Hi, all. I'm a bit confused. I posted my first three stories this month (with a 4th going up this weekend). My wife loved them, those friends and co-workers with whom I shared them said they were funny, hot and well written. As of this writing, my three tales have been read nearly 7000 times and yet I've received no feedback(except from friends) and surprisingly few votes compared to some stories I see. One young female co-worker called my wife and said" Your husband is a bad, bad man and I can never look at him the same way again" I took that as a compliment. Still, I would appreciate any input from my fellow writers. Buzzwords was about 5 years in the making from idea to completion (with several false starts). Summer Magic, by contrast, was written and re-written within 24 hours and is matching Buzzwords for votes and readership despite going up over a week later. Can I Have Your Autograph was a more ambitious piece that I think I categorized incorrectly and many fewer people have read it. The new one, Fantasy Girl, is actually an older story (partially factual)but a more straightforward sex-fest without my trademark humor. Try them, if you will and let me know what you think. Thanks!
Confused new writer
- Thread starter Barnaby
- Start date
Rumple Foreskin
The AH Patriarch
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2002
- Posts
- 11,109
A Modest Proposal (of sorts)
Barnaby,
You're a lot more likely to get some feedback if you put the URL's to your stories on this post (use cut and paste then edit to place 'em here).
You might also put one of them up for critique on the Story Discussion Circle run by KillerMuffin.
And finally, I noticed this was your first post. When it comes getting critiques and feedback, it's not only more blessed to give than receive, it's more likely to generate critiques of your own writing. You might think abut giving a little feedback to some of the folks here and at SDC who also want to be criiqued.
Rumple Foreskin
Barnaby,
You're a lot more likely to get some feedback if you put the URL's to your stories on this post (use cut and paste then edit to place 'em here).
You might also put one of them up for critique on the Story Discussion Circle run by KillerMuffin.
And finally, I noticed this was your first post. When it comes getting critiques and feedback, it's not only more blessed to give than receive, it's more likely to generate critiques of your own writing. You might think abut giving a little feedback to some of the folks here and at SDC who also want to be criiqued.
Rumple Foreskin
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Whispersecret
Clandestine Sex-pressionist
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2000
- Posts
- 3,089
A lack of feedback and/or votes isn't unusual. Perhaps your hopes were raised because of the positive reaction of your offline supporters. Keep in mind that family and friends don't always feel free to speak their minds about creative work. They may prefer to encourage you in your endeavor, rather than criticise.
As RF said, it's helpful in this forum if you provide a link to your stories to make it as easy as possible for people to read them and comment.
As RF said, it's helpful in this forum if you provide a link to your stories to make it as easy as possible for people to read them and comment.
SilentLady
Virgin
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2002
- Posts
- 17
I am confused too
I have only one story here and 1700+ people have viewed the story but only 19 have voted on it.
Is the voting allowed by all that view the stories or is it just the members here that can vote?
As for using this reply area I am a bit intimadated and need a crash course in using it or I would respond to posts more often. I am still a newbie.
I will hang in there Barnaby and you should too. .
A friend who is at this time studying At UCLA told me that my story was well written and that even though it was a "dirty story" lots of people are out there writing it and making tons of money doing it.
AND. . IF I could figure out how to put the URL for my story in this I would. .
See Love On A Train. .
I have only one story here and 1700+ people have viewed the story but only 19 have voted on it.
Is the voting allowed by all that view the stories or is it just the members here that can vote?
As for using this reply area I am a bit intimadated and need a crash course in using it or I would respond to posts more often. I am still a newbie.
I will hang in there Barnaby and you should too. .
A friend who is at this time studying At UCLA told me that my story was well written and that even though it was a "dirty story" lots of people are out there writing it and making tons of money doing it.
AND. . IF I could figure out how to put the URL for my story in this I would. .
See Love On A Train. .
kristydoll
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2002
- Posts
- 205
Summer Magic
Hi Barnaby
I read "Summer Magic" and thought it a nice little story. You describe their encounter in good detail. A descriptive line I liked was "I lapped at it enthusiastically, delighting in the myriad flavors of her desire." Nice.
I always say this, but it is important. "Show" the reader what is happening instead of "telling" them. It usually makes the story a better read and allows the reader to picture it better. Plus, readers have their own imaginations as well, let them use them.
