could use some sound advice.

[boredVAwife]

Thanks for all the helpful pm's

 

[Crescent_Kit]

Hello and I would like to thank you in advance for reading this and hopefully providing me with your insight if you have been in this situation. I recently rold my husband of 13 yrs about my bi sexuality. I had been with a couple of women before we were married and two since but he knew of neither situation until I told him almost 2 weeks ago. I still am not sure if he can accept what I have told him and tho I love him and value our marriage I don't want to keep hiding my passion and feelings. I have recently fallen for a woman that may as well be on the dark side of the moon but he still feels threatened. If you have gone thru this, I would really like to hear how you handled it and maybe things you might have done differently. Thank you.

13 years and you just told him? If I were in his shoes, I'd probably be a bit upset I didn't find out for so long.

 

[boredVAwife]

Thanks for all the helpful pm's

 

[boredVAwife]

Thanks for the helpful pm's

 

[Pheonexra]

So 13 years of marriage and you had two affairs. Has he cheated on you? I honestly would feel very betrayed and seriously doubt the relationship.

 

[removed021712]

I don;t necessarily disagree with the above posters but, I know that that is not what you're looking for and it's not very constructive,.

I am NOT a woman and, therefore, have not been in this situation but, I AM a man and I can imagine HIS position and what might be a good approach. After this kind of news, some time for thought and reflection is probably a good idea - and you've given him two weeks. So, at this point, why not ask him; "hey, have you had time to digest what I told you a few weeks ago, I'd like to know what you think of it".

While you could say that you'e already put yourself out by telling him in the first place and maybe now it's his turn to come to you, I would imagine that he might want to talk about this but, doesn't have an abillity to start the conversation. He may not even understand what you told him and could be wondering if you are now leaving him for another woman, if you want to invite a woman to join the two of you in your bed, if you simply had to get somethign off of your chest and he's wondering who else, man or woman, will be next....there are a lot of possibilities...

I dunno if this helps. I hope it does.

 

[wv4u]

msg

The cat out of the bag. How does the other partner feels that U have told your hubby about this. Have U thought about having your hubby join in for a 3-way?How is your hubby handling this? Keep in touch.

 

[boredVAwife]

In the past few days things have gotten much better than I would have thought actually. My husband is rather conservative and when we talked more about my sexuality before our marriage, he is realizing it is not him but me. I am not going to be as involved with women IRL as I have been because I have no intention of throwing away my marriage and he may even warm to the idea of another woman sharing our bed. I think the initial shock was hard to take and is understandable but he is tellimg me that he is starting to get that I can want to be with a woman and feel that intimacy and it is not a reflection on him or that he and I are not on solid ground so the changes in the past couple of days are very encouraging. I guess it helps him to know that the woman I have fallen for is so far away that the chances of us actually being together often are remote. Thank you for your interest and thoughtful response.

 

[denicegirl]

I am 36 happily married and bicurious. I have never done anything with a woman, but my heart goes out to you. I love my husband so much and I dont think he would understand my desires. You are very brave to tell him and if anything he has to respect you for coming clean. My husband is pretty conservative and I just cant picture risking telling him. Good luck.

 

[mtwain4u]

the thing that keeps jumping out to me is you've said a couple of times about falling for another woman (far away). what I would be careful of if I were you (and what I'd be leary of if I was your husband) is having an emotional investment with someone other than your spouse. It's one thing to like the sex, the intimacy, the feel of another woman. It's quite another to "fall" for her (or a guy). Because any emotional investment (love) you commit to another is the emotional investment you are no longer able to commit to your spouse. In other words, you have only so much love to give and if you're giving it to someone else then your not being true to your spouse.

Not trying to be preachy; just want you to be aware that, while it may be fun, if you're investing emotionally in this other person then its bound to lead to trouble in your marriage.

Good luck. Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss this in more detail. My office is always open

 

[boredVAwife]

I would like to thank everyone for the comments. The pms of support from the women were so thoughtful and appreciated. Our marriage has gotten much stronger since I spoke up about my desres. My husband does not feel as threatened after realizing that I dated women prior to him and actually has opened up to me more in the past week than I can ever remember. Again I really appreciate the wonderful ladies that sent messages of support and excellent advice and encouragement.