Convoluted Christmas Carole’s

[Edward Teach]

Deck Us All
Walt Kelly and Pogo

Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an' Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!

Don't we know archaic barrel
Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don't love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker 'n' too-da-loo!
Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope Cantaloupe, 'lope with you!

Hunky Dory's pop is lolly gaggin' on the wagon,
Willy, folly go through!
Chollie's collie barks at Barrow,
Harum scarum five alarm bung-a-loo!

Dunk us all in bowls of barley,
Hinky dinky dink an' polly voo!
Chilly Filly's name is Chollie,
Chollie Filly's jolly chilly view halloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Double-bubble, toyland trouble! Woof, woof, woof!
Tizzy seas on melon collie!
Dibble-dabble, scribble-scrabble! Goof, goof, goof!

 

[Edward Teach]

Sigh In The Night
Stup Dity


Sigh in the night hole is tight
Ali’s cum in the night
Rhonda’s virgin hole is bare
Foley’s wondering if she would dare
Give him a little piece
Give him a little piece

 

[LadyJeanne]

You've been touched by the Christmas spirit, Stup!

Keep it UP

 

[Evil Alpaca]

You've been touched by the Christmas spirit, Stup!

Keep it UP

Christmas spirit? I thought it was alcohol.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

The Herald Angel is going to come and give you SUCH a kick!

 

[rgraham666]

You've been touched by the Christmas spirit, Stup!

Keep it UP

I think we could end that sentence at 'touched'.

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

I think we could end that sentence at 'touched'.

I wonder if he could sue the Heavenly Host for molestation?

 

[rgraham666]

I wonder if he could sue the Heavenly Host for molestation?

Good idea. He would probably win.

There are no lawyers in Heaven.

 

[Lisa Denton]

I request Stup Dity's "Babes in da crib"

 

[Edward Teach]

I request Stup Dity's "Babes in da crib"

Yeah, that is a good one. Uh, how does that go again?


Eddie The Manager

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I request Stup Dity's "Babes in da crib"

Eddy in the Manger no bed for his crib,
While Eddy’s most recent stands napping her bib. . .


Oops! that's not Stup Dity's

 

[Guest]

Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Robin flew away.
Uncle Billy
Lost his willy
On the motorway...

My eight year old came home from school singing this today. I'm dreading their Christmas play tomorrow night.

Lou

P.S. It was all I could do not to PMSL!!!

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Robin flew away.
Uncle Billy
Lost his willy
On the motorway...

My eight year old came home from school singing this today. I'm dreading their Christmas play tomorrow night.

Lou

P.S. It was all I could do not to PMSL!!!

There's two other versions to that but i can only remember this one:

Jingle bells
batman smells
robins in the hall
joker's in the bathroom
peeing on the wall

.......fucking dirty children

i think if my 8 year old sang this version, i'd be pissed

 

[Goldie Munro]

Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Robin flew away.
Uncle Billy
Lost his willy
On the motorway...

My eight year old came home from school singing this today. I'm dreading their Christmas play tomorrow night.

Lou

P.S. It was all I could do not to PMSL!!!

Id be looking forward to it if I was you!!

 

[Honey123]

another version:

Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
the batmobile lost a wheel
and Easter's on it waaaayyyyy!

 

[Edward Teach]

Oh Lit Tell Us of Beth And Them

Oh Lit Tell Us of Beth And Them
Stup Dity and the Dityettes


Oh Lit tell us of Beth and them
Who make love in the light
Above the sheets and in the streets
As shining cars go by

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

You know Flasher and Gasher, Depantser and Vixen,
Varmint and Poof Kid and Pander and Dicksend;
But have you impaled the most heinous hooker e'er nailed.
Screwdoff the red-assed dipso had a very tender butt,
And if you ever chewed it, you would say it had a rut.
All of the other hookers used to punch her and explain,
Cause she ne'er asked for money, she was fuckt, also her brain.

 

[Edward Teach]

Good King Oggbashan

By Stup Dity
all rights reserved

Good King Oggbashan took out
His big cock of steel then
Peed the snow his name about
Hoping it would be seen
Brightly shone the moon’s night cast
Lady Jeanne was walking
When Og spied her pretty ass
He gave her a porking

 

[LadyJeanne]

Re: Good King Oggbashan

By Stup Dity
all rights reserved

Good King Oggbashan took out
His big cock of steel then
Peed the snow his name about
Hoping it would be seen
Brightly shone the moon’s night cast
Lady Jeanne was walking
When Og spied her pretty ass

He gave her a porking

heya, don't stop there...

 

[minsue]

So, I've been wondering, Teach - Who is Carole and does she own the rights to these songs?

 

[Edward Teach]

Re: Re: Good King Oggbashan

heya, don't stop there...

Are you sure about that?


Stup Dity

 

[Edward Teach]

So, I've been wondering, Teach - Who is Carole and does she own the rights to these songs?

Ain't it Christmas Carole's? I copied that off the Dook University web site. Friggin' pukie dookies can't get anything right. UNC's Sun Site was busy. Damn.


Eddie The Tarheel

 

[minsue]

Ain't it Christmas Carole's? I copied that off the Dook University web site. Friggin' pukie dookies can't get anything right. UNC's Sun Site was busy. Damn.


Eddie The Tarheel

Carol, but I think carole may also be correct, if archaic. Twas more the possessive that amused me.

 

[Edward Teach]

Carol, but I think carole may also be correct, if archaic. Twas more the possessive that amused me.

Nope, Dook University has it Carole's. I think you are wrong, but Carolina's site is still busy so I can't get an definitive answer.


Stup Dity

 

[Seattle Zack]

One of our local DJs, Bob Rivers, has been producing "Twisted Tunes" for several years now. He's actually quite talented, and the lyrics are very clever, and the Christmas CDs are a big hit up here in the NW.

Check out all the Twisted Tunes Christmas Albums (and listen to the songs) here at at http://www.bobrivers.com/store/

A few of my favorites:

"A Visit From St Nicholson"

"The Twelve Pains of Christmas"

"Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear"

"White Trash Christmas"

"Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire"

"Oh Come All Ye Grateful Deadheads"

and "Jingle Hells Bells" ('cause I'm a big AC/DC fan)

(click on the individual Christmas albums then the songs to hear them)