Couple looking to explore - need advice

[PolyCurious]

My partner and I are in our 40s and divorced. We have been exploring the idea of having an open, non-monogamous relationship. Trying not to get hung up on labels even though my user name is PolyCurious.

We have done some reading like the Ethical Slut and were members in a few groups on Facebook that were more polyamorous leaning. We live in Kentucky, and yes, decided to explore this during a pandemic, but are still eager to connect with like minded people. There are a few "swinger" clubs in our area and we have reached out via email but not sure anything is really open at this time.

Any advice on how to navigate this is much appreciated. My partner explored dating separately and did have a sexual encounter with a woman, but we both found that wasn't really what either of us want in terms of having a triad, parallel relationship or any other hierarchal type connection within the poly community. No disrespect whatsoever, we just both feel like our relationship is our priority, but we would like to explore sexual connections together (i.e. looking into swinger clubs).

We would love to chat with other couples and possibly connect online since in person is limited at this time. I've seen a few threads about Google Hangouts but haven't used it for this type of scenario.

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you in advance!

 

[PeachPair]

Curious too

We have a similar story. Early 50s. Considering opening our marriage, too. Covid complicated things so we are thinking of having some more online fun while we work to figure this out....we’d love to hear more about your experience! We’d also love to hear any suggestions from others. Opens to chatting, too....

 

[2TryAnything]

Been there . . . loved it!

The ever-present pandemic makes it difficult. I'm not sure what advice I could offer that wouldn't involve acting on your desires in a physical way. After all, online interaction is cool and there can be lots of elements of it that are a turn-on but, at the end of the day, poly or consensual non-monogamy or whatever you want to call it can only be fully realized when there's an IRL component to it.

When my wife and I explored all this several years ago, one great benefit was that we both felt completely secure in our relationship. In other words, we'd reached a point at which there was no fear of jealousy, no manipulation, no head games. Each of us was totally committed to the idea of making the other happy. So, it was easy to open our relationship. We began by courting a very close male friend of ours whom my wife loved very deeply. We three lived together for a while in true polyamory and it was wonderful. Oh, and the sex was out of this world! Sometimes we'd do three-ways and sometimes it would be just the two of them. But, one way or the other, we were living in a constant state of arousal.

After his life circumstances forced a change (he moved away) we found it easy to seek other partners because we'd proved to ourselves that our relationship could flourish as an open/poly one.