Condom Conundrum

[Rybka]

Did any of you see this Literotica news story today? Four women sue Irvine restaurant after one says she found condom in her chowder - Associated Press

This story immediately made me remember Shirley Temple's famous song. I have posted the words directly below.
The challenge is to read the news story and adapt it to the words and meter of the song. I have started at the end of this missive and invite you to add a verse, or start anew and roll your own.

Animal crackers in my Soup

Once my Mother said
My little pet
you ought to learn your alphabet
So in my soup I used to get
All the letters of the alphabet
I learned them all from A to Z
And now my Mothers giving me
------
Animal crackers in my soup
Monkeys and rabbits loop the loop
Gosh oh gee but I have fun
Swallowing animals one by one

In every bowl of soup I see
Lions and Tigers watching me
I make 'em jump right through a hoop
Those animal crackers in my soup

When I get hold of the big bad wolf
I just push him under to drown
Then I bite him in a million bits
And I gobble him right down

When they're inside me where its dark
I walk around like Noah's Arc
I stuff my tummy like a goop
With animal crackers in my soup

Animal crackers in my soup
Do funny things to me
They make me think my neighborhood
Is a big menagerie

For instance there's our Janitor
His name is Mr Klein
And when he Hollers at us kids
He reminds me of a Lion

The Grocer is so big and fat
He has a big moustache
He looks just like a Walrus
Just before he takes a splash

Used-up Condoms in My Soup

Once a waiter said
With some verve
Be happy with what you're served
I like my chowder nice and hot
Bubbling and steaming from the pot
I hate cold chowder you must see
But now my waiter's giving me
------
Used up condoms in my chowder
makes me holler loud and louder
Not some pretty moister oyster
Just some monk's sleeve from a cloister.



Next???

 

[Guest]

Unfurled Trojan in my soup
Floating in a pallid loop
Now a question does occur.
What exactly was used to stir?


Best I can do with out having an accident.

 

[Angeline]

Customer: Say waiter? There's a condom in my soup.
Waiter: It's today's special: Rubber Chicken Noodle.

Sign seen in restaurant window:

We practice safe soup.



leaving quick before the tomatoes and rotten eggs start flying

 

[champagne1982]

Unfurled Trojan in my soup
Floating in a pallid loop
Now a question does occur.
What exactly was used to stir?

When I get hold of the soup de jour
I check out what's floating round
Then I avoid the rubbery bits
Wond'ring if my clams are condom bound.

 

[Angeline]

When I get hold of the soup de jour
I check out what's floating round
Then I avoid the rubbery bits
Wond'ring if my clams are condom bound.

LOL!

I'm thinking new breakfast cereal--

not Alpha-bits....

oh never mind.

this thread brings out the worst--and stupidest--in me!