Concerned Member of the Comment Committee

[WickedEve]

Comments are down. We all know that feedback is better than votes, don't we? Well, I've noticed lately that many of us don't have much to say when it comes to public comments. I know it's that busy holiday time of year, but don't we still have time to read a poem or two and make a comment?

Well, here's what we're going to do. This is going to be the comment thread. Whenever you see a great comment on any poem, post it here. And if you want your great comment here, then you need to go out and make one.

Here's a great comment from anna on Liar's poem To Be An Envelope
beauty in function
12/01/04 by annaswirls
to be an envelope

thank you for this example of what to me is the most important component of poetry, taking something that everyone sees and thinking what no one has thought-- Einstein's definition of genius, my definition of a poet... to take those thoughts and lay them out clearly, accessible, beautifully.


Okay, go make some comments, read poetry, see what others are saying, etc. Do it now before I come up with another lame idea!

 

[Tathagata]

your vibrator really is broken isn't it??

 

[WickedEve]

your vibrator really is broken isn't it??

 

[Cerriwiden]

Comments are down. We all know that feedback is better than votes, don't we? Well, I've noticed lately that many of us don't have much to say when it comes to public comments. I know it's that busy holiday time of year, but don't we still have time to read a poem or two and make a comment?

Well, here's what we're going to do. This is going to be the comment thread. Whenever you see a great comment on any poem, post it here. And if you want your great comment here, then you need to go out and make one.

Here's a great comment from anna on Liar's poem To Be An Envelope
beauty in function
12/01/04 by annaswirls
to be an envelope

thank you for this example of what to me is the most important component of poetry, taking something that everyone sees and thinking what no one has thought-- Einstein's definition of genius, my definition of a poet... to take those thoughts and lay them out clearly, accessible, beautifully.


Okay, go make some comments, read poetry, see what others are saying, etc. Do it now before I come up with another lame idea!

When I saw the thread title, I thought you were going to post that other comment. You know which one.

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Re: Concerned Member of the Comment Committee

When I saw the thread title, I thought you were going to post that other comment. You know which one.

The one I sent you? Well, it was, you know, funny.

 

[Liar]

Re: Re: Concerned Member of the Comment Committee

When I saw the thread title, I thought you were going to post that other comment. You know which one.

Well I don't. And now I'm intrigued...

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Re: Re: Concerned Member of the Comment Committee

Well I don't. And now I'm intrigued...

I sent you a PM. I won't mention the poem or comment here since I found both laughable. The comment, when connected to this poem, is just priceless. Though, I'm sure the reader found the poem totally penetrating.

 

[HomerPindar]

Oh, yeah...sure...this will just sit quietly now...no problem...uh huh

(checks PM's for further explinations)

uh-huh, oh yeah...this won't get around at all...nope...

(checks again)



(Although I am glad to hear there is no such committee. Right?)

HomerPindar

 

[WickedEve]

Oh, yeah...sure...this will just sit quietly now...no problem...uh huh

(checks PM's for further explinations)

uh-huh, oh yeah...this won't get around at all...nope...

(checks again)



(Although I am glad to hear there is no such committee. Right?)

HomerPindar

The committtee is a secret. Stop talking about it before everyone wants to join. There just isn't enough dip or dildos to go around.

 

[average gina]

The committtee is a secret. Stop talking about it before everyone wants to join. There just isn't enough dip or dildos to go around.

Now the obvious question is this: not enough dip or not enough dildos? The answer is critical to my decision of being a part of the committee.

... and whether I should buy chips or lube.

 

[WickedEve]

Now the obvious question is this: not enough dip or not enough dildos? The answer is critical to my decision of being a part of the committee.

... and whether I should buy chips or lube.

We need chips and lube. Bring them both and you're in--in deep. ha hee hee wink wink

 

[twelveoone]

We need chips and lube. Bring them both and you're in--in deep. ha hee hee wink wink

You are something else, even your own "serious" thread.
I shall go look for some of the serious comments you left on me, Oh yeah, they all say the same thing "You're Insane". You taking orders for the WickedEve poem a day, illustrated by Gahan Wilson, thing yet?

 

[Reltne]

The committtee is a secret. Stop talking about it before everyone wants to join. There just isn't enough dip or dildos to go around.

Why don't you stop dipping dildos and get your website up and fu(n/c)ktional?

You ain't wicked, yer just Lazy!

 

[WickedEve]

Why don't you stop dipping dildos and get your website up and fu(n/c)ktional?

You ain't wicked, yer just Lazy!

I'm not lazy. I'm a single mom--who owns many many sex toys that need attention!

 

[WickedEve]

You are something else, even your own "serious" thread.
I shall go look for some of the serious comments you left on me, Oh yeah, they all say the same thing "You're Insane". You taking orders for the WickedEve poem a day, illustrated by Gahan Wilson, thing yet?

Come on... someone post a real comment so I don't look silly for starting this thread. I'm not silly. Stop looking at me like I'm silly!

