Comments wanted

[dejectedgeek]

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=144000

Any and all comments appreciated. Enjoy the story.

 

[Rainbow Skin]

Excellent. A very lifelike depiction, with no excess, and the naturalness maintained right up to the end. Nice little touches of description like her brushing her hair away, and before that 'her brown locks covering her eyes'

One pet peeve, though: 'a C cup if I had to guess', well you don't, the word 'hefty' says it much better. You also omit to mention the part of the evening where you got her to stand against a giraffe wall-hanging to measure her height, and to step on some scales to read off her weight. What can those numbers mean to anyone? Tall or short would be much better. You very successfully convey her bounce and effect without having to resort to that.

 

[Guest]

Hair does not grow on men's lips.

 

[vierge]

It was REAL. I think that is the best part about it, is that this is something could actually happen and therefore makes it tangible to most readers as they're reading it.

Very good starting situation and ending situation, it's exactly how I would picture it happening. So wait did this actually happen?

Well anyways, brilliant portrayal and you definitely had all of the right moves in there to really get a person off if they were reading it. So very good.

 

[Guest]

Are you all fucking nuts?

 

[sincerely_helene]

I'm pretty fucking nuts,

 

[sincerely_helene]

I'm pretty fucking nuts,

 

[Guest]

Go easy on the nuts.

 

[dejectedgeek]

Anybody else have REAL comments for the story? Thanks to those who gave me some supporting words.