Cuddle Party!!!!!

she_is_my_addiction

insane drunken monkey
Joined
Sep 4, 2004
Posts
8,164
What's a Cuddle Party? you ask. It is an event for adults to get together and explore affectionate touch and communication without it becoming sexualized. At these events, we create the safe space to talk about and explore what our needs are as adults when it comes to affection, intimacy and welcomed touch. In other words, CUDDLING!

That's right, C-U-D-D-L-I-N-G.

Remember when you were six years old, and you andyour cousins all crawled into the top bunk and squealed and squirmed until your parents came in and had to quiet you all down? Or how about when you and your friends would make tents with the sofa cushions and whatever blankets mom would let you play with? Remember how you'd make the tent and then all snuggle up inside playing with Lego and dolls?

Short of making tents and trying to fit everybody atop a bunk bed, this is the feel Cuddle Parties are going for.

In today's world, many of us aren't getting our Recommended Daily Allowance of Welcomed Touch. Cuddle Parties seek to change that in a way that's conscious, healthy and nutritious. Growing up, many of us thought that a pull-out couch full of puppy-piled kids camped out in front of the TV was okay, but somewhere between ages 11 and 31 things changed. Now it's only okay for kids to do that. The only places for grown-up puppy-piles are in football and the occasional game of drunken Twister. Touch in groups only occurs in packed elevators, rush-hour subway cars or crowded movie theaters, but that kind of touch is usually accidental and not necessarily welcomed. For some of us, permitted touch only occurs when we pay for a massage or when we give the okay to get patted down by an airport security guard.


Most of us don't pick up somebody at the bar for a one-night cuddle.Our society has gotten weird about groups of people touching one another and it's taking its toll on us. Sure it's okay to touch the one you're dating or married to (that is, if you're still touching each other), but what about the single people? Many of us are wary of being labeled a slut, even if we aren't looking for sex, and even then, how healthy is it when most of us have to get drunk to give ourselves permission to get physically close to someone? Drunken, sexualized touch borders on desensitized groping. Most of us don't pick up somebody at the bar for a one-night cuddle.

We are touch-and-snuggle deprived. Our need for touch has gotten so packed down and warped and pressurized that we fear its release. These years of "cuddle oppression" have become explosive. The more pressurized the situation, the more the need to suppress it, and the cycle feeds on itself. The symptoms of this "dis-ease" can be seen in the social and corporate rules, regulations, and stigma surrounding touch. With our culture of mixed signals and double standards, the intricate sexual harassment maze, and the echoes of our Puritan predecessors still audible, the world can be a very scary and unsafe place to voice our sensual needs. And one of our primary needs as humans is to touch and be touched!


Cuddle Orgy

I know it isn't physical contact....but maybe, just maybe, we'll be on our way to getting cuddle parties started in other parts of the world...
 
she_is_my_addiction said:
P.S. I didn't write the above. It comes from: What is a Cuddle Party?

Not the same as cuddling, but I used to hang out with friends every weekend and we had a "backrub shirt." It was just a silk shirt, but whoever was wearing it received an obligatory back/shoulder rub from whomever was available. Good times . . . good times.
 
Evil Alpaca said:
Not the same as cuddling, but I used to hang out with friends every weekend and we had a "backrub shirt." It was just a silk shirt, but whoever was wearing it received an obligatory back/shoulder rub from whomever was available. Good times . . . good times.

See, I like that. The problem with the Cuddle Parties is that they're only available in New York City.

Anyone feel up to dropping an email about how to start cuddle parties NOT in New York? This is something I'd be interested in working on with someone or a few someones.
 
Evil Alpaca said:
Not the same as cuddling, but I used to hang out with friends every weekend and we had a "backrub shirt." It was just a silk shirt, but whoever was wearing it received an obligatory back/shoulder rub from whomever was available. Good times . . . good times.

Yes!! Back in my post-college days, I hung out with a group of friends that liked to get together and watch Michael Jordan and the gang work their way toward NBA championships. Somehow or other, my toes were deemed lucky (don't ask, drinking was involved), so whenever the Bulls needed a bit of extra luck to make that crucial shot, I'd find myself getting twinkle-toe rubs from whoever was sitting near me...very good times!
 
