Competent Writing.

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Last night I read a chapter from a medical book and noticed that my mind kept drifting away from the text until I came upon a paragraph that sucked me in. What was the difference?

Studying it for a few minutes I saw how the interesting paragraph was constructed of concrete nouns and active verbs, the other was full of abstractions, gerunds, verbals, and nominalizations. To wit:

BETTER:

"The doctor, Etienne Marey, inserted a catheter into the horse's circulatory system at the jugular vein, guiding it until the tip, equipped with a balloon, was positioned inside the right ventricle."

BAD:

"The horse didnt suffer any problems and neither did the many other animals that underwent the same procedure. The research, though never quite forgotten, was generally regarded as a mere oddity."

 

[amicus]

Dear James: "..Studying it for a few minutes I saw how the interesting paragraph was constructed of concrete nouns and active verbs, the other was full of abstractions, gerunds, verbals, and nominalizations. To wit:..."

~~~

Like most, I have long forgotten high school grammar and english rules; I do remember that the word, 'gerund', gave me indigestion at the mere sight of it.

I try to put together complete sentences and thoughts here on the forum, but in my fiction, I let the characters do the talking in a manner that reflects their educational status and even in third person narrative, I stay away from trying to influence my readers of my vocabulary with multi-syllable words and esoteric conceptualizations.

Medical, or, Veterinarian lingo, is by nature more technical than usual language, but then that holds true for all the professions, does it not?

By the way, you probably know that the current usage of the word, 'Vet', as in to 'Vet' the history of a candidate, comes from a contraction of the word Veterinarian...or did you?

Ami

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

AMICRITTER

News to me!

Yes, technical writing isnt fiction, but the principles about abstracts hold for both. I just read a blurb by Jonas Salk who confirmed that scientists often write to confuse the lay public and escape lawmaker scrutiny. At any rate, non-fiction aimed at the general public needs to be interesting.

 

[Loring2]

AMICRITTER

News to me!

Yes, technical writing isnt fiction, but the principles about abstracts hold for both. I just read a blurb by Jonas Salk who confirmed that scientists often write to confuse the lay public and escape lawmaker scrutiny. At any rate, non-fiction aimed at the general public needs to be interesting.

I agree with you James but a large part of non-fiction material is written by people who would rather go to the dentist than write what you, the public, read.

It isn't a matter or competence in their own field it's that they don't write well.

The solution might be to hire a writer but that doesn't always turn out the way you'd like either.

The problem with abstracts in high-tech writing is their accuracy.

 

[Burnt_Feathers]

By the way, you probably know that the current usage of the word, 'Vet', as in to 'Vet' the history of a candidate, comes from a contraction of the word Veterinarian...or did you?
Ami

They must have been vetting a dark horse candidate.

 

[wet_special]

Nice application of grammatical rules. I also missed the day they taught grammar in school. My mind was elsewhere, my body coulda been there I don't remember.

Nevertheless I have acquired some grammatical knowledge. What I learned is, what you describe could simply be put as the difference between active voice and passive voice. And yes, using active voice is key to making your writing interesting and worthwhile. Love the example and explanations. You could expound on it further.

 

[amicus]

They must have been vetting a dark horse candidate.

~~~

Thas cute! Thanks and welcome to the Author's Hangout where all exchanges of thoughts are solicited.

Amicus

 

[Lady_Artemis]

As one who writes both fiction and nonfiction (doctoral candidate...yes, I write those technical abstracts), I can say that today abstracts aren't written for the purpose of confusing the public. It's simply a case of audience. When I write a technical abstract, my audience is academics in the same field; they understand the lingo and would find my paper in a search based on such terms. By contrast, when I write fiction (whether it be here on Lit, on other websites, or in my published novels), I write for the general reader.

Honestly, if I wrote some of the technical papers I contribute to for the general public, the papers would be at least twice as long. The use of lingo (and the assumptions that can be made based on the same audience) allows much of the explanatory text to be left out.

The same principle applies here on Lit. If I write, "She looked at his head" here, very few would think I mean that rock that sits on top of the neck. So I can use that assumption and go with it.