Confidence and Courage

[NCShin]

If there is anything that I read on this board over and over it's a few opinions about a person's partner. The general theme is that submissives, whether male or female generally see their dominant partner as confident. While dominants usually see their partner as courageous.

I guess first thing would be to confirm what *I* see. IS that in fact a common theme in your relationship or at least in what you see posted here?

The next thing would be where does it come from for you? If you are a PYL where does your confidence come from? If you're a pyl where does your courage come from?

How much for you is fed off the other? In other words as a PYL how much of your confidence in a scene stems directly from your partner's courage? As a pyl how much of your courage is derived directly from your partner's confidence?

 

[A Desert Rose]

I think this is a good thread idea and I will probably post to it... maybe, sometime. But someone will likely say what I want to and say it better than I can.

I would like to say that AA needs to copyright this PYL/pyl stuff. He needs some royalties off this deal or something.

 

[NCShin]

hehe..yeah, but a very general term like that often makes things easier and no one can be offended or pissy about it

 

[A Desert Rose]

I guess... for some.

Confidence is inherent in a dominant personality. They are natural leaders and attract people to them because of their "take charge" attitude. Most Doms (and pardon me, but AA knows I don't use his thingy) are happy in their skins and that shows to all. Most people like to be around others who are happy and comfortable and value themselves and their self worth.

I know for sure, I do.

 

[RJMasters]

What a great thread!

NCShin,

Fantastic thread.

I would tend to agree that I see this as well.

dominant partner as confident
partner as courageous

My confidence comes from a few places. First off, I have my beliefs in God and teachings about doing to others as I would like done to me. Treat others as I would like to be treated. You get the idea. Why I get confidence from that, is because I know if I live my life by those kinds of truths, my future will always hold great promise regardless of circumstances.

Secondly it comes from knowledge & experience(stressing experience). Nothing beats the school of hard knocks or proven victories time and again. If I am not sure about something I can muddle my way through it, but I would always prefer to have knowledge about something and better yet to have knowledge that is built on expereinces.

Third - This is an awesome observation on your part and I really had to stop and think about this. I think when trying something "new" I am much more confident if I know my partner knows what were are doing and is excited to try it together.

However I tend to rely upon my own knowledge and experience for things. Example: If I know my partner is not exuding courage about something, if I have the expereince and knowledge, my partner's lack of courage will not effect my own confidence as I know what I know to be true. I know she will be safe and my knowledge of her threshholds and in what I am doing gives me the ability to be confident.

I will take into account the fear factor in a situation like this and may take extra steps to help overcome any fear. Often the biggest way is to show that I am confident and in control. It is then when my partner can let go, as its more of a trusting in me and a track record of love and caring.

I just wanted to add one more comment. A dominant needs to be a leader(what Rose said). They need to be confident in who they are and where they are going.

I think that one of the things that amazes me the most is the courage to trust in another human being at the beginning of a new relationship, since it is known that human beings are going to make mistakes. I am thankful that romance is there at the beginning of new relationship to kinda shield us from the gravity of what we are doing(some will get it others won't...moving on) However as a track record of trust and love is developed, I see courage not being so much of a factor as trusting is. The stronger the trust is, the less need there is to rely on courage. At least thats how I kinda see it.


Great thread thanks

NCShin

 

[RJMasters]

Most people like to be around others who are happy and comfortable and value themselves and their self worth.

I know for sure, I do.

Now I know why I like you so much

Who wuda thunk it to be true?

 

[Netzach]

I had to fight hard and work hard to get every shred of my confidence back from my family.

We don't always get through life walking with heads up and with minions falling in line from the get go, I'd like to dispel that myth.

People come to me for advice and listening and always have. I gained my confidence the more people put their trust and faith in me.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Now I know why I like you so much

Who wuda thunk it to be true?

I just wish someone would laugh at my new AV, sig line and location. I think it's pretty damned funny myself. LOL

 

[Quint]

Ehh. I think confidence is a by-product of courage. It takes courage for me to travel down paths-of-more-than-least-resistance and when I discover hey, I can do that, I become confident in myself. Every time T pulls some new wacky stunt on my ass, I think "wow, he's so cool," because I only see the end result. I don't see the fear, the doubt, the planning, and the resolve to go ahead despite those hesitations...so I don't always give credit to the courage that made those acts possible.