Just wanted to drop you a note to tell you to leave me out.

I like sexual touching, and I love therapeutic touching--massage and the like-- but the idea of adults rubbing their bodies up against each other for no other purpose than the sensation makes me kind of queasy.

---dr.M.
 
I'm with an actor group sometimes. They do it full time, but whenever they need a few extra heads for a project, I'm one of the ones they call. In this circle of friends, there is a constant physical closeness. Not the deliberate rubbing-up-against per se, but you almost always have a hold of the person you are talking to, and neck massages, back-to-back seats and using eachother's thighs etc. as pillows when spawled on soeones livingroom floor with a rented movie or whatever...that kind of stuff, is almost mandatory.

In this case, I think it's a nessecity, since you have to be comfortable with all kinds of situation that your body can get into later on stage. You can't be queasy about getting touched, when you are supposed to make out on stage the next day.

Sometimes we have collaborated with a group of dancers. Needless to say, they're even worse. :)

So in those cases at least, it's not for the sensation really. It's for the dequeasification of it.

#L
 
Liar said:

So in those cases at least, it's not for the sensation really. It's for the dequeasification of it.

#L

I can certainly understand that, Liar.

Long time ago in California I went with a friend to a meeting where they were discussing setting up a new urban ministry for a seminary he was attending. The first thing the leader did was have us pair off and sit back-to-back with some stranger and try to communicate by moving our backs around.

Hey, fuck that! We were there to find out about this program, not to rub up against some middle-aged strangers' backs. If you want to touch someone, go ahead and touch them and deal with the consequences. Don't make a social program out of it.

---Zoot
 
I don't know if this applies, but I had a friend who hated the fact that I had no boundry for where people should approach me. He felt that 2 feet was good enough for a person to be. It never bothered me that someone came "inside my cirlce".

I am a very touchy, very feely kind of person. I have seen people flinch when reached out to, but I continue on. I know I am not replusive, so I know it's not me that the are rejecting, just the fact that there "Circle" is being invaded.

I'd cuddle with anyone if needed. I'd hug you on an instinct - I'd kiss you just for kisses sake...
 
dr_mabeuse said:
I can certainly understand that, Liar.

Long time ago in California I went with a friend to a meeting where they were discussing setting up a new urban ministry for a seminary he was attending. The first thing the leader did was have us pair off and sit back-to-back with some stranger and try to communicate by moving our backs around.

Hey, fuck that! We were there to find out about this program, not to rub up against some middle-aged strangers' backs. If you want to touch someone, go ahead and touch them and deal with the consequences. Don't make a social program out of it.

---Zoot

If you don't like the idea of a social program, then don't participate. It's a free country, which means that we're free to make social programs out of it.

Period.
 
Honey123 said:
I'd cuddle with anyone if needed. I'd hug you on an instinct - I'd kiss you just for kisses sake...
Good to know :cool:

Actually, I think that's the thing we were doing in that group - working away the personal territory. Be it 2 feet, or more or less. It was an inconvenience to us there, so we dealt with it.

#L
 
Liar said:
Good to know :cool:

Actually, I think that's the thing we were doing in that group - working away the personal territory. Be it 2 feet, or more or less. It was an inconvenience to us there, so we dealt with it.

#L

I would think that being an actor you would have to be able to interact with all types of people. If there is a scene where you need to kiss a toad...well, you do it or if not, you can bet your paycheck your understudy will...

So many people have that "getting too close" fear. In my family, we always kiss hello and goodbye...It's a matter of feeling good..loved..comfortable.

You know the difference, tho. There is one person I know that I am actually quite afraid of having close to me. It's strange. The only person in my life that I just have this feeling that if he got close to me, he would try something not very nice. Actually he pinched my ass during a Christmas party!!! I was really annoyed and embarrassed....I felt violated.
 
Liar said:
I'm with an actor group sometimes. They do it full time, but whenever they need a few extra heads for a project, I'm one of the ones they call. In this circle of friends, there is a constant physical closeness. Not the deliberate rubbing-up-against per se, but you almost always have a hold of the person you are talking to, and neck massages, back-to-back seats and using eachother's thighs etc. as pillows when spawled on soeones livingroom floor with a rented movie or whatever...that kind of stuff, is almost mandatory.


