Crude, Bizarre and Offbeat Theories About Pop Songs (Idea Trawling)

[CyranoJ]

Hi, gang. Here's a (potentially) interesting one for the AH hivemind.

I'm presently working on a story -- maybe a Valentine's Day contest entry, maybe just a story -- which I'm basing on "Reservoir Dogs." Basically it's a gender-flipped, sexed-up and time-adjusted version with a metric tonne of fucking replacing (most of) the gun battles, death and gore. Think of the working title as "Reservoir PAWGs."

So the opening scene of course requires a rant about pop culture that can measure up in some degree to Mr. Brown's infamous "Like a Virgin" bit from the film. (In the original script this was actually supposed to come from Mr. Pink, and I wonder if I'm the only one who has kind of a Mandela Effect thing with this, because I usually remember Steve Buscemi / Mr. Pink delivering this monologue? But actually it's Quentin Tarantino / Mr. Brown.) I have a few personal contenders for songs that might fill the bill... but I'm curious to know if anyone out there has any ideas about songs that can be given creative, twisted and crude interpretations that are probably bullshit, but also kind of work.

I'm mainly throwing this out there because I think it might be kind of a fun exercise. If I use your suggestion, though, I will of course credit your contribution in one of my famously succinct and efficient disclaimers / author notes.

Most of the cast of this particular tale were born in the Nineties, so it would make sense for the song in question to come from around six to eight years ago (when they would have been coming of age), or for it to be something from their parents' music collection (which would probably be Eighties).

 

[SamScribble]

Please don't take my lack of participation as an adverse criticism of your idea, but my 'coming of age' was late '50s, early '60s. And my parents' music was from the '30s and '40s. Jeez, where did the years go?

Good luck.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

The time frame on this is hard

You have Rihanna, Katy Perry, T Swift. Not very interesting

The only thing that comes to mind for me is the weird trend to not-so-hidden kiddie porn with Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus and (I think) Justin Bieber. Creepy.

I would think Brittany Spears would be perfect (Hit Me Baby One More Time) but it's too early

 

[NicoleZ]

I may have misunderstood but I find the idea of Mad Donna singing "Poppa, don't preach / just do me again (I'm gonna keep our baby)" rather, umm...

 

[CyranoJ]

I would think Brittany Spears would be perfect (Hit Me Baby One More Time) but it's too early

Yeah, I'm kind of rethinking the time frame myself. Going back into the Nineties I guess you'd have music people listened to as kids, that would work too and there's a bit more variety. (I like the Britney suggestion!)

And thanks NicoleZ, actually Madonna is really perfect for this exercise but of course she's already the topic of the original monologue, so I'm trying to work out something different.

 

[J_R_Ashunwhy]

...
Most of the cast of this particular tale were born in the Nineties, so it would make sense for the song in question to come from around six to eight years ago (when they would have been coming of age)...

I don't listen to pop music, but the time frame you outlined saw a lot of Lady Gaga. If you were looking for someone who is Madonna-esque, to be able to rant about her music and how that music is reflective of the culture, Gaga would be a good contender.
Here is the billboards list for 2010, and Gaga appears on it multiple times:
http://www.billboard.com/charts/year-end/2010/hot-100-songs

 

[NicoleZ]

Most of the cast of this particular tale were born in the Nineties, so it would make sense for the song in question to come from around six to eight years ago (when they would have been coming of age), or for it to be something from their parents' music collection (which would probably be Eighties).

Something like this then but with rewritten lyrics? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBFbXGBCO7U

Shaved my bush
Lick my tush
Cos mine is not some hooker's face
(She eats me just divine-ly)

 

[Carnal_Flower]

I sense a theme. You could easily make the tie in to Madonna. She was getting "over the hill" in Pop Culture terms right when Britney got big. There was that kiss they had kind of passing the torch. You could make the case that that Hit Me Baby video was a next generation Like a Virgin, only younger and way more Pervy and underage pandering. I mean wtf with that Chorus. Then there was Britney with the snake. And I'm a Slave For You.

So now it's Britney hitting 35 and over the hill and a new generation of even younger and more baby faced. Creepy.

Btw I LOVE Britney. Underated pop music! She's awesome. And if you see her now it's so creepy. After her head shaving psychotic phase they got her drugged up and Botoxed so much it's frightening.

 

[legerdemer]

Hmmmm....all I can think of along those lines are NIN, Marilyn Manson, etc. Manson is a parody in and of himself. But probably not what you had in mind.

 

[J_R_Ashunwhy]

Hmmmm....all I can think of along those lines are NIN, Marilyn Manson, etc. Manson is a parody in and of himself. But probably not what you had in mind.