 

[RJMasters]

Ehh. I think confidence is a by-product of courage. It takes courage for me to travel down paths-of-more-than-least-resistance and when I discover hey, I can do that, I become confident in myself. Every time T pulls some new wacky stunt on my ass, I think "wow, he's so cool," because I only see the end result. I don't see the fear, the doubt, the planning, and the resolve to go ahead despite those hesitations...so I don't always give credit to the courage that made those acts possible.

[hijack]
I LIKE SWORDS!!!

(if your AV comes from 8-bit, if not forget you seen this post as it has no signifigance except to me.)
[/hijack]

 

[RJMasters]

I just wish someone would laugh at my new AV, sig line and location. I think it's pretty damned funny myself. LOL

I noticed the AV but didn't see the tag line.

GAWD you got a beautifully twisted mind! Scarred for life and L-O-V-I-N-G I-T!!!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I noticed the AV but didn't see the tag line.

GAWD you got a beautifully twisted mind! Scarred for life and L-O-V-I-N-G I-T!!!

You were close, RJ, but didn't quite hit the mark... her mind is warped, not twisted... Warp Factor 9, I believe, Mr. Sulu!

I also noticed the AV but missed the tag line... guess some of us PYLs aren't as observant as we think we are!

 

[Quint]

[hijack]
I LIKE SWORDS!!!

(if your AV comes from 8-bit, if not forget you seen this post as it has no signifigance except to me.)
[/hijack]

You are so fucking cool.

Just don't offer to show me your Two Fisted Monkey Style technique.

 

[m wisdom]

[hijack]

Since there seems to be an ongoing rambling here about AV's, I put up a new one I created today when I was bored. It's from one of my fantasies, staring me and Snowwhite

[/hijack]

 

[TigerClaw]

My confidence was built from the life of Hard Knocks.

Life can tear you down or build you up. The most constructive times have come just after the worst of times. Confidence has also come from knowing what it is that I want and dont want. That came with time and experience.

I dont know if I would say courageous. But The willingness to please and extremes are awesome. D/s is a very powerful combination.

 

[FungiUg]

People come to me for advice and listening and always have. I gained my confidence the more people put their trust and faith in me.

Isn't that just so weird? People do that to me too. I have no idea why -- I don't particularly think of myself as the fount of all wisdom or anything. I am a problem solver, sure. Maybe that's it? Anyway, I often think I must have this big neon sign flashing over my head saying "free relationship counselling here!"

I don't particularly view myself as lacking in courage, but I certainly have confidence. To the point where I sometimes think I am arrogant (not such a good thing.)

 

[A Desert Rose]

I noticed the AV but didn't see the tag line.

GAWD you got a beautifully twisted mind! Scarred for life and L-O-V-I-N-G I-T!!!

And you thought... what a real goofball...
LOL

You were close, RJ, but didn't quite hit the mark... her mind is warped, not twisted... Warp Factor 9, I believe, Mr. Sulu!

I also noticed the AV but missed the tag line... guess some of us PYLs aren't as observant as we think we are!

Who has more confidence or courage than Capt. Kirk... I ask you?

 

[FungiUg]

Who has more confidence or courage than Capt. Kirk... I ask you?

Any of the multitudinous women he slept with? I mean, who knows what kind of wierd bugs that guy could have picked up...

 

[Kajira Callista]

And you thought... what a real goofball...
LOL



Who has more confidence or courage than Capt. Kirk... I ask you?

cap'n kirk is hot!

 

[TigerClaw]

Who has more confidence or courage than Capt. Kirk... I ask you?

Captain Dillon Hunt !!!


Better Yet, Andromeda......... Damn, my tail is twitching.

 

[TigerClaw]

Any of the multitudinous women he slept with? I mean, who knows what kind of wierd bugs that guy could have picked up...

Just because something is alien doesnt mean it is weird. Now, please, refrain from such stereotyping.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Captain Dillon Hunt !!!

Who is that?

 

[TigerClaw]

Who is that?

That is the series by Majel Roddenberry (Cant remember her maiden name, Barret???) Gene's Wife. Andromeda is the series name.

 

[A Desert Rose]

That is the series by Majel Roddenberry (Cant remember her maiden name, Barret???) Gene's Wife. Andromeda is the series name.

Ah well... thank you for that new information. ;-)

I love Lit... what you just don't learn here.

And yes KC, Kirk is soooo real hot!

 

[TigerClaw]

Ah well... thank you for that new information. ;-)

I love Lit... what you just don't learn here.

And yes KC, Kirk is soooo real hot!

Oooh that is so typically female, : ) ~