couple seducing couple idea

[bornloser79]

Hi all, I'm planning on writing a story and would like some feedback on the idea before I go beyond the planning stage.

The story involves forced seduction, interracial sex, group sex, public sex, and both straight and gay sex. So if any of those issues bother you... why are you coming to this site?

The premise is a young professional female, early twenties, has moved into a new apartment next to a bisexual couple, both of whom are men. The couple has been trying to seduce her, but it hasn't been working as far as we know. She also has a male friend who's trying to get in her pants. His attempts don't work because he's just socially backwards.

The story is written from the male friend's point of view and is split into multiple chapters. The first half takes place at the woman's apartment where she is tutoring her friend who is apparently a professional college senior. A noise complaint prompts the woman to confront her neighbors while her friend waits for her return. After some time a more disturbing series of noises prompts the friend to investigate what's going on. (Hint: They ain't playin' Pictionary.) Dejected, the friend leaves. And so ends chapter 1...

So, how is it so far? Does this look like it could be an interesting story, or am I just jerking off?

 

[sirhugs]

Hi all, I'm planning on writing a story and would like some feedback on the idea before I go beyond the planning stage.

The story involves forced seduction, interracial sex, group sex, public sex, and both straight and gay sex. So if any of those issues bother you... why are you coming to this site?

The premise is a young professional female, early twenties, has moved into a new apartment next to a bisexual couple, both of whom are men. The couple has been trying to seduce her, but it hasn't been working as far as we know. She also has a male friend who's trying to get in her pants. His attempts don't work because he's just socially backwards.

The story is written from the male friend's point of view and is split into multiple chapters. The first half takes place at the woman's apartment where she is tutoring her friend who is apparently a professional college senior. A noise complaint prompts the woman to confront her neighbors while her friend waits for her return. After some time a more disturbing series of noises prompts the friend to investigate what's going on. (Hint: They ain't playin' Pictionary.) Dejected, the friend leaves. And so ends chapter 1...

So, how is it so far? Does this look like it could be an interesting story, or am I just jerking off?

when I read the thread title, I expected a more predictable neighbour wife & hubby introducing neighbours to swinging/swapping. This variation has promise, but will require extreme talent to maintain a consistent POV and deal with both charater motivation and avoiding plot holes.

Right away I was wondering how you handle the bi couple having had trouble seducing her when she is jumping into sex with them in ch 1 . seems like you'll need a big back story digression later, in which case, how do you get this into ch 1? Perhaps while gal & pal are talking, annoyed by the noise, she tells him about the obvious efforts? Leaving him turned on, though she's oblivious to it?

 

[bornloser79]

Right away I was wondering how you handle the bi couple having had trouble seducing her when she is jumping into sex with them in ch 1 . seems like you'll need a big back story digression later, in which case, how do you get this into ch 1? Perhaps while gal & pal are talking, annoyed by the noise, she tells him about the obvious efforts? Leaving him turned on, though she's oblivious to it?

That's the idea. One chapter will be dedicated to her side of the story, and her telling him some of what happened figures heavily into chapter 2. I just thought the first chapter would work better if the audience knew as much, or as little in this case, as the main character.

 

[sirhugs]

That's the idea. One chapter will be dedicated to her side of the story, and her telling him some of what happened figures heavily into chapter 2. I just thought the first chapter would work better if the audience knew as much, or as little in this case, as the main character.

but you need to get buy in with hot dirty sex within the first couple thousand words or 3/4 of the readers hit the "Back" button.

 

[bornloser79]

I did not know that; thanks for the information. It shouldn't be too much trouble to speed things up. The story was getting a little too long anyway.