Cookie's Haunted House

10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween, But Aren't...

1. So...What'd you get in the sack?

2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!

3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!

4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!

5. I got the best piece from that house.

6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!

7. Stick your hand in and guess what you're feeling....

8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!

9. They'll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.

10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldnt get my mouth around it!!!!
 
Why Pumpkins are better than Men

1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from.

2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins are always ready to greet you with a smile.

3. One usually makes a better pie.

4. They are always on the doorstep there waiting for you!

5. If you don't like the way he looks, you just carve up another face.

6. If he starts smelling up your place, you can just throw him out.

7. From the start you know a pumpkin has an empty, mush filled head to begin with.

8. A pumpkin is turned on (lit-up) only when you want him to be.
 
Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-or-Treating is Better Than Sex

10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go back at it again.

8. The stranger you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave it to you.

6. Person you are with doesn't fantasize you're someone else, you already are.

5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last nine months.

4. If you wear leather and chains, no one thinks you're kinky.

3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2. Less guilt the next morning from over-indulging.

1. If you don't get what you want at one place, you can always go next door to get more!
 
Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-or-Treating is Better than Sex
>
>10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
>
>9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
>
>8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
>
>7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
>
>6. Its OK when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else,
>because you ARE someone else.
>
>5. 40 years from now, you'll still enjoy candy.
>
>4. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door.
>
>3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
>
>2. Less guilt the next morning.
>
>AND....
>
>1. You can do the whole neighborhood!!!
 
Thought this might help everyone out tonight!!!

Bobbing Apples: What happens when you jog without a bra.

Boogieman: The guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose.

Coffin: What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck
in your throat.

Frankenstein: Hot dog and a mug of beer.

Full Moon: What your repairman reveals when he bends over
to fix your fridge.

Goblin: How you eat the snickers bars you got for Halloween.

Invisible Man: What a guy becomes when there's housework to
be done. Also, known as "Mr. Hyde."

Jack O' Lantern: An Irish Pumpkin.

Jack the Ripper: What Jack does to his lottery tickets after
losing each week.

Mummy: The person who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape
your knee.

Pumpkin Patch: What a pumpkin wears when trying to quit
smoking.

Skeleton: Any supermodel.

Vampire Bat: What Dracula hits a baseball with.

Witch: See "Mother-in-Law."

Zombie: What you look like before that first cup of morning coffee
 
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