considering the topic has already been broached...

[Always]

*sighs* time to tell a secret... or a few.. or whatever.

recently a bbmember's thread mentioned father/daughter incest.. and i figured if they could say it then so could i.

i was sexually molested by my father at the age of nine, but the problem is now (ten years later) i don't even remember what month it was. much less day and time.

now to be honest my father is a very sick man. he once told me he'd like to kill and then fuck my sister's corpse (which is my half sis and not his child) just because when she was my age she stole his pot stash. there have been many things he's said or done - such as beating the shit out of me that thanksgiving cause i had my window open - although he was the one bleeding afterwards, my eyes was red for weeks, he broke several blood vessels - butr anyway back to sick, embarrasing topic that i've never told anyone but one person, and then i made a joke out of it. i don't know if the person could hear the tone of my voice then and know it, but lemme say i'm damn glad you guys aren't literally hearing this.


i know it's kind of late to be complaining about it, and there's not much i can do, but.. well.... gods i don't know if i can put the details... but.. anyway. had to say it sometime.


almost as bad as the time i was thirteen and my sister's boyfriend's ex-wife's brother (forty three years of age) tried to get me to fuck him with a three year old and an eight year old sleeping on the floor next to us. the guy still scares the fuck out of me.


okay. enough of this. sorry for being so self-pitying. just... had to spill.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[plasticman33]

My wife had a similar childhood, her father was an abuser, the worst part of it was her mother knew and did nothing about it. It's taken her years to get over it. (Not that I'm certain she really is, but she deals with it).

 

[teresafannin]

Hello Shila, it is never too late to get some help. Childhood abuse leaves scars that can last a long time. Call your local rape crisis center like bratcat suggested. They can help you find someone to talk to. Take care. Teresa

 

[shadowsource]

.

 

[Cheyenne]

And people wonder why I have no interest in incest. Your thread is a great example as to "why." I can't understand something so hurtful ever being okay.

I have no experience in this area at all, thank God. But counseling sounds like an excellent suggestion to me. You've already taken the first step by starting to talk about it, even if it is years later. Now keep going, and get the help you deserve.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Get some help darlin. Seems like your issues are still clawing at your gullet, trying to get you to scream. You have to deal with them before they destroy you. Take it from a long time been there done that friendly neighborhood incest survivor chicky. There are clinics that provide services at low or no cost if cash is the problem.

If you don't get the demon out, he'll eat you alive until you look, inside, just like the man who created him. My suggestion would be sincere forgiveness. It's your grudge or your sanity.