Could you get "serious" with someone if the SEX wasnt good?

[Devilish1]

If so, how would you go about telling them they could be better in the bedroom?

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Yes. Sex isn't everything. And I would simply suggest different techniques... say he or she is playing with my clit, and it doesn't feel all that fantastic (sometimes, rough fingers can hurt)... I gently take their hand in mine and show them what is good... and I'd be gentle and supportive of all the things that could use some changing... and I'd transform him/her into a super lover...

I've done it before, I can do it again.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Yes

It isn't always something that is burning fire. You have to fuel the flames. Sometimes it takes people a while to get comfortable together. To find their mesh. And other times its just never there.

 

[CoolidgEffect]

Yes. With every lover, things have gotten better with time and mutual experience.

 

[SamEyeAm]

Yes, although with an important reservation. I agree with everyone's comments above, that it is well worth the time to teach a new lover, or an inexperienced lover, what is satisfying and effective. However, I have recently had an experience with a wonderful woman who was inexperienced, but as it later came clear, didn't much like sex and had very little interest in it. The difference in our sexual feelings and attitudes eventually played a major role in the relationship ending. I would not get involved again with someone who was that different from me regarding sex.

 

[glamorilla]

no.

we can be friends.

 

[Nora]

In my case, I married him. Do I recommend it? No.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

If so, how would you go about telling them they could be better in the bedroom?

If the sex was bad, probably not. If the sex was okay but not "good", then yes - if they were a lovable person. If the sex was good but not fantastic? Sure - no problemo. I would be happiest if I was with someone who was not extremely inhibited though - that makes for a struggle to better the sex. If they were willing to learn and try things then the sex could be made to be good.

 

[NoRegrets]

In my case, I married him. Do I recommend it? No.

I've had fabulous sexual relationships with women I could
not live, even after trying for years. I finally found someone
I can live with and she does't like sex that much.

I can't recommend anything.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Nope. Been there, done that. Never again. I've had a taste of something fine, as Jackson Browne put it, and I'm not about to settle for less. Again.

 

[bluemuse]

In my case, I married him. Do I recommend it? No.

*sigh* What she said.

 

[ScarlettRose]

I don't know, I really can't imagine the sex being bad unless there were other problems.

 

[calypso_21]

If so, how would you go about telling them they could be better in the bedroom?

Yup...married him....didn't work though.

 

[peachykeen]

depends if you think the raw material you've got to work with is worthwhile. Someone who is telling you "no, never, now leave me alone and go to sleep" probably means it. Someone who is just inexperienced or has some body issues to get through but is willing to work on it, then yes.

 

[Diablogrl]

I could easily get serious with someone if the sex weren't great...although whether I stuck around would be a different story. My last serious relationship was with a guy who could only have sex once in a 24 hour period and to make things worse, he rarely went longer than 2 minutes. I very much believe that physical and emotional intimacy influence each other...where one is lacking, the other tends to follow. If however, this hypothetical was with someone who was enthusiastic and I could teach, my answer is completely different. Nonetheless, I am a very demanding lover who needs a lot of physical contact when I'm around my significant others...I can't get involved in a relationship with someone with a low drive and a distaste for large amounts of physical contact.

 

[crysede]

I don't think sex is ever really good at first - it takes a while before you get to know your lover's body, and all the little things that drive them wild (but don't get me wrong, I think the learning process is lots of fun ).

I guess I have to agree with ScarlettRose, I can't imagine sex not becoming good unless there were other problems - like lack of intimacy, or interest, or communication, etc.

 

[Xander]

I don't think sex is ever really good at first - it takes a while before you get to know your lover's body, and all the little things that drive them wild (but don't get me wrong, I think the learning process is lots of fun ).

I guess I have to agree with ScarlettRose, I can't imagine sex not becoming good unless there were other problems - like lack of intimacy, or interest, or communication, etc.

Excellent point *thumbs up*

 

[Jim_Henson]

Yup

 

[Juspar Emvan]

No, but sex being good isn't enough by itself either. It's one of many things taht have to be right before I get serious.

Crys, I disagree, I've had some fantastic sex with lovers I hardly know. But then, getting to know is half the excitement.

 

[Mischka]

I've never had a bad lover. If they couldn't kiss, it ended there.

 

[Juspar Emvan]

Mischka my sweet, I have a razor, come here.

 

[Mischka]

Don't you worry - Rick's set to fix me up. He's working on tortoise's shag carpet first, though.

 

[Guest]

My husband is an incredible lover, it is his libido that is lacking.
We have been together for several years and his sex drive hasn't depleted over time, it has just never been as strong as mine. We make love maybe once a month. It drives me crazy! I would never even consider cheating on him, but damn it I have needs that he just isn't fulfilling. Physical contact is very important to me.
Sometimes I wonder if I am unattractive, but men hit on me frequently so that is reassuring.

Writing stories has become my substitute for sex, that and busy fingers

Sorry, I'm just horny and he's ignoring me .....

Thanks for listening.

 

[tortoise]

Don't you worry - Rick's set to fix me up. He's working on tortoise's shag carpet first, though.

You'd best bring a fresh set o' clippers. I smell smoke coming from the current set.

 

[concrete]

well the olde sex drive thing IS a powerfull emotion
once.,years ago ,had to dump a blond,blue eyed babe!!
the wet noodle complex...knew nothing more could happen.