Corny Joke Thread, post em here....
- Thread starter Mistress
- Start date
Barb Dwyer
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 30, 2001
- Posts
- 939
What do you call the costume for a one-leged ballerina?
A one-one!
A one-one!
Weird Harold
Opinionated Old Fart
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2000
- Posts
- 23,768
Why did Cinderella get cut from the basketball team?
'Cause she ran from the Ball.
'Cause she ran from the Ball.
The_old_man
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2001
- Posts
- 916
What is the differance between:
A whore
A mistress
A wife
A wife is a partner.
A mistress is on salery.
A whore is working piece rate.
A whore
A mistress
A wife
A wife is a partner.
A mistress is on salery.
A whore is working piece rate.
~melia~
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2000
- Posts
- 583
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg,looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet and rolls over and says,
"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"
*********************************
Why was Snow White arrested at DisneyLand?
Because she was caught sitting on Pinocchio's face saying, 'Lie Bastard....Lie!'
*********************************
What do you get when you cross Viagra with Rogaine?
Don King.
*********************************
Q: What do men and tile floors have in common?
A: If you lay them well, you can walk on them for years
*********************************
Q: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because they won't stop to ask directions.
*********************************
Q. What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs?
A. One is a goodyear, and the other is a great year!
*********************************
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are about 3 to 4 dollars and deer nuts are under a buck.
*********************************
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn" A bad skydiver goes,"Damn." WHACK!.
*********************************
How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end
*********************************
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear?
Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo
The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg,looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet and rolls over and says,
"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"
*********************************
Why was Snow White arrested at DisneyLand?
Because she was caught sitting on Pinocchio's face saying, 'Lie Bastard....Lie!'
*********************************
What do you get when you cross Viagra with Rogaine?
Don King.
*********************************
Q: What do men and tile floors have in common?
A: If you lay them well, you can walk on them for years
*********************************
Q: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because they won't stop to ask directions.
*********************************
Q. What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs?
A. One is a goodyear, and the other is a great year!
*********************************
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are about 3 to 4 dollars and deer nuts are under a buck.
*********************************
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn" A bad skydiver goes,"Damn." WHACK!.
*********************************
How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end
*********************************
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear?
Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo
willywanker
just one man's opinion
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2000
- Posts
- 3,620
LOL, Sesamee Street, brings back memories
Do you all remember blowing bubbles when you were kids growing up?
I ran into Bubbles the other day and he said to tell you Hi when I saw you.
Do you all remember blowing bubbles when you were kids growing up?
I ran into Bubbles the other day and he said to tell you Hi when I saw you.
Weird Harold
Opinionated Old Fart
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2000
- Posts
- 23,768
What do call...
a polar bear in a jungle?
Lost!
a polar bear in a jungle?
Lost!
Desert Amazon
Esse Quam Videri
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2000
- Posts
- 6,482
Confucious says:
Kymberley
I perfected 'BITCHYNESS'
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2000
- Posts
- 1,866
compliments of my 14 year old son....
A duck walks into a store and asks the owner, "Got any gwapes?"
Owner says, "what is gwapes?"
Duck says, "you know they are gween or purpwle and the gweeks used to eat them."
Owner says, "you mean grapes?"
Duck says, "Yes, do you got any?"
Owner says, "no"
Next day the duck walks in the same store and asks, "got any gwapes?"
Owner says, "I told you yesterday I didn't."
Next day, the duck walks in and asks again, "got any gwapes?"
The owner gets a little angry and tell the duck, "no i ain't got any grapes and if you come in and ask that again I am going to staple your feet to the floor."
The next day, the duck walks in the store, "got any staples?"
The owner looks puzzled then answers, "nope"
The duck says, "in that case, got any gwapes?"
A duck walks into a store and asks the owner, "Got any gwapes?"
Owner says, "what is gwapes?"
Duck says, "you know they are gween or purpwle and the gweeks used to eat them."
Owner says, "you mean grapes?"
Duck says, "Yes, do you got any?"
Owner says, "no"
Next day the duck walks in the same store and asks, "got any gwapes?"
Owner says, "I told you yesterday I didn't."
Next day, the duck walks in and asks again, "got any gwapes?"
The owner gets a little angry and tell the duck, "no i ain't got any grapes and if you come in and ask that again I am going to staple your feet to the floor."
The next day, the duck walks in the store, "got any staples?"
The owner looks puzzled then answers, "nope"
The duck says, "in that case, got any gwapes?"
***For this joke you will need 5 pennies***
Q) Look at the first penny, do you smell anything?
A) A scent (cent, groan)
Q) Put 2 pennies in your hand, do you see any fruit?
A) A pair (hang on it gets better)
Q) Hold 3 pennies, do you see any snakes?
A) 3 copperheads
Q) Holding 4 pennies, do you see any cars?
A) 4 Lincoln's
Q) Now hold out 5 pennies in your hand, do you see any pussy?
A) ....And for five cents, you never will!
Q) Look at the first penny, do you smell anything?
A) A scent (cent, groan)
Q) Put 2 pennies in your hand, do you see any fruit?
A) A pair (hang on it gets better)
Q) Hold 3 pennies, do you see any snakes?
A) 3 copperheads
Q) Holding 4 pennies, do you see any cars?
A) 4 Lincoln's
Q) Now hold out 5 pennies in your hand, do you see any pussy?
A) ....And for five cents, you never will!
morninggirl5
Secret Dream Machine
- Joined
- May 6, 2001
- Posts
- 10,647
What do a hurricane in Florida, a tornado in Kansas and a divorce in Mississippi have in common?
Somebody is about to lose a trailer.
Somebody is about to lose a trailer.
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