Could my now ex b/f be gay?

[QueenBLola]

Ok, I just got out of a relationship with a black man that I think may be gay and looking for anyone's opinion?

Early on in the relationship I had asked him if he had a prostate massage and he said yes once and then immediatly went into vivid detail how he wanted me to peg him with a strap on and then suck my dick (strap on). This was the first time we ever discussed sex and had only known each other a couple weeks. It is pretty much all he ever talked about and wanted and even asked me if I would be OK with always doing it to him. Towards the end of the relationship I told him I was going to have a guy fuck him in the ass while he was being sub to me. He said he would not have a problem with it. Except when we first started dating he was always asking me if I thought he was gay because of him wanting strap on sex all the time and when I told him some men have sex with men and are not gay he said he would never ever want a man's cock in his ass. Now at the end he is wanting a man to analy fuck him and suck his dick and he would suck the others guys as well.

The first time I pegged him with a strap on he came and he seemed to take it well. I know the first time I had anal sex it was not so easy to take and took a bit to get used to.

I am now concerned that maybe I have been having sex with a black gay man on the DL. Does anyone have any thoughts? He is a sociopath as well so that could be a factor for the sex with anyone/anything maybe as well.

 

[Programmer Cat]

Are you sure he wasn't just bi? I think that if he was really gay, having you peg him with a strap-on wouldn't have been enough. Hell, it's not enough for me, and I love pussy as much as I do cocks.

 

[QueenBLola]

I suppose he could be. He certainly enjoyed doing me but he quickly went from wanting strap on from me to wanting me to find a guy to do him. It was shocking since at the beginning of the relationship he made sure to tell me all the time he wasn't gay and never wanted to see another man's cock let alone have one fuck him.

 

[Programmer Cat]

I suppose he could be. He certainly enjoyed doing me but he quickly went from wanting strap on from me to wanting me to find a guy to do him. It was shocking since at the beginning of the relationship he made sure to tell me all the time he wasn't gay and never wanted to see another man's cock let alone have one fuck him.

Yeah, I can see why you'd be shocked. I probably shocked the hell out of my wife when I sucked my first cock in front of her. Neither of us knew I had it in me, even though I had willingly let her do me with a strap-on on our wedding night.

 

[gaymm]

I suppose he could be. He certainly enjoyed doing me but he quickly went from wanting strap on from me to wanting me to find a guy to do him. It was shocking since at the beginning of the relationship he made sure to tell me all the time he wasn't gay and never wanted to see another man's cock let alone have one fuck him.

Well he could be, and in denial, or just bi.

Not many gay men that I know, including myself, who are comfortable being gay, will have sex or seek intimacy with or actively date a woman. It is not just sex, with men (or male objects that we desire): it is the emotional need and physical attachment, that draws me to other men. Sure there is always that initial physical attraction to some men, but ultimately it is the emotional closeness and intimacy that only another gay man can offer and offer back that I feel makes me gay.

That being said, does it really matter?

 

[QueenBLola]

I am concerned now because he is a sociopath and finding out more and more about a double life he is leading. He told me he was a regular condom user as was I but in our relationship we did not use condoms because we were going to spend the rest of our lives together...or so he said. Now I am finding out he is traveling all over the country for sex and believe it is with men as well. It's a long crazy story. He is also black and many black men and women have told me that black men are harder to determine if they are gay or not since they actively date/sleep with women. I was also told that men rarely cum from strictly anal penetration the first time or at all and he did. It just didn't seem like it was his first time when I fucked him with the strap on.

So I am concerned for myself now if he is truly sleeping with men and women and knowing he is probably not using protection.

 

[Night_Jasmine]

Get yourself tested, that's all I can say. That's irresponsible of him and definitely horrible for you to have to worry about.

It sounds to me like he's bi as well.

Good luck, sweetie.

 

[Hitchiker69]

Just a horny Bi guy

Sounds to me like he's just a horny, open minded Bi guy. He'll take any kind of sex wherever he can. He is definately greedy and inconsiderate, since he doesn't use protection with you.
When I was younger I was just like him. I'd have sex with a guy one night, and a woman the next. If I trusted the woman I'd be open with her, and I'd admit my Bi experience. Otherwise I'd keep it to myself, and continue to screw everyone I could, male or female. In my mind any sex was good sex, and what I did with my sex partners was nobodys business but mine.