Cross Dressing. A Writerly Question

[Boxlicker101]

I am writing a story that includes a cross dressing man but I am unsure of myself. I believe that most of them are straight but they get a sexual thrill from wearing women's clothing and sometimes from passing themselves off as women. But, is that all? If he is straight, is there also the fun of being in a place where women let their hair down, literally and figuratively?

 

[oggbashan]

I am writing a story that includes a cross dressing man but I am unsure of myself. I believe that most of them are straight but they get a sexual thrill from wearing women's clothing and sometimes from passing themselves off as women. But, is that all? If he is straight, is there also the fun of being in a place where women let their hair down, literally and figuratively?

I think that you have run too many fetishes together. There are many sub-species of crossdressers. Here are a few:

1. Only does it alone in private as part of masturbation.
2. Only does it in private with a female partner and the dressing up is a fetish without which sex is incomplete.
3. Only does in private with a female partner as an act in which he is 'forced' to wear women's clothing as an act of submission.
4. Only does 2 or 3 with a professional dominatrix.
5. Does it with others in a private club and has some exhibitionist tendencies.
6. Does it in public as an exhibitionist fetish (must be capable of producing a reasonably believable feminine appearance).
7. Does 6 on the orders of a female dom as a punishment.
8. Wears female clothing while restrained by a dom as part of the dom/sub relationship (forced feminisation).
9 Wears specific female clothing as part of a role play - schoolgirl, maid, nurse etc.
10. Wears exaggeratedly feminine clothing - prom gown, balldress.

All the above assume that the man is straight and the crossdressing is part of the sexual relationship. Some of the motivation can be submission. Some can be a deliberate shedding of a male persona and dropping supposedly masculine characteristics such as control of emotions and control of situations. Crossdressers can be dominant in their normal lives and seek to shed that dominant stance for a passive and reactive instead of proactive role. That assumes that the man thinks women are nurtured, nurturing, dependent and valued for attributes he can't display in his normal life.

Once the crossdressing interlude is over, the man can resume his normal activities as if he has taken a respite or holiday from normal existence.

Transsexuals are very different. They want to BE women. Crossdressing can be a stage on the way or as far as they want to go.

Og

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I'll add a bit to Oggs post.

Crossdressers can also be paraphilic. It may be just wearing painties or fishnets or rediculously high heels.For those, the sexula thrill is one item, but since they don't wear ID tags, you can't know.

Still others, as oggs noted, have a very skewed idea of what being "female" is. In case studies, you see this a lot in men who come from working class backgrounds. These tend to be men with a naturally unassuming or even passive temprament. It's kind of like the failure of projects in the idea of warehousing people. Thesemen have been more or less abused into being "one f the guys". They've been raised to be snooks and they just aren't comfortable with it. Dressing for them seems to be a very symbolic act. Shedding a persona they hate, but wich their upbring has fostered upon them. I suppose it qualifies as a very radical repudiation of that upbringing.

Unless you happen to know a crossdresser or two with whom you can converse, your best bet is to pick up an old abnormal psyche book. The book will probably be useless, being out of date, but it will have case study information you can probably google and that should get you into sites with updated information without having to pay college student gouging prices for one.

Best of luck

 

[gauchecritic]

And then of course there's Eddie Izzard who claims that wearing women's clothing is something which he simply finds attractive, in the same way that he may find a particular type of men's shirt attractive.

I suppose you could say that he represents the ultimate metrosexual.

 

[Unsung Muse]

And then of course there's Eddie Izzard...

Funny, Eddie Izzard was the first person to pop into my head when I saw this thread too... I've heard him describe himself as a "male lesbian", which – though used for comic effect as part of his act – actually gave me a much better understanding of the inclination.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Thought he'd said male tomboy? I'm sure he said that in his San Francisco show ...

 

[Boxlicker101]

Thought he'd said male tomboy? I'm sure he said that in his San Francisco show ...

To some people (not me) a tomboy means the same as a lesbian.

Anyhow, in the story, the man is dressed like a woman and passing as a woman and he stares at a woman who has exposed her breasts. She notices it, thinks the CD is a lesbian, and comes on very strongly, so they retire to one of the cubicles for sex. It doesn't have to be terribly realistic, just as long as it isn't ridiculous.

 

[gauchecritic]

So, in answer to your original question Box, it looks like the raison for cross-dressing are as many and varied as motive.

I think it is probably a good idea to ascribe some sort of underlying need in your character because dressing like a woman in order to pull lesbians doesn't sound all that plausible.

Then again, this is Lit.

 

[Boxlicker101]

So, in answer to your original question Box, it looks like the raison for cross-dressing are as many and varied as motive.

I think it is probably a good idea to ascribe some sort of underlying need in your character because dressing like a woman in order to pull lesbians doesn't sound all that plausible.

Then again, this is Lit.

In this story, the CD's primary reason for doing his thing is the thrill of dressing as a woman and passing. He is in a powder room when a sexy woman comes in and decides to remove her bra. She catches him ogling her and assumes he is a lesbian and makes a pass, which is successful. The woman is not really a lesbian but she enjoys all kinds of sex partners and they get it on in a cubicle. Once the woman discovers the "lesbian" is really a man, she is very happy about that because she prefers men.

