Communicating sexual/fetish interest secretly

[HornyHal]

I have been thinking for some time but can't find anything on the internet.
Is there a way to secretly advertise that you are in to a certain fetish, or that you're sexually interested in a stranger and want to convey that without blatantly blurting it out.
For instance let's say in my line of work I interact with a large number of people and let's say that I come across an attractive female and and I want to throw it out there that I would be down for a discreet (fill in the blank) but I don't want to be socially inappropriate so I tell a quick innocuous story or phrase like "have you ever heard how cats will do a back flip when a blue plane flys by?" If she is in the know and interested she would signal me in some affirmative fashion and then we'll go off and do (fill in the blank), or if she is not in the know or not interested she will react as confused due to the out of left field nature of the statement/story/question and then no harm no foul socially and we both go our separate ways.

I have heard of gay guys having certain bandannas hanging out of their back pockets to signify their interests for availability. I might be dating myself with that but didn't know if something like that exist in the straight world.
Does something like this exist or am I inventing a new means of fetish code speak?

Please feel free to comment with any experiences or insight.

 

[Nezhul]

simply: no.

Be honest and be upfront. Otherwise you are just confusing people, or in case they have understood you - that meant that
a) you were explicit enough
b) you are coming along as a loser with no self confidence to be upfront about it.

Also, you DO understand that people into fetishes have exactly the same brains and social interaction patterns as everybody else? There's no secret code, no spider sense or stuff.

You wanna pick up a girl? Learn to do it. Wouldn't recommend doing it with work colleagues though.

 

[IceyBlue]

Is there a way to secretly advertise that you are in to a certain fetish, or that you're sexually interested in a stranger and want to convey that without blatantly blurting it out.

For instance let's say in my line of work I interact with a large number of people and let's say that I come across an attractive female and and I want to throw it out there that I would be down for a discreet......

I think you mean discrete, not secret. If it was secret nobody would respond.

Nonetheless, eye contact, the norm is for someone to very quickly look away when eye contact is made, don't, hold the eye contact and smile. If they respond in kind you're halfway there.

 

[jsawnlim]

The only thing that I can think is that an anklet supposedly signals that a woman is a hotwife.

https://www.elitereaders.com/shocking-symbolism-anklets-secret-meaning-hot-wife/

"Although many women these days may think of the anklet is just a mere trinket, it is actually a widely recognized symbol that a woman is married or committed yet available to other men for sexual activity with the husband's consent and encouragement."

Honestly, I'm a little skeptical of that claim and I'm sure there some women who do this. Simultaneously, I'm sure there are plenty of women who wear anklets yet are not hotwives, so at the end of the day, you'll need to ask explicitly.

 

[HornyHal]

Thank you for the responses and please keep them coming.

Nezhul, I think you're misunderstanding, I'm not trying to pick up on a lady as one would at a bar, what I am referring to is to discretely inquire about her interest in more perverted/taboo/not so socially normal things.

IceyBlue yes you're right I do mean discrete thank you.

Jsawnlim is on the right track.

Another example however it is highly specific. I have seen white women (snow bunnies) who are in to being dominated by black guys will have a black spade either tattooed or on some form of jewelry to signify that they are a part of that lifestyle.

 

[MistressMoira]

Well, I would miss all the signals. Perhaps even give off the wrong signals.

Although when people visit my home and see the chains above the bed, the tie points on the bed and on the wall and the paddles etc, they might have a clue.

 

[HornyHal]

Well, I would miss all the signals. Perhaps even give off the wrong signals.

Although when people visit my home and see the chains above the bed, the tie points on the bed and on the wall and the paddles etc, they might have a clue.

Lol well yeah, I'm more saying like I'm a ups guy at your door and you want to give me a signal without being obvious. Just in case I recoil in disgust and pull my bible out and clutch it to my heart.

 

[littlecordelera]

Is there a way to secretly advertise that you are in to a certain fetish, or that you're sexually interested in a stranger and want to convey that without blatantly blurting it out.

You bet there is!

It's called "dating," and it's all the rage!

Seriously. That's what dating is for. No woman wants to hook up with you just because you share one common interest.

 

[HornyHal]

I'm glad to hear that my idea to keep my kinky side a secret in real life is well planned because the one place I feel like I can let it out a bit is easy with the making me feel like an idiot for trying to come up with what I thought was an interesting thread topic.

 

[Nezhul]

The only thing that I can think is that an anklet supposedly signals that a woman is a hotwife.

... and is total bullshit because an anklet is just jewelry.

Hey, I heard wearing blue shirts means a guy is a gay!

Nezhul, I think you're misunderstanding, I'm not trying to pick up on a lady as one would at a bar, what I am referring to is to discretely inquire about her interest in more perverted/taboo/not so socially normal things.

