Crazy Muthas

NOIRTRASH

Literotica Guru
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Aug 22, 2015
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I know squat about lesbians tho I know many and had many for clients and bosses.

I don't read lesbian stories, as a rule, but I'm reading a few at the moment.

What I read seems different from what I experience IRL. That is, modern lesbian tales seem to depict Heaven when real lesbian life is the suburbs of Hell. The lesbians I know aren't happy campers. Theyre cotton candy wrappers blown about the carnival grounds. Some real crazy muthas.

I just read an old James Ellroy novel featuring some lesbians. A serial killer is stalking one of the girls, and stumbles over her lesbian ways by accident. That is, the serial killer collects masses of info about his victims before he destroys them. What he has for the lesbian isn't happy-gram stuff. His mission is to end human suffering.

So tell me about lesbians. I wanna add a lesbian character to my noire stable.
 
So tell me about lesbians. I wanna add a lesbian character to my noire stable.


I had friend who was like a sister in closeness (not actions) she was a lesbian at heart, married ... we'd go out, drink ... shit sit on my lap, tease me, but we'd never go further than that ... we'd play a game: who could get those most numbers (of women) in a night ... she'll usually beat me.

She liked to drink, went to Berkeley where I would call her and she'd let me ramble for hours (or minutes, in my foggy brain, time had no meaning) ...

very kind ... very intelligent ...

she only thought about sex. I thought I was bad, but everything out of her mouth when she was not having to focus was, 'I wonder what it would be like to fuck that person.' ... she sent me a picture once when she was in SF of a cock as long and thick as wine bottle (almost as) and she said, 'My girlfriend made me take this, I cried, but I can't wait to do it again.'

So ... from the only thin I know about my lesbian friend was that on the outside, they were normal, on the inside, they were sexually adventurous to the point of needing to fill something (not talking pussy) ... they just needed to feel something.

Sex was a big part of her life, it was the 25% she lived for ... the other 75% she was normal.
 
So tell me about lesbians. I wanna add a lesbian character to my noire stable.

Make her clever, in today's world everyone wants to be a lesbian, tranny or bisexual ... the truth is, they had to hide who they were until they were comfortable.

You're old ... old school ... make her a short haired chameleon who can read both men and women, who likes to flirt, but gives nothing away. ... Aloof.
 
Make her clever, in today's world everyone wants to be a lesbian, tranny or bisexual ... the truth is, they had to hide who they were until they were comfortable.

You're old ... old school ... make her a short haired chameleon who can read both men and women, who likes to flirt, but gives nothing away. ... Aloof.

I live beside two lesbians. I know them painfully well. One has been a neighbor for 35 years.

I'm a retired psychologist with many lesbian clients and bosses. One of my bosses dated one of the neighbors for a short period of time. I was stunned Mary Beth went out with Psycho Squirrel at all.

I invented old. But I'm on solid ground when I say humanity comes in 3 basic flavors: Vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. A few mix raisins and Rice Krispies in with their ice cream, but maturity stops that sort of thing. All of us are drunks and thugs when we're twenty....and skinny and have hair.

Thank you for your comments.
 
I live beside two lesbians. I know them painfully well. One has been a neighbor for 35 years.

I'm a retired psychologist with many lesbian clients and bosses. One of my bosses dated one of the neighbors for a short period of time. I was stunned Mary Beth went out with Psycho Squirrel at all.

I invented old. But I'm on solid ground when I say humanity comes in 3 basic flavors: Vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry. A few mix raisins and Rice Krispies in with their ice cream, but maturity stops that sort of thing. All of us are drunks and thugs when we're twenty....and skinny and have hair.

Thank you for your comments.

I don't know if you invented old, but you are old (old enough that it doesn't matter) ... I'm older, but my maturity level was stunted by my alcohol and lack of education (I never persued one) ... I guess a good lesbian has to think on her feet, if it's noir you write, then she has to be a cut above, an interesting distraction you care about, but never the focus.

You were a psychologist? Not for the state I hope. Electric chair: Now serving number 100 for the day? (ha, they deserve it).
 
I don't know if you invented old, but you are old (old enough that it doesn't matter) ... I'm older, but my maturity level was stunted by my alcohol and lack of education (I never persued one) ... I guess a good lesbian has to think on her feet, if it's noir you write, then she has to be a cut above, an interesting distraction you care about, but never the focus.

You were a psychologist? Not for the state I hope. Electric chair: Now serving number 100 for the day? (ha, they deserve it).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oadzppD9Rv8

This old vid rubs what I mean about people. The African is connected to the jazz and the jazz is connected to the classical, it don't flow the other way. Lesbians may simply be antithetical...flowing the other way.
 
Hitler was a Nazi. Plenty of Germans carried the membership card and said Seig Heil but weren't really Nazis.
 
I had a lot of lesbian friends when I lived elsewhere and they were like everybody else. So I say make your character as you want and they just happen to be gay.
 
I had a lot of lesbian friends when I lived elsewhere and they were like everybody else. So I say make your character as you want and they just happen to be gay.


But they aint like everyone else. When I sit in my chair out on the driveway and see what visits next door it aint Miss America and Superman. It aint the Bradys. Its fuggin scary.
 