 

[Guest]

I have actually thought this through after I read it.

I don't necessarily think that crossdressing is about the sexual aspect.... or at least not entirely. I think it may very well be something like the shedding of one persona.... or taking a position that would be allowed to be more soft, less demanding, less painful....

When I asked a friend about it he said that he believed that cross dressers were gay. I don't believe so.... in the world of new words... metrosexual maybe but not gay.

 

[Boxlicker101]

I have actually thought this through after I read it.

I don't necessarily think that crossdressing is about the sexual aspect.... or at least not entirely. I think it may very well be something like the shedding of one persona.... or taking a position that would be allowed to be more soft, less demanding, less painful....

When I asked a friend about it he said that he believed that cross dressers were gay. I don't believe so.... in the world of new words... metrosexual maybe but not gay.

Hi, Lizzie. Everything I write is about the sexual aspect.

You might have a point there, though. I might have him tell her how he gets a sexual thrill from passing as a woman or I might have him tell her how relaxed he feels and good about himself. I'm also not sure just what the sex will be. She might suck him off but I am leaning now to having her haul down his panties and hoist up his skirt and climb on top while he is sitting on the toilet seat. That would fit her extablished character better. Anyhow, it sounds like fun.

 

[Guest]

Hi, Lizzie. Everything I write is about the sexual aspect.

You might have a point there, though. I might have him tell her how he gets a sexual thrill from passing as a woman or I might have him tell her how relaxed he feels and good about himself. I'm also not sure just what the sex will be. She might suck him off but I am leaning now to having her haul down his panties and hoist up his skirt and climb on top while he is sitting on the toilet seat. That would fit her extablished character better. Anyhow, it sounds like fun.

maybe she is alittle sub like wanting to be dommy for the night... and he is alittle dommy wanting to give up control

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Hi, Lizzie. Everything I write is about the sexual aspect.

You might have a point there, though. I might have him tell her how he gets a sexual thrill from passing as a woman or I might have him tell her how relaxed he feels and good about himself. I'm also not sure just what the sex will be. She might suck him off but I am leaning now to having her haul down his panties and hoist up his skirt and climb on top while he is sitting on the toilet seat. That would fit her extablished character better. Anyhow, it sounds like fun.

I know you tend to write smut, with no redeeming qualities Box

From my point of view, you need to establish his motive well before he hooks up. With a nebulous motive, he's going to be a very eak character. Not that he can't be strong in other ways, but if you're countin gon the sex as the main thrust (so to speak) people ned to know why he's out dressed to the nines well before hand.

Whatever his motive, I think you need to establish it very early on.

 

[Boxlicker101]

I know you tend to write smut, with no redeeming qualities Box

From my point of view, you need to establish his motive well before he hooks up. With a nebulous motive, he's going to be a very weak character. Not that he can't be strong in other ways, but if you're counting on the sex as the main thrust (so to speak) people need to know why he's out dressed to the nines well before hand.

Whatever his motive, I think you need to establish it very early on.

Hi, Colly. Actually, the woman is the protag. and she notices somebody ogling her in the powder room. She is very sexually aggressive and open, although more straight than gay, and makes a pass at the "woman" who is ogling her, thinking him a lesbian. They go into one of the cubicles and the CD eats her out and when she wants to reciprocate, she realizes he is a man, which makes her very happy, and they get it on.

She is a regular character of mine, and this will be her sixth story, and he probably will not be in another story. I can flesh her out a little more but for him, I will have to wait and have him explain himself near the end of the story.

As for his motivation, she is a very sexy woman, and he wants to eat her out for that reason, and thinks he can keep his secret. I will need to work in his reason for being a CD, and that's what this thread is about.

 

[Unsung Muse]

Thought he'd said male tomboy? I'm sure he said that in his San Francisco show ...

He's been known to use both:
Butch Phase Interview

These may be of some interest to Mr. Licker, as well...
Eddie's First Frock
Eddie on Being a Man
Gender Terrorism
Real Truth

 

[Boxlicker101]

Thanks for the input, people. The story is now on the back burner until after I have finished some stories I think of as being more urgent, such as my Winter Holiday entry.

 

[3113]

The guy in the skirt

I don't know if this will be of any help to your particular story, but I'll toss it out all the same: skirt-wearing guys. The "kilt" look is the way that these guys now maintain their guy-ness, though I've found most of them to be far from shy or self-conscious. They've no doubts about their masculinity and usually wear the skirt openly and voluntarily. Most of these men will argue that they just like the freedom that skirts give them, that skirts are comfortable, and both internationally and historically, something men have always worn. And they're absolutely right on that score.

A good many of these guys originally wore their sisters and wives flowing skirts (never tight, never mini skirts), prior to the sale of said kilts, because those were the skirts avalible to them.

That said, there is great eroticism in flowing skirts and, yes, kilts--they can be peeked under, reached under, and one can be fully exposed under a skirt. I don't doubt these men when they tell me they wear the skirts not to cross-dress but because of issues of style and comfort; but I do wonder if that comfort also involves some erotic sensations, like the free flow or air, etc.

I'm not suggesting you change your original idea...but a story about "the guy in the skirt" might be interesting to write up some other time.