My only other comment would be...be careful using "humor" in your stories. It is quite fine for a character to be funny or amusing but not always for the narrative voice. It is very tough to do.
Keep writing!
kristy
Hi Barnaby
I read "Summer Magic" and thought it a nice little story. You describe their encounter in good detail. A descriptive line I liked was "I lapped at it enthusiastically, delighting in the myriad flavors of her desire." Nice.
I always say this, but it is important. "Show" the reader what is happening instead of "telling" them. It usually makes the story a better read and allows the reader to picture it better. Plus, readers have their own imaginations as well, let them use them.
My only other comment would be...be careful using "humor" in your stories. It is quite fine for a character to be funny or amusing but not always for the narrative voice. It is very tough to do.
Keep writing!
kristy
ladyphoenix
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2001
- Posts
- 212
Barnaby's work
Dear Barnaby,
I read all three stories. I won't bother with the very few little grammar glitches because you write VERY well. I was aroused, I laughed, and I thanked the literary gods for someone who writes with the intention of being read without the reader having to have their grammar guide at hand.
Dear Barnaby,
I read all three stories. I won't bother with the very few little grammar glitches because you write VERY well. I was aroused, I laughed, and I thanked the literary gods for someone who writes with the intention of being read without the reader having to have their grammar guide at hand.
Wildfire427
Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2002
- Posts
- 39
Barnaby and SilentLady Links
SilentLady's story link-
Love on a Train
Barnaby's story links-
Buzzwords
Can I Have Your Autograph
Summer Magic
SilentLady's story link-
Love on a Train
Barnaby's story links-
Buzzwords
Can I Have Your Autograph
Summer Magic
the_bragis
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2002
- Posts
- 389
Hi Barnaby,
Check FAQ on Lit, or try understanding my version...
(URL=your link)the name of your story(/URL)
Replace the round brackets with the square ones located on the upper right hand corner of your keyboard.
Replace 'your link' with your link. Go to your story's page, cut and paste the url, that is the 'address' in your browser bar.
Replace 'the name of your story' with the name of your story.
Hava a good day now.
Alex(fem)
Check FAQ on Lit, or try understanding my version...
(URL=your link)the name of your story(/URL)
Replace the round brackets with the square ones located on the upper right hand corner of your keyboard.
Replace 'your link' with your link. Go to your story's page, cut and paste the url, that is the 'address' in your browser bar.
Replace 'the name of your story' with the name of your story.
Hava a good day now.
Alex(fem)
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SilentLady
Virgin
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2002
- Posts
- 17
Thanks All Appreciate the Help
I am getting some some of it but not all it will just take practice.
As Much as I try I can't make my link look like it is supposed to with the name of the story underlined. .
Oh well thanks again for the help and I will keep on practising and I will get the hang of it. . One day
and can someone tell me about the signature. . ?
Thanks Barnaby for the rave review. .
I am getting some some of it but not all it will just take practice.
As Much as I try I can't make my link look like it is supposed to with the name of the story underlined. . Oh well thanks again for the help and I will keep on practising and I will get the hang of it. . One day
and can someone tell me about the signature. . ?
Thanks Barnaby for the rave review. .
Wildfire427
Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2002
- Posts
- 39
Link Help
Alex's version is the one I use.
What I do is open your story and then copy the address that shows in the bar (if you are using Internet Explorer) and then follow her guide.
(URL= paste the address here)story name(/URL) with the change of square brackets instead of the ().
Hang in there, it took me two or three times to get it done.
By the way, if you can only open one window at a time, you can copy and paste the address to a word processor file and then go back and copy and past it to your message when you fill it in. Really good for multiple stories.
Alex's version is the one I use.
What I do is open your story and then copy the address that shows in the bar (if you are using Internet Explorer) and then follow her guide.
(URL= paste the address here)story name(/URL) with the change of square brackets instead of the ().
Hang in there, it took me two or three times to get it done.
By the way, if you can only open one window at a time, you can copy and paste the address to a word processor file and then go back and copy and past it to your message when you fill it in. Really good for multiple stories.
Whispersecret
Clandestine Sex-pressionist
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2000
- Posts
- 3,089
Another way to post a link in a bulletin board post:
Click on the "Post Reply" button.
Right below the little menu of icons you'll see where you can assign bold, italic, etc. attributes to your post. Click on the button that says, "http://."
A little window will pop up that prompts you to enter text. If you want your link to say, "Cassie's Tit Fuck," enter that in the box. Click okay.
