Cuckold/voyeur scenario - ideas?

[JackNothing]

I'm planning on writing my first story for lit in the near future and figured I'd go for something I'm personally passionate about.

So far:
The story will centre on a working man and his wife, a woman whom he loves dearly. I'll begin by focusing on the relationship to show how they work as a couple and reveal that she doesn't seem to be interested in sex anymore and he has grown fairly unnattracted to her. He heads off to work... --> skip to the end --> ..his work day finishes much earlier than usual and he decides to head home. Sees an unknown car on the drive and cautiously enters, hearing strange noises. He eventually finds himself, concealed somehow, face to face with his supposedly frigid wife being fucked passionately by a mystery guy.

Now, as he watches, I'm going to use my words to express and simulate the experience of watching the sex from a hidden location, a fixed, perhaps slightly obscured angle. I want to emphasise the feeling of watching from afar, his confusion, unable to fully make out what they're saying to each other (select words and phrases reaching his ears), the sickening feeling he gets in his gut as he listens to the animal like sounds of their love-making and the repetitive passionate movements before his eyes, the the thoughts going through his head as he becomes inexplicably aroused and a new found excitement is found in his wifes attractiveness.. as well as mulling the situation over in his head, trying to answer the riddle of who the guy is, why would she cheat, does HE not turn her on?, and WHY is he so aroused...

I really want to create the moment in words in as much detail and capturing the atmosphere as best I can, as well as presenting the mental and emotional stimulation of the sensation of being cheated on.


However, it is quite a straightforward scenario. I would like suggestions on events that could take place to make it more interesting. I could imagine the couple could move locations in the house at some point, but I'm struggling with ways of keeping the main guy concealed, without it becoming too ridiculous and farcical.

Any input at all would be great.

 

[Retrieval]

Have the wife use her mobile phone to call others to join them while the lover is still there, the story could turn into a gangbang or the first lover could leave when other guy/guys arrive. That way you get some change in the story and the husband cant leave his place because theres allways somebody there.
Just an idea.

 

[Burpo]

Have the wife use her mobile phone to call others to join them while the lover is still there, the story could turn into a gangbang or the first lover could leave when other guy/guys arrive. That way you get some change in the story and the husband cant leave his place because theres allways somebody there.
Just an idea.

Yes, and one of the new guys could be his boss or his brother or his best friend or even his (or her!?) own father.

 

[JackNothing]

Have the wife use her mobile phone to call others to join them while the lover is still there, the story could turn into a gangbang or the first lover could leave when other guy/guys arrive. That way you get some change in the story and the husband cant leave his place because theres allways somebody there.
Just an idea.

I'm digging it.. I like that idea.

Yes, and one of the new guys could be his boss or his brother or his best friend or even his (or her!?) own father.

I like this idea also. I always find things get more exciting when it gets personal. Though it could take away from the mystery man element. I shall have to think about that..

 

[cuklet]

Jacknothing;

Its great you are writing a cuckold story that focuses on emotions and on the inner experience of the characters. Too many cuckold stories focus only on the physical. If you get the emotions of hte situation right, and the coflicted feelings the husband has, the sex stuff is all that much hotter.

So, I think the idea of focusing on what she and the young man are saying to each other is a good idea. What kinds of things would he hear that would tear the husband up?

Here is a game for cuckold story writers; How do you describe the physical and psychological attributes of the lover without resorting to the stereotypical "he must have been 9 inches long!". How do you convey superior stature and love making ability in a new way?

Finally, if you can follow the emotional life of the characters after the incident, you will have written a very rare cuckold story indeed. Very few cuckold stories have good endings, in my mind. They either end too quickly, after the first encounter, or they follow one or two stereotypes: the wife becoming a mindless "cum dump slut" for the friends of the first lover, or the husband being turned into a "sissy maid". Those scenarios aren't bad in themselves, its just that the characters become stereotypes, and seem to have no inner life.

Good luck! I look forward to reading your story.

 

[JackNothing]

Jacknothing;

Its great you are writing a cuckold story that focuses on emotions and on the inner experience of the characters. Too many cuckold stories focus only on the physical. If you get the emotions of hte situation right, and the coflicted feelings the husband has, the sex stuff is all that much hotter.

So, I think the idea of focusing on what she and the young man are saying to each other is a good idea. What kinds of things would he hear that would tear the husband up?

Here is a game for cuckold story writers; How do you describe the physical and psychological attributes of the lover without resorting to the stereotypical "he must have been 9 inches long!". How do you convey superior stature and love making ability in a new way?

Finally, if you can follow the emotional life of the characters after the incident, you will have written a very rare cuckold story indeed. Very few cuckold stories have good endings, in my mind. They either end too quickly, after the first encounter, or they follow one or two stereotypes: the wife becoming a mindless "cum dump slut" for the friends of the first lover, or the husband being turned into a "sissy maid". Those scenarios aren't bad in themselves, its just that the characters become stereotypes, and seem to have no inner life.

Good luck! I look forward to reading your story.

Thanks for the response and I fully support where you're coming from. I really want to avoid the extreme stereotypes and write something that is altogether a more likely and believable situation.
I'm not sure I'll continue the cuckold story too far into their lives after the initial experience (simply because chances are I will want to have got it finished by that point) but certainly I won't wrap it up to soon or in too contrived a manner. And there's always a chance of a sequel to explore the full long term effects. Though lets not get ahead of ourselves.