Compelling reasons not to bludgeon my roommate . . .

[Graymouse]

I'm hoping someone can give me one; I'm fresh out. She eats my steak, drinks all my Coke, commandeers the washer and dryer for three straight days, gets pissed whenever I use the phone, and bitches when I use a teaspoon of her fabric softner. It's not looking good--I'm running out of constructive outlest for my anger. Please share with me your stories of group living nightmares so I don't feel so alone . . .

 

[modest mouse]

Lay a tarp out on the floor before you get started. That eliminates the only reason I could offer, the mess. Remember to use plenty of Lye on the body if you cant bury it immediately.

 

[Azwed]

One of my good friends lived with some new girls this semester. They threw a christmas dinner/party and did not invite her. Now thats bad.

 

[Moridin187]

Well.. I can't give you any stories of group living really...

But, I can give you a good reason not to bludgeon her.

It's too messy, too hard to do accurately, and too easy to get caught.

If you're going to kill someone, you have to plan it out. First you put a plastic bag over her face while she's sleeping and smother her. Lay down plastic neatly all over a room (make sure there are NO gaps for even a TINY trace of blood residue to get through) and cut her up (NO ELECTRIC SAWS! NOISE!) into manageable pieces. On a dark night, dress in her clothes and wear a wig, look as much like her as you can, pack up her body into her luggage and put it into the trunk of her car. Drive the car as far away as you possibly can (hopefully to a place where you've stashed your own vehicle) and bury it. (nobody Ever looks for buried cars. This is hard to do, so it takes a lot of preparation) Also get rid of any clothes you were wearing during the killing.

Not 100% foolproof, but it works. Just tell the cops you came home one night and she wasn't there and all of her stuff was packed up.


Good hunting!