#L

Yes, that's theater, isn't it? One of the big reasons I was a theater major for a while. I auditioned for a show in the theater department and was cast. And I fell in love with the immediate physical and emotional closeness that theater people share. I vividly remember sitting in the lounge of the arts building between classes massaging or being massaged, sitting on someone's lap, even painting someone's fingernails. The touching was almost constant. I didn't realized until later that this was not normal college student behavior; oh, how the business and nursing majors used to hate it when they had walk past our large and open PDAs.

I mention this kind of openess in my holiday story too...
"A few minutes later they were dancing around the light booth, slowly grinding into each other and coming oh so close to kissing in front of the entire theater department. Of course, that wouldn’t have been all bad; theater majors are notorious for being willing to try anything."

Additionally, I was reading an interview with actor Mark Metcalf the other day and he says, "I fell in love with acting instantly when I walked into the green room and saw all these people together, laughing and fighting and arguing one minute, and making love on the couch the next. All the vital emotions were right there out in the open. It was a world I had been craving and needing, without knowing it."

It's interesting because the need for intimacy seems to bring people to acting at least as frequently as the desire to bring words to life or hear the applause.

Anyway, if anyone wants to organize a midwest cuddle party, I'm in. It's been a long time since I was a theater major and I could use some physical contact!
 
logophile said:


Anyway, if anyone wants to organize a midwest cuddle party, I'm in. It's been a long time since I was a theater major and I could use some physical contact!

If it weren't for the fact I'll be an East Coast dweller in about four weeks, I'd be up for it! Sigh. Bad timing on my part!
 
logophile said:
Yes, that's theater, isn't it? One of the big reasons I was a theater major for a while. I auditioned for a show in the theater department and was cast. And I fell in love with the immediate physical and emotional closeness that theater people share. I vividly remember sitting in the lounge of the arts building between classes massaging or being massaged, sitting on someone's lap, even painting someone's fingernails. The touching was almost constant. I didn't realized until later that this was not normal college student behavior; oh, how the business and nursing majors used to hate it when they had walk past our large and open PDAs.

I mention this kind of openess in my holiday story too...
"A few minutes later they were dancing around the light booth, slowly grinding into each other and coming oh so close to kissing in front of the entire theater department. Of course, that wouldn’t have been all bad; theater majors are notorious for being willing to try anything."

Additionally, I was reading an interview with actor Mark Metcalf the other day and he says, "I fell in love with acting instantly when I walked into the green room and saw all these people together, laughing and fighting and arguing one minute, and making love on the couch the next. All the vital emotions were right there out in the open. It was a world I had been craving and needing, without knowing it."

It's interesting because the need for intimacy seems to bring people to acting at least as frequently as the desire to bring words to life or hear the applause.

Anyway, if anyone wants to organize a midwest cuddle party, I'm in. It's been a long time since I was a theater major and I could use some physical contact!

*gasp* I'd LOVE to do that! I don't know if you saw my note on organizing a cuddle party. I'm from the midwest, and I think it would be a wonderful idea!

PM me! :)
 
logophile said:
...And I fell in love with the immediate physical and emotional closeness that theater people share. ... I vividly remember massaging or being massaged, sitting on someone's lap, even painting someone's fingernails. The touching was almost constant.

"A few minutes later they were dancing around the light booth, slowly grinding into each other and coming oh so close to kissing in front of the entire theater department. Of course, that wouldn’t have been all bad; theater majors are notorious for being willing to try anything."

...I walked into the green room and saw all these people together, laughing and fighting and arguing one minute, and making love on the couch the next. All the vital emotions were right there out in the open. It was a world I had been craving and needing, without knowing it."


This is what happens at Republican Party gatherings, too. Except that afterwards, they get the whips out.

(Sorry for snipping your message, logophile).

Cuddles are a joy, aren't they?

I'm a hetrosexual male, but even I sometimes long for a big bastard bear of a man to give me a crunching hug, and tell me everything's gonna be alright...

-- Affirmation.
 
Affirmation said:
This is what happens at Republican Party gatherings, too. Except that afterwards, they get the whips out.

