confused and wanting to come out!

[hs9in]

I am a 22 soon to be 23 year old male. I have never been with a man. I've only ever been with one partner. I love to cross dress. I love anal sex, being penetrated. I tried coming out once and it went very poorly and I stuffed this all down. Now I am in a healthy relationship with a wonderful women. She loves my dressing and fucking me in the ass with a strap-on. But now I want to come out in full, go out into public in a dress and such but I am scared. I am confused. I don't fell like a women, I don't even care to look like a woman though I do stride for a certain effeminate design: thin, in shape, tall and sexy. But I have some facial hair and enjoy looking somewhat masculine as well. I want a balance between my male and female sides. I want to become comfortable expressing this outside of my bedroom. My friends who are ok with it who already know. Well at least about the X-dressing part. But my family wont be as accepting.

I would like some advice. But I don't know what advice I'm looking for. I guess just some words of wisdom.

I think I need a friend who understands this situation.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You are not alone.

And, you are not a transsexual; you may enjoy transvestism, but you sound to me more like an androgyne-- someone who has parts of both sexes in their psyche.
Lauras-playground.com has a lot of resources for queers of all kinds, I go to the chat rooms there a lot. Check out her crossdressing forums and this one; http://www.lauras-playground.com/androgyny.htm

See if that fits you.
Unfortunately, families often totally suck when they are faced with a queer child/sibling. There's just so much baggage! Some of us solve this by creating new families for ourselves, out of people who are on the same path as we are-- not always the most succesful solution. You might think about how much your family really needs to know; do you need to wear a dress to the Thanksgiving dinner? Birthdays are always tough, balancing your queer friends with family. Sometimes it's best to have double parties, one for the folks and the other for your friends...

 

[hs9in]

Thank you for the link. And no I don't need to wear a dress to thanksgiving but some of my family will have to find out. I just don't know how to let them know.