Another window will pop up. In that window you want to type or paste the URL address of your story. Open your story in a separate window. Highlight the address you see at the top, copy it, and then paste it in the window that popped up. Click okay.
You'll then get something that looks similar to this:
(URL=http://;lkafoienoaieoye)Cassie's Tit Fuck(/URL)
You're done. I always click on Preview Reply to make sure it turned out all right.
Click on the "Post Reply" button.
Right below the little menu of icons you'll see where you can assign bold, italic, etc. attributes to your post. Click on the button that says, "http://."
A little window will pop up that prompts you to enter text. If you want your link to say, "Cassie's Tit Fuck," enter that in the box. Click okay.
Another window will pop up. In that window you want to type or paste the URL address of your story. Open your story in a separate window. Highlight the address you see at the top, copy it, and then paste it in the window that popped up. Click okay.
You'll then get something that looks similar to this:
(URL=http://;lkafoienoaieoye)Cassie's Tit Fuck(/URL)
You're done. I always click on Preview Reply to make sure it turned out all right.
New Story Is Up (Link attempt)
Well,my latest story is up so I thought I'd use that as an excuse to attempt this link thing again. Wish me luck and I hope you all like this one. Thanks,again for the help!Fantasy Girl
Well,my latest story is up so I thought I'd use that as an excuse to attempt this link thing again. Wish me luck and I hope you all like this one. Thanks,again for the help!Fantasy Girl
the_bragis
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2002
- Posts
- 389
Gotta love it!
Hi Barnaby,
I just read 'Buzz Words'. Let me tell you, your friends and family aren't being kind, this story is a little gem!
I loved your dry and quirky sense of fun.
If I hadn't seen your location, I would have to had said you were British. It's that kind of humour. First class.
Oh, I gave it a full five.
Mm... one little glitch I noted, a few comas were missing. Grammar? Well I'm no expert, so I'm not going there, but it looked ok to me.
As for reader responses, well you could try adding a little note to the end of your stories, stating you would appreciate feedback and votes. I have found that to be very helpful.
Have a great day now,
Alex (fem)
Hi Barnaby,
I just read 'Buzz Words'. Let me tell you, your friends and family aren't being kind, this story is a little gem!
I loved your dry and quirky sense of fun.
If I hadn't seen your location, I would have to had said you were British. It's that kind of humour. First class.
Oh, I gave it a full five.
Mm... one little glitch I noted, a few comas were missing. Grammar? Well I'm no expert, so I'm not going there, but it looked ok to me.
As for reader responses, well you could try adding a little note to the end of your stories, stating you would appreciate feedback and votes. I have found that to be very helpful.
Have a great day now,
Alex (fem)
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SilentLady
Virgin
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2002
- Posts
- 17
Well Barnaby I just read your Fantasy Gril and that certainly some fantasy that is for sure. Keep up the good work.
Love On a Train
Don't forget to vote and send feedback. It helps us all You know
Octavian
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2002
- Posts
- 601
Buzzwords
I can only echo the remarks of Alex. It is a gem. I particularly liked the line about brushing up her telephone etiquette!
In my opinion good humour can enhance erotica, and it certainly does here.
__________________________________
I'm terrifically popular. If I had any friends you could ask them.
I can only echo the remarks of Alex. It is a gem. I particularly liked the line about brushing up her telephone etiquette!
In my opinion good humour can enhance erotica, and it certainly does here.
__________________________________
I'm terrifically popular. If I had any friends you could ask them.
M.A.Thompson
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2002
- Posts
- 159
Hello Barnaby. I have been following your post here and decided to give one of your tales a try. Based on the review you received from the_bragis and Octavian, I chose to read Buzzwords.
The story is very good. Cleaver, witty and entertaining, you do a real nice job of fusing the three situations (what your character Shannon is physically doing, what she is fantasizing and finally what she is listening to over the phone) into one cohesive, functioning unit. Not an easy task. I actually would have liked more of this bouncing back and forth; especially when Shannon is listening to Mitchell read his story. I found myself wondering exactally what she was doing and thinking in-between those long paragraphs being read to her. There was only one place where I had to say to myself, “Okay, what is going on here? Is this live, or Memorex?” and that was when Shannon first starts using her vibe and begins fantasizing about Susan and Troy.