But they aint like everyone else. When I sit in my chair out on the driveway and see what visits next door it aint Miss America and Superman. It aint the Bradys. Its fuggin scary.

That may have more to do with the neighborhood than who lives next door. ;)
 
That may have more to do with the neighborhood than who lives next door. ;)

I live in a decent neighborhood, I built it 35 years ago. 3 new schools adjoin it, plenty of commercial centers, two library branches, a hospital, a VA outpatient center. Lesbians are shithouse rats.
 
But they aint like everyone else. When I sit in my chair out on the driveway and see what visits next door it aint Miss America and Superman. It aint the Bradys. Its fuggin scary.

This may be the case with your neighbors, but many neighbors I've had that were straight and were not Miss America or Superman either. Nor were they the Bradys. They, too, were fuggin scary. It isn't something particular to sexual preference, it's just human beings.
 
This may be the case with your neighbors, but many neighbors I've had that were straight and were not Miss America or Superman either. Nor were they the Bradys. They, too, were fuggin scary. It isn't something particular to sexual preference, it's just human beings.

Lesbians are like watching PEEWEE HERMAN on fast forward.
 
I live in a decent neighborhood, I built it 35 years ago. 3 new schools adjoin it, plenty of commercial centers, two library branches, a hospital, a VA outpatient center. Lesbians are shithouse rats.

I've seen your driveway and the street you live on. :D

You should be more careful of the pictures you post of your front yard garden.

Neighbors and neighborhoods have nothing to do with how people look. Sexual orientation is the same way. Most of the time it is in the eye of the beholder. Just out of curiosity, how do you know the neighbor is a lesbian? Did she tell you? Was she having sex on the front lawn? Does she have a lot of female company?

Maybe you live next door to the wrong lesbian. :D
 
OK Heres the plan.

I'm gonna make my characters 24 years old, drunks, and histrionic like most younger women.
 
I have lesbian neighbors too. They seem pretty normal and their parties are HUGE. They have a lot of friends.

On the other hand, a friend of mine was sitting at the hospital with a long-time lesbian couple. One was there for a cancer diagnosis and her partner was waiting. The doctor announced that the woman had an advanced cancer that would be terminal and her partner started banging her head on the wall and crying "How could you do this to me!"

It was the most selfish and insensitive reaction I can imagine. The woman actually lived for only a few more months and she had to go out with the accusation that she had somehow done that intentionally.
 
Hemingway said the trick is to use the correct pronouns, to get the sexes right.

Heh heh, I don't think Hemingway's writing advice has any bearing on the fact that any human being has the capacity to be a low life. He or She or Them or They.
 
But they aint like everyone else. When I sit in my chair out on the driveway and see what visits next door it aint Miss America and Superman. It aint the Bradys. Its fuggin scary.

Yours may not be, mine were.
 
I have lesbian neighbors too. They seem pretty normal and their parties are HUGE. They have a lot of friends.

On the other hand, a friend of mine was sitting at the hospital with a long-time lesbian couple. One was there for a cancer diagnosis and her partner was waiting. The doctor announced that the woman had an advanced cancer that would be terminal and her partner started banging her head on the wall and crying "How could you do this to me!"

It was the most selfish and insensitive reaction I can imagine. The woman actually lived for only a few more months and she had to go out with the accusation that she had somehow done that intentionally.

Lesbians give a whole different meaning to 'relationship.'
 
OK Heres the plan.

I'm gonna make my characters 24 years old, drunks, and histrionic like most younger women.

I write women in that age group routinely. I'm told I get them right.

Histrionic is 15. By 24 they've worked out that histrionics are a bad mating strategy. They've long since stopped telling guys every thought. (Males are generally thankful). They've already mastered the art of holding hidden a seething internal emotional world they don't tell males about; the worst of them then blame the males for not seeing what's going on in there. It's only histronics-time if the male she's with is genuinely stupid, but at that age lots of guys are at least sometimes, so one overly dramatic scene is usually allowable. The critical thing about writing it is that they are deadly serious and genuinely think the issue is just about life and death important. No one seems to have a sense of proportion until 50 or so, but nothing beats a 20 year old girl for not being able to tell what's still going to be important tomorrow. (Guys that age have the opposite flaw: nothing is important, even when it is.)

Drunk varies. By the time college is over they've stopped being that stupid, most of them, and the ones who keep it up are heading for serious trouble. Plenty of girls that age have never been drunk, or did it once and decided that was enough. If a girl in my story gets drunk, it's a sign of serious emotional distress, because most readers that age recognize that in women, drinking means either internal pain or slut on a rampage - it's never for fun. Florida may vary; I spent a few months there recently and I think your women just drink more than typical. I saw a lot more sloppy drunk than I am used to in the northeast.

20's is my favorite age group to write about because they've got just enough wisdom to make informed decisions, a whole lot of enthusiasm (and sex drive), and can still make outrageously wonderful mistakes to drive plot. Guys in that range tend to be assholes, which makes for every woman readers's favorite thing, a story about an asshole guy who discovers his heart of gold and turns out ok.

I don't know any lesbians in that age range, if you're still going there. They're all straight or bi. I know they exist, I just don't have any as friends or get contacted by them. I wouldn't try to write a 24 year old lesbian without knowing one well and asking her a lot of stupid questions.
 
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