Cuckold: The last taboo?

[xssve]

It is pretty much the diff between erotica and porn - although my personal cuckold fantasies tend to revolve around power issues: a cheating wife confesses or is caught, and forced to become a sex slave, etc. - it has the bonus that the characters are forced to undergo psychological change and overcome their inhibitions over the course of the story - he comes to like her that way, she comes to like being that way, etc., a satisfying resolution, and it easily works for either gender if you want.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Yeah, that was my point-- the whole point of cuckolding is power issues, regardless of who ends up on top.

The point of communication is to resolve power issues. Most forms of open marriage involve mutual negotiation.

(I typoed "sissies" for "issues" just now )

 

[xssve]

Nah, I still maintain it's the exception rather than the norm, and that's from talking to people who do it - people don't just flip like that very often in real life, like BDSM or homosexuality, the idea typically occurs fairly early on, and I think that of types of kink, this probably has the least to do with power struggles, although power exchange often plays a role, particularly with the femdom version.

i.e., most guys that are into this simply enjoy watching their spouses have sex with other men, it's really not much more complicated than that, and seldom does the objectification/humiliation thing even arise, they tend to resemble really good friends more than anything - voyeurism is more common, i.e., doing in public, with strangers, etc., i.e., almost pure pure thrill/novelty seeking.

You could argue that some of these guys are acting out in a submissive role, it's just that their partner is not particularly dominant, and they have to take a proactive role and set the whole thing up in order to humiliate themselves, but again, I wouldn't say it's the most common dynamic by any stretch.

The BDSM world for instance is full of securely married women looking to get dommed while their spouses are, at best, indifferent to the whole business which seems kind of counterintuitive w/regards to the colloquial construct, but there it is.

I'm forced to speculate that complete apathy on the part of the cuckoldee is at least as common as active involvement on any level.

Maybe they're just tired of fucking, I dunno.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Again, with the lack of coercion, I call that open marriage.

 

[xssve]

We tend to focus on on the consummation of sexual activity, but I recall reading research a while back that suggested that for many people, women in particular, the anticipation of sex was more thrilling and satisfying than the sex itself - presumably why erotica appeals to women more than porn, generally speaking, whereas the converse is more generally true for men.

But, these being the generalities, there must be exceptions, and that's what we're dealing with here: i.e., the vicarious thrill of watching their spouses get fucked by other men is more exiting than participating: anticipation involves stimulation of every fibre of your being, it can almost resemble an epileptic fit, like the way teenie boppers used to scream and pass out from sheer overstimulation at rock concerts, erotolepsy.

Unlike your average sexual encounter, these things have to be planned out, orchestrated, discussed and debated - anticipated.

And, presumably, the woman derives some further gratification not just from the sex, but from the anticipation, the novelty, being the center of attention, performing if you will, to rave reviews - i.e., the fact that her spouse finds it so gratifying - I'm guessing these couples derive a lot of residual satisfaction from talking about it and fantasizing about it long afterward - they do it in various forums here all the time, these are peak experiences - how often have you ever done this even after an especially satisfying sexual experience of the one on one variety?