Curiosity on limits

[gorgeous_grl]

Under the advice of another user I'm starting my own thread on this subject. I'm curious of what some ppl may have as limits. My husband/Dom are just starting to explore and we've decided to come to with limits, rules, and rituals together. I understand its an intimate curiosity and frankly none of my business, and each relationship will have different limits, but it's a curiosity none the less. Hope I don't offend.

 

[midwestyankee]

In addition to any contributions that are made here in this thread, you might want to wander over to the BDSM Library thread and search on limits. Or just click here, because I already found the page on limits.

 

[KoPilot]

Anything and everything public. I don't even like PDAs.

PIV has become a limit because it's boring and vaguely unpleasant for me at best. I probably have some kind of pelvic floor dysfunction or neuralgia that makes this the case, but that hardly matters. I don't like it, end of.

Ganging up on me with others. 1 on 1 humiliation is great, but anything that resembles schoolyard dynamics is gross.

Sharp things that are meant to break the skin.

Being on top.

Lingerie or kinkwear that accentuates the breasts.

Really, anything "inherently" feminine.

 

[MeekMe]

Hm... Limits... For us it's not always clear cut, there are things we just automatically don't do. Soft limits we talk about periodically to see if anything has changed.

Hard limits are:

No visible/permanent marks. Of course accidents happen, so this one is kind of a 'don't do it with the intention of leaving something permanent.'

No watersports or scat.

Nothing in public that could involve anyone other than the two of us. If we ever do anything in public there are a lot more limits involved and a great amount of consideration for those that may be around us. So far, no public stuff. (¬_¬)

Never, ever involve work, friends, or family.

No drugs/alcohol for more than rough sex.

Basically, if it goes beyond our comfort for safety and privacy, we're probably not going to do it. As for rules and rituals, our relationship has changed over the years and we don't have a list of anything in particular. There's probably more, but I don't think about the things I don't want to do very often.

 

[gorgeous_grl]

Yeesh, definitely no water sports or scat. I know it's probably a bummer (no pun intended) for some on here but I'm against anything anal. To me it's not something that would seem pleasurable or sanitary. My Dom feels the same way. I'm curious of what rules some might have. We've made a few for in and out of a scene.

 

[midwestyankee]

Yeesh, definitely no water sports or scat. I know it's probably a bummer (no pun intended) for some on here but I'm against anything anal. To me it's not something that would seem pleasurable or sanitary. My Dom feels the same way. I'm curious of what rules some might have. We've made a few for in and out of a scene.

The problem with limits like "no anal because I think it's gross" is that you deny yourselves the possibility of exquisite pleasure. If an activity can easily be done safely, and is well known to cause pleasure to many others, putting a limit on it places a constrictive fence around your world. Other limits, determined largely by moral codes (i.e., no children, no permanent harm, no law-breaking, etc.), make sense for their own inherent reasons. I think it's important to remember that there was once a time in the history of human sexuality when no one had ever tried to put a penis inside a partner's mouth. Before that it was "suck cock? oh, no, that's gross."

 

[CutieMouse]

Drama; I don't do drama.

Everything else can be discussed, like adults.

 

[gorgeous_grl]

The problem with limits like "no anal because I think it's gross" is that you deny yourselves the possibility of exquisite pleasure. If an activity can easily be done safely, and is well known to cause pleasure to many others, putting a limit on it places a constrictive fence around your world. Other limits, determined largely by moral codes (i.e., no children, no permanent harm, no law-breaking, etc.), make sense for their own inherent reasons. I think it's important to remember that there was once a time in the history of human sexuality when no one had ever tried to put a penis inside a partner's mouth. Before that it was "suck cock? oh, no, that's gross."

It's not so much that I find it "gross" it's just something that doesn't flip my switch. That's just me tho. I understand it's perfectly acceptable, I wasn't trying to sound like ppl who enjoy anal are wrong. It's just their preference. I realized I might have sounded like I was condemning them, that wasn't my intention. I'm certain even if it wasn't a hard limit for me it would be for my Dom.