Could Use Some Advice

[biscorpio]

I am a 30 year old guy and have only been in relationships with women, have only sexually been with women but I guess you can call it a curiosity about what it would be like to be with a man.

Sexually I am attracted to both men & women but never have acted on my urges. Should I just ignore it or at least act on it once.

I look at it this way, I'm 30 and want to find a committed relationship but want to make sure I am doing the right thing before fully committing myself with a woman.

Any advice? Any guy face this dilemma?

It's funny how these days it's accepted for women to be together sexually but for men it's not.

 

[EJFan]

i can't speak from personal experience but i've read a lot of posts along this line... so it's far from unusual.

the way i look at it is that a relationship with an SO of the same sex is the same is it is with one of the opposite sex. you just sort of start with that little thing that you both have in common... then it progresses to more meetings and interactions... emotional bonds... then on to physical things.

if you come across a guy who you can travel this road with, go for it if it feels right. of course, if at some point a flag goes up or something, then just move on with your life and try again the next time you have the chance.

basically i'm just saying to not overthink it.

 

[silverwhisper]

biscorpio:

i think you should explore it. maybe it's a temporary attraction, maybe it's something more, but w/out exploring it, i really don't know how you'd know for certain w/out a lot of heartache. you're only 30? take the time now, i say.

ed

 

[SweetErika]

You have to do what you feel is right for you. It sounds like you might want to act on your attraction/curiosity though, and my advice is to be open to doing so, and perhaps even start looking more actively. In my mind, there's absolutely no reason to ignore it since it's perfectly natural and something you'd like to do.

If you drop in GLBT Chatter, you'll see there are lots of women who love bi and gay men, and are very turned on by watching men together. So it's not like no woman will accept and support this part of you. There are also plenty of men who felt the same, got married to a woman they thought wouldn't accept it, and are now living with the decision of whether to live a lie or cheat. So, I do feel it's important to be upfront about who you are and how you feel about all aspects of sexuality because most people would be none too happy to find out you hid a large part of yourself. I told my husband I was interested in women as soon as I really realized it, but I didn't act on it or come out to myself as bi until after we were married. That caused a lot of guilt because I felt he should have been fully informed and had the opportunity to opt-out if he wasn't cool with my sexuality and desire to have other relationships.

 

[biscorpio]

I appreciate the advice. I just recently started with anal play using dildos & a vibrator & i love the way it feels. I would also love to try givng oral.

I have recently placed a personal ad at outpersonals.com but most of the guys i have received a reply from just want to meet for oral & a quicky which is not what i want.

I really do want to act on my sexual feelings & try the other side but don't even know where the hell to look or start.

 

[SweetErika]

I appreciate the advice. I just recently started with anal play using dildos & a vibrator & i love the way it feels. I would also love to try givng oral.

I have recently placed a personal ad at outpersonals.com but most of the guys i have received a reply from just want to meet for oral & a quicky which is not what i want.

I really do want to act on my sexual feelings & try the other side but don't even know where the hell to look or start.

Good for you! You might also try http://www.bisexual.org or even something like http://www.okcupid.com (not strictly GLBT, but many queer and openminded for friendship and more) and there have been a few threads on good (a lot of free, too) personals sites here and in GLBT, so a search might be fruitful.