Contribute to the "Send Redwave to Cuba" fund

[miles]

Now is your chance to pitch in and help fulfill redwave's dream of making pilgrimage to one of the few remaining Communist countries in the entire world - the canker of the Caribbean, Cuba.

Your contribution will help pay for his one-way ticket with a minimum stay of 30 years. Soon he'll be harvesting sugar cane or rolling cigars among his deliriously happy comrades. Several times a week he'll watch Cuban baseball. Unfortunately most of the talent risked their lives and fled the motherland for a chance to play in the US. So far, none have asked to go back. Maybe they like being paid $10,000,000 annually instead of $2500. Oh well.

Redwave can also look forward to being in top physical condition from power walking everywhere he goes. Everyone walks in Cuba! Very few people own cars, and even if they did no parts are available anymore for vehicles made in the late fifties.

All that and free health care too!

Please look deep into your heart and fork over the fucking money so we can help this poor fuckweasel fulfill his lifelong quest for Communism. Gifts must be cash, Cashier's Check, or Money Order. Check off the amount of your contribution and send it to the following address:

Miles
General Delivery
Atlanta, GA 30303


Yes! I'm contributing! (circle the amount)

$50 (Red Patron)
$100 (White Patron)
$25,000 (Blue Patron)

 

[Problem Child]

I can't donate any money, but I will ship you one each REDWAVE Transport To Cuba Kit for his float from the Florida coast. The kit contains the following communist manufactured items:

1 ea. Czechoslovakian commie army surplus inner tube.

1 ea. Soviet toiletry bag, suitable for tying around the travelers neck for use as a chum bag.

1 ea. tin of Ukranian pig lard to prevent chapped lips during the voyage. Future Cuban cocksuckers can't have chapped lips.

1 ea. large tin of Romanian army surplus hardtack.

1 ea. Commie fishing kit, containing 1 rusty hook and 3 meters of weak monofilament line, manufactured in E. Germany circa 1954 to ensure complete commieness.

1 ea. Yugoslavian army compass, guaranteed accurate to no more than +/- 40 degrees of magnetic north.

Happy Sailing, motherfucker!

 

[miles]

I can't donate any money, but I will ship you one each REDWAVE Transport To Cuba Kit for his float from the Florida coast. The kit contains the following communist manufactured items:

1 ea. Czechoslovakian commie army surplus inner tube.

1 ea. Soviet toiletry bag, suitable for tying around the travelers neck for use as a chum bag.

1 ea. tin of Ukranian pig lard to prevent chapped lips during the voyage. Future Cuban cocksuckers can't have chapped lips.

1 ea. large tin of Romanian army surplus hardtack.

1 ea. Commie fishing kit, containing 1 rusty hook and 3 meters of weak monofilament line, manufactured in E. Germany circa 1954 to ensure complete commieness.

1 ea. Yugoslavian army compass, guaranteed accurate to no more than +/- 40 degrees of magnetic north.

Happy Sailing, motherfucker!

Dear Mr. Child:

Thank you for your generosity.

Unfortunately, we cannot accept any of the items. They are in great demand in Cuba, and can only be purchased as luxuries on the capitalistic pig black market. If redwave was caught with his type of contraband, he would be deported back to the US, most likely to California. That's if they don't try and hang him first with that cheap-ass fishing line.

Thanks again, and God Bless America.

Sincerely,

Mr. Miles

 

[p_p_man]

It's probably a freer country than...

America is right now.

And they get free health care and education...

I wouldn't be so quick to call yourself a liberal country if I were you.

Or come to that even a liberated one...

ppman

 

[Chuckus]

Now is your chance to pitch in and help fulfill redwave's dream of making pilgrimage to one of the few remaining Communist countries in the entire world - the canker of the Caribbean, Cuba.

Your contribution will help pay for his one-way ticket with a minimum stay of 30 years. Soon he'll be harvesting sugar cane or rolling cigars among his deliriously happy comrades. Several times a week he'll watch Cuban baseball. Unfortunately most of the talent risked their lives and fled the motherland for a chance to play in the US. So far, none have asked to go back. Maybe they like being paid $10,000,000 annually instead of $2500. Oh well.

