Common Sense

Unclebill

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Oct 4, 1999
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2,387
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and flipped the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself.

I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why:
  • I drive 48 miles each way every day to work, that's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway so if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper to bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day. Statistically, half of these are driven by females, that's 18,000.
  • In any given group of females 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period. That's 642.
  • According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.
  • According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.
  • And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.
  • According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and is armed.

Flip one off? .....I think not.
 
I drive so much that I'm just used to people cutting me off... I drove over 500 miles a week... Not always fun... I'm usually driving to fast for anyone to cut me off, thought... 5+ above the speed limit all the time, I have a little bit of a need for speed. Fastest I ever went was 130mph on a freeway ... wheeeeee. I used to drive 90 constantly, but I got a ticket and decided I really have no where important to go, so I've slowed down a bit.
 
MistressHoney . . .

*drooling* What interstate is that again? *scrambling for pen and paper*
 
LordMagicMan said:
I drive so much that I'm just used to people cutting me off... I drove over 500 miles a week... Not always fun... I'm usually driving to fast for anyone to cut me off, thought... 5+ above the speed limit all the time, I have a little bit of a need for speed. Fastest I ever went was 130mph on a freeway ... wheeeeee. I used to drive 90 constantly, but I got a ticket and decided I really have no where important to go, so I've slowed down a bit.

Come to Georgia LMM, it is actually illegal to give someone a ticket if they are going less than 10 mph over the limit. So you drive exactly 10 over the limit, don't do anything stupid and no worries.
 
Re: fascinating

MistressHoney said:
just curious... how much time did it take to figure all of this out?

BTW, I never swear or flip off men either. I just flash my tits. There's a 99.99 percent probability they were just thinking about sex anyway.
I got this in e-mail from a friend and thought I'd share for the humor value. I don't have the patience to figure out stuff like this.

But I sure like your version better! :p
 
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