Ask her on a date, then openly breach the topic that you are looking for someone specific, but that doesn't mean you need it right now right away. If she's interested - she'll continue dating. If she's not - then she'll turn you down, and you both go your eparate ways, no hard feelings, no time wasted.

 

[HornyHal]

... and is total bullshit because an anklet is just jewelry.

Hey, I heard wearing blue shirts means a guy is a gay!

Ask her on a date, then openly breach the topic that you are looking for someone specific, but that doesn't mean you need it right now right away. If she's interested - she'll continue dating. If she's not - then she'll turn you down, and you both go your eparate ways, no hard feelings, no time wasted.

I agree with that, I guess I was looking to start a more imaginative thread, I don't think I was looking for the more literal obvious answer.

Don't you think it would be exciting though, that if you were going on in your daily life and someone recited the "code phrase" to you? It would be like exposing a wild erotic secret to a room full of people and only the two of you would actually know what was going on. I find that incredibly exciting.

I do sincerely thank you for your effort. I'm sorry for my bitchy comment on #9 there.

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

This is (seriously!) SUCH a complicated question, HornyHal.

There are all kinds of gratuitous answers - and people often spin these out for whatever reason, but they are less than helpful.

You see, unless someone is unhealthily obsessed, then they have so many facets to their life - a kink is only one element of all that they are, and it will not necessarily occupy the parts of their life to do with economics, to do with food, to do with other forms of entertainment, to do with um, study, i dunno - all the other things that people interest themselves with.

And so, even if there ARE 'secretive signals' that are available in some circles, this doesn't 'necessarily' imply that any particular individual will walk out with any other virtual stranger individual and have an 'assignation,' as they say. They might, but there is no special guarantee.

Secondly, as far as let's say the known-about range of kinks and 'lifestyle' specialized sexuality pursuits, these already have groups of people who gather informally around various websites, or 'functions' or organised activities - and consequently it is merely a case of getting INTO that group in the first instance, and you will soon enough perceive potential 'specialized' partners. But EVEN THERE you have this thing with people that they regularly have this HUGE RANGE of differentiation EVEN WITHIN KINK LIFESTYLE GROUPS!!

So it can be all pretty damned complicated.

In Japan here and there in the Ginza there are proximity beacon devices with 'kinky sex' signals of all kinds programmed in, so that a signal goes off in your smartwatch when you are close to another watch-wearer who has programmed the same thing into their device.

But this is all very very banal and I think, superficial stuff. Yes, it's 'technology,' but no, it's not the end-game.

I have heard one person I regard as a sexual relationship expert, talk about the subject using a horse racing analogy:

33% of all yearlings sold each year make it into full training; 33% of that group ever make it to a trial; 33% of that make it to a race; 33% of that fill wins or placings in a race EVER; and less than 33% of those ever win or place in a city race.

So. You are talking FRACTIONAL numbers of potential GENUINELY compatible partners, I think, if you go by those kinds of numbers.

A blogger made what to me is an exciting and astute observation: 'pussy is everywhere - dick is everywhere. Chemistry isn't.'

 

[coachdb18]

I think a hard-on is a pretty clear, time honored means of conveying significant interest...

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

I think a hard-on is a pretty clear, time honored means of conveying significant interest...

Yes and I agree with that. If you are not faking it. If you take the current in the news example of old Harvery W., then here is someone who is doing something other than just reacting naturally physiologically... Masturbating in front of someone who is not already overtly consenting to what is going on is bizarre, in terms of 'getting things hard' or 'getting things up.'

Most of the time here we are talking from the man's point of view, and responding to a question posed by a man - and that's okay. And indeed I am assuming the OP is a guy. It doesn't so much matter if he is hetero or bi or gay as far as I'm concerned in terms of the actual question posed.

But, when it comes to Male-Female, then, make no mistake, women KNOW when you are POWERFULLY SEXUALLY aroused, and it really counts for them in all of my experience; they 'walk across the road half-way' (at least!) IF they see some guy who is REALLY aroused and they like what they see of him ON THE OUTSIDE. AND they are looking for sex. You don't have to do anything else.

Nobody else counts as a potential sex partner. They HAVE to be looking for a sexual relationship. There is no such thing as 'seduction.' Not seduction of someone who starts out not interested in the slightest. And with no fundamental internal compatibility.

NO... SUCH... THING.

 

[HornyHal]

AWESOME!!! Desiremakesmeweak thank you so much for your well thought out responses. You make a very valid precise point. I guess what I am talking about or originally posts about was mostly based in fantasy. Seriously!! Super awesome comments.

 

[littlecordelera]

HornyHal, let me say what I was trying to say earlier in a different way.

When I am initially interested in a guy, fetish compatibility is the last thing on my mind, and it's certainly not the first characteristic I want to communicate. Also, if a guy approaches me and his only interest is sex, I am, therefore, not interested in him. So if a guy approaches me and right up front he is "promoting" his fetish, I'm already turned off.