed my own views and opinions of things. I am the mistress of our home. My Master has final say in everything. Even in public I am submissive. I wear a collar and follow at his left side a couple of steps behind HIm. ( Easier for Him to open doors for me). Master decides what I wear, how I wear my hair, who I talk to or visit with. I am allowed to learn new things and build a home business. We live the 24/7 lifestyle. We have a marriage contract. If a couple isn't married they should have a special contract that outlines what each partner wishes and needs out of this relationship. We are still are learning what we are looking for and we have in this lifestyle for 3 years. We have not children so I have more time for HIm. I am not being abused, I am very familiar with abusive relationships. The BDSM life has been very fulfiling for me. And I tried to be a christian for 30 years and was depressed most of the time. There is that something special about this lifestyle that has given me a peace that I never thought I would find. It is very hard to explain. One would have to experience it for themselves. Good luck in your search. submissively slave c

 

[chris9]

A little late...

Thank you folks for explaining a bit about how it all works for you. I think I knew before that just as with every relationship there is no universal right or wrong... I got a bit confused with all the stories on Lit, being written by "real" people, sometimes even saying that it was a real experience that I just went all confused about it.
Sorry for not answering before (I would feel that's a bit rude if done to me, so I feel I need to apologize), I went on vacation right after posting and then started some new classes and it dropped to the back of my brain. And when it reappeared I just didn't know how to find the thread again until I stumbled over the "View all posts by"-option in my profile...