Redwave can also look forward to being in top physical condition from power walking everywhere he goes. Everyone walks in Cuba! Very few people own cars, and even if they did no parts are available anymore for vehicles made in the late fifties.

All that and free health care too!

Please look deep into your heart and fork over the fucking money so we can help this poor fuckweasel fulfill his lifelong quest for Communism. Gifts must be cash, Cashier's Check, or Money Order. Check off the amount of your contribution and send it to the following address:

Miles
General Delivery
Atlanta, GA 30303


Yes! I'm contributing! (circle the amount)

$50 (Red Patron)
$100 (White Patron)
$25,000 (Blue Patron)

Don't insult the Cubans by sending him there, send him to Siberia or to Pakistan.

 

[p_p_man]

Re: Re: Contribute to the "Send Redwave to Cuba" fund

Don't insult the Cubans by sending him there, send him to Siberia or to Pakistan.

You could always send him here...

The more Socialists we have the better...

We're not scared of them like America is and we need more support.

 

[TN_Vixen]

Re: It's probably a freer country than...

America is right now.

And they get free health care and education...

Yeah, problem is you only get one book for your entire education, and the "physicians" graduate from the same schools.

But, it's free! yay!

 

[miles]

A Post Script

Dear Mr. Child:

I've reconsidered your offer. Please send me:

1 ea. Czechoslovakian commie army surplus inner tube

Inspect it carefully and be sure it has the genuine smell of virgin rubber we all crave. Our organization would like to recycle your tube and mold into several mask-like devices with straps around the back, and of course a hole for breathing. When completed, we will donate these special masks to the poor.

Thank you again,

Mr. Miles

 

[miles]

Re: Re: It's probably a freer country than...

Yeah, problem is you only get one book for your entire education, and the "physicians" graduate from the same schools.

But, it's free! yay!

Please don't feed the animals.

Thank you.

The Management

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

It's probably a freer country than America is right now.

Gee yer dumb.

 

[TN_Vixen]

Re: Re: Re: It's probably a freer country than...

Please don't feed the animals.

Thank you.

The Management

But he looked like he had trouble confusing his asshole for his mouth.

 

[iwmggw]

Re: Re: Re: Contribute to the "Send Redwave to Cuba" fund

You could always send him here...

The more Socialists we have the better...

We're not scared of them like America is and we need more support.

what? the truss isn't working peepee?

 

[WriterDom]

He's been in Cuba all along running a casino.

Send in a few B-1s

 

[TN_Vixen]

Re: Re: Re: Re: It's probably a freer country than...

don't ask

 

[miles]

Re: Re: Re: Re: It's probably a freer country than...

But he looked like he had trouble confusing his asshole for his mouth.

Come sit in my lap and tell me all about it.

 

[sch00lteacher]

Can I use PayPal to contribute Miles?

 

[bluespoke]

Re: Re: Re: Contribute to the "Send Redwave to Cuba" fund

The more Socialists we have the better...

I think you need to look a little closer at political theory.

There's a big difference between a socialist, as we have them in the UK, and a devotee of communism.

REDWAVE can fuck off anywhere apart from the UK as far as I'm concerned.

Cuba's much too warm. What about one of the polar regions?

 

[miles]

Can I use PayPal to contribute Miles?

N -O - W - P............nope

 

[miles]

Come on people!

Where is your sense of charity? This abject figure has been moping around and is beginning to question the sincerity of his bullshit like the rest of us!

This is important. Look into your hearts and ask yourself "How will I feel if redwave doesn't go to Cuba because of a lack of funding?"

Regret is a terrible thing.

 

[miles]

Onlu $500 left to go

Let's help him flee our facsist police state, where none of us are free.

So what if he goes kicking and screaming? He'll get used to it there.

Only $500 left to go. The winner also gets redwave's personal website, complete with casino gambling popups that take money from the "Simple Simons" and pours it into fat cats' pockets.