(Sorry for snipping your message, logophile).

Cuddles are a joy, aren't they?

I'm a hetrosexual male, but even I sometimes long for a big bastard bear of a man to give me a crunching hug, and tell me everything's gonna be alright...

-- Affirmation.

YOU are a man quite comfy with himself. I like that. Join the cuddles. You may want to visit my Cuddle Orgy thread (see sig line)
 
Affirmation said:
This is what happens at Republican Party gatherings, too. Except that afterwards, they get the whips out.

(Sorry for snipping your message, logophile).

-- Affirmation.

Snip away! I'm believe that brevity is soul of wit.

And I don't for one minute believe that any of that happens at Rep gatherings. Except maybe the whips. Some of their Whips are quite cute, actually...
 
logophile said:
Snip away! I'm believe that brevity is soul of wit.

And I don't for one minute believe that any of that happens at Rep gatherings. Except maybe the whips. Some of their Whips are quite cute, actually...

:cool:
 
I like the simple act of cuddling. It can be intimate without any sexual expectations.
 
Like anybody, I've had a few approaches.

Women. Interested in me.

And sometimes, interested in what's in my pants.

It's nice. We've all been there, we've all felt this ...

this zenith sensation of super-sexuality, wherein the rest of the world -- everybody, goddammit! -- can go hang, because... because SOMEBODY WANTS TO FUCK ME!...

And there have been a few moments, opportunities, a few potential-girlfriends, that I missed. You're there same: you missed them, too.

We sigh, and regret them, occassionally, usually when things RIGHT NOW are crap.

My biggest regret is about:

... A girl who simply, honestly, charmingly, asked me for a hug. A cuddle. Arms around her; a connection of warmth -- human warmth.


And i was busy, babbling on about rubbish. Shew nted a cuddle. I wanted to talk about Tarantino.

Today, if anybody (except Nazis) would ask me for a hug, I'd be glad to oblige them.

And on this board, I'd be very glad to wrap my arms around you, and tell you: "It's alright, really, it's OK. It's going to be alright."
 
Affirmation said:
Like anybody, I've had a few approaches.

Women. Interested in me.

And sometimes, interested in what's in my pants.

It's nice. We've all been there, we've all felt this ...

this zenith sensation of super-sexuality, wherein the rest of the world -- everybody, goddammit! -- can go hang, because... because SOMEBODY WANTS TO FUCK ME!...

And there have been a few moments, opportunities, a few potential-girlfriends, that I missed. You're there same: you missed them, too.

We sigh, and regret them, occassionally, usually when things RIGHT NOW are crap.

My biggest regret is about:

... A girl who simply, honestly, charmingly, asked me for a hug. A cuddle. Arms around her; a connection of warmth -- human warmth.


And i was busy, babbling on about rubbish. Shew nted a cuddle. I wanted to talk about Tarantino.

Today, if anybody (except Nazis) would ask me for a hug, I'd be glad to oblige them.

And on this board, I'd be very glad to wrap my arms around you, and tell you: "It's alright, really, it's OK. It's going to be alright."

That is very touching. :D
 
Lots of mid-westerners in here....I got the NW corner of Iowa covered.

Sometimes everyone needs a hug or a backrub or something. Back in High School I was in a summer program that was dubbed "Camp Horny"....6 weeks of 60 kids getting extra help for college classes or highschool or whatever. There wasn't 15 minutes that went by when someone wasn't getting a back rub or something....lead to a lot of really strong hands and a lot of really relaxed people.

In public I come off as a real mean-looking SOB. I don't smile unless I'm with friends and I don't go out of my way to talk with people generally. If I'm in the bar, I'm in my own little world, playing pool and drinking Jack or Gin or something....but if someone comes up and throws their arms around me they get a nice tight squeeze of a hug (except that once when it was a hug and a punch, but that was different).

Cuddle Orgy/Party/Group Backrub-Therapy session sounds cool. If there's ever one close, I may or may not be in.
 
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The_Darkness said:
Lots of mid-westerners in here....I got the NW corner of Iowa covered.

I've been working on a website trying to promote the idea of a midwest cuddle party. Slow progress for now.

NE Iowa here. Also representing Chicago.
 
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