Confused!

[holidayman]

Not certain of the rights or wrongs here but I have noticed that some stories contain the "dialogue" within lines of the narrative, is this ok? Seems untidy to me, e.g.:

Mary asked, "would you like to come with me?" Bill replied "Yes of course" They both made for the door.
Maybe just me should it not be:

Mary asked,

"Would you like to come with me?"

Bill replied

"Yes of course"

They both made for the door.

Some guidance here would be useful as I'm endeavouring to get a first story on the site!

 

[snoopercharmbrights]

Not certain of the rights or wrongs here but I have noticed that some stories contain the "dialogue" within lines of the narrative, is this ok? Seems untidy to me, e.g.:

Mary asked, "would you like to come with me?" Bill replied "Yes of course" They both made for the door.
Maybe just me should it not be:

Mary asked,

"Would you like to come with me?"

Bill replied

"Yes of course"

They both made for the door.

Some guidance here would be useful as I'm endeavouring to get a first story on the site!

Actually both are wrong, but in different ways.

The correct layout (both sides of the Atlantic) is:

Mary asked, "Would you like to come with me?"

Bill replied, "Yes, of course"

They both made for the door.

Separating the dialogue from the attribution is actually splitting a sentence in mid flow, but each new speaker should have a new paragraph. Also the two red commas are needed.

 

[holidayman]

Thanks for the swift response, much appreciated and helpful.