 

[annaswirls]

Maria has a way of pointing out things about other people's poetry that make me say YES that is what I like about this one! I wentn back and re-wrote three of my poems after reading her review of Neonurotic's poem a few days ago:

Maria2534 (i made up the numbers, sorry )

Button-Fly Prison by neonurotic. Here is a poem, by a poet, who consistently shows me what he wants me to see, he doesn't just tell me what he thinks I should know. Note to newer poets here, less I, me, she, he they, did this or that or the other, ( I am also guilty of this) but use action words, verbs, I think they are called, to get your message across. The first stanza of neo's poem is short, but speaks, it doesnt whisper,it shows, good work, neo

his poem:
Button-fly prison
by neonurotic ©
http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=173779

Fingers ride the top edge
back and forth
across worn
bleached-out denim

Dip down into
the skin side

slack-jawed
cotton mouth

This is c r a z y

thumbs open
a button-fly prison



His poem with the I's etc. ie me RUINING THE POEM for the sake of the point Maria has astutely made. Excellent observation


Button-fly prison
ruined by annaswirls


My fingers ride the top edge
back and forth
across my worn
bleached-out denim jeans

They dip down into
the skin side

my jaw is slacked
and I have a cotton mouth.


This is c r a z y
I say to myself

My thumbs open
a button-fly prison

 

[WickedEve]

Maria has a way of pointing out things about other people's poetry that make me say YES that is what I like about this one! I wentn back and re-wrote three of my poems after reading her review of Neonurotic's poem a few days ago:

Maria2534 (i made up the numbers, sorry )



his poem:
Button-fly prison
by neonurotic ©
http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=173779

Fingers ride the top edge
back and forth
across worn
bleached-out denim

Dip down into
the skin side

slack-jawed
cotton mouth

This is c r a z y

thumbs open
a button-fly prison



His poem with the I's etc. ie me RUINING THE POEM for the sake of the point Maria has astutely made. Excellent observation


Button-fly prison
ruined by annaswirls


My fingers ride the top edge
back and forth
across my worn
bleached-out denim jeans

They dip down into
the skin side

my jaw is slacked
and I have a cotton mouth.


This is c r a z y
I say to myself

My thumbs open
a button-fly prison

Bravo! I'm glad you gave this example of the "ruined" version. Many times, I'll write a ruined version, and usually, I'll go back and edit out the unnecessary Is and me and all those needless creatures.

 

[The_Fool]

Hey!!!!

Let's have fun with a YDD comment. This one was on mine...

Red Wine

His Comment:

Spotting wine drops
04/11/04 By: YDD
A chilling denouement at room temperature.
Next step stocking stalking.


My response:

Seams

His comment to my response:

a literate fool
04/13/04 by YDD
A fun quick read; a tongue roller.
I adore alliteration (in moderate measure).









You're welcome


I R such a FOOOOOOL!!!

 

[WickedEve]

This is my favorite. It's so full of passion!
To Prattle with Madness
This is bad bad
02/22/04 by Anonymous in canada
Where the hell did you learn to write. It sure wasn't in school was it. Your lucky I gave you a two. Not good for your score is it.
JB

Not the most constructive feedback, but my poem did elicit a powerful (ignorant) response.

 

[annaswirls]

Do You Call
01/29/04 by Anonymous in Florida
This Poetry???
JRC

Doggy

 

[WickedEve]

Do You Call
01/29/04 by Anonymous in Florida
This Poetry???
JRC

Doggy

Well, that's not necessarily an insult. Maybe JRC has never seen a poem before, and he was curious if this was indeed one.
Hey, I wonder if your JC is related to my JB...

 

[annaswirls]

This is my favorite. It's so full of passion!
To Prattle with Madness
This is bad bad
02/22/04 by Anonymous in canada
Where the hell did you learn to write. It sure wasn't in school was it. Your lucky I gave you a two. Not good for your score is it.
JB

Not the most constructive feedback, but my poem did elicit a powerful (ignorant) response.

HEY I got an Anon from Canada too back in Feb. I think it said the same thing. This is bad, bad bad.

I think I know JB, don't think she has been around in the open.

Not that good
01/29/04 by Anonymous in Ontario Quebec
This is really Bad bad bad.

Borders Books

gosh why didn't she whack us with a newspaper?

okay I gotta get out of here and get something done damn it.

 

[Cordelia]

Here was one I thought was interesting...

Diminish

Friends only support
05/22/04 by Anonymous
Apparently it's your friends giving you rave reviews.

And then he gave me a 25 on the thermometer... hmmm...


Then there was my favorite and most succint critic...

still life on stairwell

Yawn
03/20/04 by Anonymous
Yawn


Heh. I treasure that one. They were thoughtful enough to take time to type it out...



Cordelia

 

[annaswirls]

oh my Cordelia! I alway miss these! Good thread idea Eve. Okay I got another one (I swear I was working I swear I was)

This is a compliment.
I am working on rewriting this and looked over the comments. I still dont think it is very understandable


carved wood

I don't really understand this,
09/22/04 by sandspike
but the read is smooth and it looks damn good on paper.
I'll take my ideas on this and run them thru my mind
today.

 

[HomerPindar]

First off, Cordelia, I remembered still life on stairway, went back to check my memory and yep I was right - it is amazing (as your other comments note )

Here's one for your collection:

if only
i love it. i just wish you had spell and grammar-checked it.

thank you for a thrusting image. thank you for a tinkly laugh.

bergron says good.[ read more]

It's from my poem ...Dead Poets. Bring out your Dead Poets. Bring out... and for the record there are no typos, misspelling or mistakes in my delivery. But then, I'm just the author, what do I know?