I had a similar idea at first, but Nine Inch Nails, I think, had their biggest impact in the early nineties, and Manson was mid to late nineties. I do like the idea of the rant being of a male musician to complete the gender swap. The start of this millennium was all about emo, so the OP could use something like My Chemical Romance. *cringes*

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UCCyoocDxBA

 

[Handley_Page]

Yeah, I'm kind of rethinking the time frame myself. Going back into the Nineties I guess you'd have music people listened to as kids, that would work too and there's a bit more variety. (I like the Britney suggestion!)

And thanks NicoleZ, actually Madonna is really perfect for this exercise but of course she's already the topic of the original monologue, so I'm trying to work out something different.

Hit me with your rhythm stick

 

[ChloeTzang]

Maybe "My Chemical Romance." I used to like them 8 years ago (you're talking my age group here). Anyhow, here's a few groups that might fit
"Miss Murder" by AFI
Thirty Seconds to Mars
Death Cab for Cutie
Panic! At the Disco
I always liked Avril Lavigne, she was great, not sure if her songs would work for what you have in mind

 

[Dream_Operator]

Here's a (very crude) Lady Gaga idea:

Mr. Brown: You guys know that Lady Gaga song?

Mr. Pink: Which one?

Mr. Brown: Poker Face. Know what it's about?

Mr. Orange: Yeah, it's about a chick that likes to play cards.

Mr. Brown: No, it's about a chick that likes to suck dicks. She's a Fellatrix -- that's her fetish, that's how she gets off.

Mr. Pink: Bullshit!

Mr. Brown: It's true -- the original name of the song wasn't Poker Face.

Mr. Green: What was it?

Mr. Brown: It was Fuck her Face, cause this chick likes it rough. She likes getting face fucked -- the rougher the better. The record company made her change the name of it.

Mr. Blue: Is that so?

Mr. Brown: Yes, and Lady Gaga isn't her real name -- it's her sex club nickname she earned because of how much she loves ga-ga-gaging on cock.

Mr. Green: Did you guys see her at the award show when she was wearing a dress made out of meat?

Mr. Pink: Yeah, it made me want to fire up the BBQ.

Mr Brown: Where was I?

Mr Black: You were telling us how much this girl loves sucking cock.

Mr. Brown: Right. She loves it, she's addicted to it, but one cock isn't enough, so she's ends going to a gloryhole, where she goes from hole to hole, dick to dick: dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.

Mr. Orange: How many dicks is that?

Mr. Green: A lot.

Mr. Pink: I still call bullshit.

Mr. Brown: Yeah? Well think about this. The part of the song where she goes Mum, Mum, Mum, Mah. What do you think that is. That's that sounds she makes when she's knob gobbling with a mouth full of man meat.

Mr. Blue: Knob gobbling?

Mr. Green: Sucking dick.

Mr. Brown: put all together and you get:

Mum, Mum, Mum, Mah.
Fa-Fa-Fa-Fuck her face, fuck her face.


Mr. Orange: He's got a point.

 

[CyranoJ]

Btw I LOVE Britney. Underated pop music! She's awesome. And if you see her now it's so creepy. After her head shaving psychotic phase they got her drugged up and Botoxed so much it's frightening.

I didn't know that about her being drugged up, that's a pity if so. I always quite liked her, too.

Thanks again for the recommendations, everyone! That run at the Lady Gaga concept is pretty sweet, Dream_Operator.

I do like the idea of gender-flipping the artist and I was able to come up with something pretty freaking ludicrous and offensive for My Chemical Romance's "Helena," so thanks J_R_Ashunwhy and ChloeTzang for that suggestion.

 

[ChloeTzang]

I do like the idea of gender-flipping the artist and I was able to come up with something pretty freaking ludicrous and offensive for My Chemical Romance's "Helena," so thanks J_R_Ashunwhy and ChloeTzang for that suggestion.

I want to read this when you're done. Love to see how you work My Chemical Romance into a story. HELENA was one of my fav's back when.

 

[SamScribble]

Hit me with your rhythm stick

I think that was mid-70s wasn't it, HP? Bloody good though.

 

[ChloeTzang]

I think that was mid-70s wasn't it, HP? Bloody good though.

Ian Drury and the Blockheads. 1978. I blame my dad for this arcane knowledge of UK pop.

 

[CyranoJ]

I want to read this when you're done. Love to see how you work My Chemical Romance into a story. HELENA was one of my fav's back when.

You'll be the first to know when it goes up.