I also really enjoyed your unique story line, something I truly appreciate in erotica. It is so easy for many writers here, myself included, to reach for the old sex story cookie cutter and punch out a plotless tale meant only to stir the loins and not the imagination as well. Yours does both. Coincidently, I also have a writer/editor story in the works.
The only real negative I have for you, and this more of a personal thing for me, is that I have a hard time with stories written by men in a feminine first person, and vice versa. Third person would have worked better for me, but like I said, that is just something I have a problem with. I am sure there are others who could care less.
Congrats on a great story. I look forward to reading the rest of them!!!!
The story is very good. Cleaver, witty and entertaining, you do a real nice job of fusing the three situations (what your character Shannon is physically doing, what she is fantasizing and finally what she is listening to over the phone) into one cohesive, functioning unit. Not an easy task. I actually would have liked more of this bouncing back and forth; especially when Shannon is listening to Mitchell read his story. I found myself wondering exactally what she was doing and thinking in-between those long paragraphs being read to her. There was only one place where I had to say to myself, “Okay, what is going on here? Is this live, or Memorex?” and that was when Shannon first starts using her vibe and begins fantasizing about Susan and Troy.
I also really enjoyed your unique story line, something I truly appreciate in erotica. It is so easy for many writers here, myself included, to reach for the old sex story cookie cutter and punch out a plotless tale meant only to stir the loins and not the imagination as well. Yours does both. Coincidently, I also have a writer/editor story in the works.
The only real negative I have for you, and this more of a personal thing for me, is that I have a hard time with stories written by men in a feminine first person, and vice versa. Third person would have worked better for me, but like I said, that is just something I have a problem with. I am sure there are others who could care less.
Congrats on a great story. I look forward to reading the rest of them!!!!
Fantasy Girl
This story went up two days ago and has nearly 3000 openings already! This amazes me as BUZZWORDS has been up a month now and just topped 3000. Is it that EROTIC COUPLINGS is read more often? Is it that pure sex stories with little or no plot are what the overall reading public really wants?It certainly isn't that FANTASY GIRL is a better story as it is really just a rewrite of an old story filling space while I work on MOMENTS IN RARE MOONLIGHT and/or REPEAT, two much more ambitious pieces coming soon. It's hot, in my humble opinion, but its not that good. I greatly appreciate both the comments and the criticisms I have now received on my other stories. Check the link to this one above. Comments please?
This story went up two days ago and has nearly 3000 openings already! This amazes me as BUZZWORDS has been up a month now and just topped 3000. Is it that EROTIC COUPLINGS is read more often? Is it that pure sex stories with little or no plot are what the overall reading public really wants?It certainly isn't that FANTASY GIRL is a better story as it is really just a rewrite of an old story filling space while I work on MOMENTS IN RARE MOONLIGHT and/or REPEAT, two much more ambitious pieces coming soon. It's hot, in my humble opinion, but its not that good. I greatly appreciate both the comments and the criticisms I have now received on my other stories. Check the link to this one above. Comments please?
Rare Moonlight-Comments?
Okay, below is a link to my latest. It was a concerted attempt to do something a bit more romantic, both in style and subject matter. I think it only worked up to a point. That's why its a lot shorter than originally planned. Hey, I'm experimenting here. Still, its fascinating to watch how these things go. FANTASY GIRL now has nearly twice the openings (and ,in theory, readers) of BUZZWORDS, which I still consider my best story to date. Their votes are nearly equal. Does the Literotica public at large want well-written (I hope) material or just wham-bam...? Again, I'm not writing for the obviously quite diverse crowd. I'm writing for me. The votes and the readership don't matter to me as much as the fact that I'm writing again and I'm enjoying it. Still, feedback, please?Rare Moonlight
Okay, below is a link to my latest. It was a concerted attempt to do something a bit more romantic, both in style and subject matter. I think it only worked up to a point. That's why its a lot shorter than originally planned. Hey, I'm experimenting here. Still, its fascinating to watch how these things go. FANTASY GIRL now has nearly twice the openings (and ,in theory, readers) of BUZZWORDS, which I still consider my best story to date. Their votes are nearly equal. Does the Literotica public at large want well-written (I hope) material or just wham-bam...? Again, I'm not writing for the obviously quite diverse crowd. I'm writing for me. The votes and the readership don't matter to me as much as the fact that I'm writing again and I'm enjoying it. Still, feedback, please?Rare Moonlight
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