Could Use Some Feedback

[UnfetteredMale]

Hi there. I have 4 stories published, and currently working on an other one. This one is a little different for me - it's a F/F story (and the author, a 50's M). I can't quite explain it. I feel like it's there, but it's not there. Something just doesn't feel as strong to me, maybe I'm feeling like it's too "She does this to her" and stage direction than story. It's heavy on the preamble (a common thing I seem to do lol) and I'm just getting into the heat, but that's where I'm feeling the challenge. Anyone interested in giving me some good honest feedback on this work in progress? Thank you!

 

[CiaoSteve]

I know what you mean about 'it's there.' I've written a few F/F stories because I've felt attracted to writing them. Some of them have done quite well although I suspect that might be with more of a male reading audience. I tend to go more sensual and less explicit, albeit a few actually have a more dominant side. How long is your story? I can give you links to a couple of mine as well in case you want to glance at something also written by a man but focusing on F/F.

https://www.literotica.com/s/anna-and-the-librarian
https://www.literotica.com/s/work-hard-play-harder-ch-09
https://www.literotica.com/s/voyage-of-self-discovery-ch-02

 

[UnfetteredMale]

@CiaoSteve - thanks for the links, I'll definitely take a look

 

[Stanfield2025]

Hi there. I have 4 stories published, and currently working on an other one. This one is a little different for me - it's a F/F story (and the author, a 50's M). I can't quite explain it. I feel like it's there, but it's not there. Something just doesn't feel as strong to me, maybe I'm feeling like it's too "She does this to her" and stage direction than story. It's heavy on the preamble (a common thing I seem to do lol) and I'm just getting into the heat, but that's where I'm feeling the challenge. Anyone interested in giving me some good honest feedback on this work in progress? Thank you!

Do you think it's more sex than story? Is that the issue?

 

[MarieWriter]

Sometimes more sex than story works, sometimes the opposite. Consider the readership, if you're posting here, knowing and understanding the readership is one of the biggest keys to what you post, (and write).