Comments on the Updated Stickies!

[cellis]

Risia I personally want to thank you for taking the time to revise the stickies of the forum.

I know this is not an easy position that you find yourself in and I know that you have other issues in your life. So thank you for making the time to revise the stickies.

Also many cudos to Nemo for the wonderful job she had done on the new library sticky.

I like this new look!

 

[RisiaSkye]

Thanks, cellis.

As people have a chance to read, think, and respond, I'll have a better idea of how well this semi-new strategy will work for everyone. Then we'll take it from there as the place continues to grow and change.

I hate playing dictator, but occasionally, someone has to take the reigns in the interest of everyone. Right now, that person is me. So be it.

If anyone has comments, suggestions, questions, requests, etc, this is a good place to bring them up. Let's deal with this directly, and put the issue to bed.

Be well,
RisiaSkye
Forum Moderator

 

[Minout]

Also many cudos to Nemo for the wonderful job she had done on the new library sticky.

I second that. Thank you very much. It sure beats trying to wade through a search.


Minout

 

[Hot4Heels]

The stumbling block

I think the bigest issue this board faces and has faced is its strive to be ONLY a discussion board. While noble in its idea I do not think it is possible. Get any group of like minded individuals together, real life or over the net, and soon the talk will turn from the subject at hand to other topics. THIS IS NOT NECESSARILLY A BAD THING. It shows that a community has formed and that people are comfortable with the others around them. Stop and think if someone wanted to share something off topic with THIS community and posted it at the GB what would be the result? Alot of people here would miss the post and it would probably get hijacked in the usual GB manner.

Now on to a few other points.

Flirting. I see no real problem with this. So a FEW people start a FEW threads that are just basically Playground style flirting. Is there a harm in this? I dont see this place ever turning into the Playground, differnt communities, different people.

The EMPHASIS in the sticky on skin2skin I THINK is hurtful to new people. It gives a tone that if you don't live your life in Leather you are not welcome here. Think of the newer peoples whos ONLY experiences may be online. They may not even be SURE they want skin2skin. I also think this sets a tone for the "I have been doing this forever and you are bot real feel". I feel this is very DETRIMINTAL to people seeking the knowledge that can be available here.

Flame wars. This is simple. If this board didn't want them they would not be here. It takes two to Tango. Bottom line. For me it is amusing to watch Lance spout some inflamitory remarks and watch people who should know the meaning of DISCIPLINE react like Pavlov's dogs to the sound of the bell.

Lastly this has been echoed to death, but this place is what WE make it. If we dont want Flame or Flirt threads simple let them die. Rember this Water seeks its on level. It may can be poured or whipped into waves but eventually it seeks its on level.

Risia I like what I have seen of your more hands on solo modship. Hopefully some help can be found and a parting sujestion, perhaps the mods should pic a BOLD COLORED text for their OFFICIAL voice to seperate personal posts and OFFICIAL posts so NO confusion occurs.

As Art says its just my opinion but I own it.

 

[artful]

RS

Thanks, cellis.

As people have a chance to read, think, and respond, I'll have a better idea of how well this semi-new strategy will work for everyone. Then we'll take it from there as the place continues to grow and change.

I hate playing dictator, but occasionally, someone has to take the reigns in the interest of everyone. Right now, that person is me. So be it.

If anyone has comments, suggestions, questions, requests, etc, this is a good place to bring them up. Let's deal with this directly, and put the issue to bed.

Be well,
RisiaSkye
Forum Moderator

Thanks for all you do. As with all things, time has a way of allowing for us to find out, if new adjustments will be beneficial to this Forum or not. I read the stickies,...and it looks good to me.

Hopefully, you can find others who are as fair minded as you are, to help Moderate THIS Forum, (to ease your workload).

 

[Lancecastor]

Initial Comments

By way of my initial comments on the new Sticky:

1. The previous text on this "not being a therapy place" (sic) are gone. Risia, as you edited the Sticky, does this mean, by implication, that this is now a place to seek therapy in matters BDSM?

2. The specific inclusion of words indicating that this is not a place for flames is, realistically, unrealistic. People will discuss & disagree...and due to human nature and the nature of anonymous humans online, flames will break out from time to time. In your editorial sticky, you indicate your intention not to abide with flames, your intention to leave should the forum take particular direction(s) and your intention to balance free speech with the reality that this is not in fact an inclusive place. That being said, how do you propose to achieve such a balance? Example: Though I have not looked at tonite's threads, am I to expect that I should find all of Rick Deville's "I Hate Lance & Want To Fight Him" threads disappeared? I.e....on what basis do you to propose this more conservative authority?

3. Re: Cellis' comments....specifically: "I know that you have other issues in your life" in reference to You, Risia...are these sorts of comments of a personal nature now "out" ? Do we stick to only those matters relating to skin-to-skin BDSM contact/experiences? What happens if we don't? Will there be censure and/or censorship/editing?

4. How will you police the "no threats" rule? Example: I have been theatened here as recently as last night. The words were laughable to Me, as I am 5,000 miles away from the spite-cat who said them in anger...but the words were theatening. If you saw them, maybe you'd delete them. I don't know. What's the Policy? I've also seen women on the GB "yelling" for "help", crying out for a Mod on some (unseen, unspoken <to the rest of us>) "threat". How will you police such calls here? A "Report This Post" PM? Will you be here 24/7? Will these matters be handled on a triage basis only?

5. The Online Predator...I find this section of the sticky sexist and always have. There are bots and huge staffs of people in Russia and elsewhere actively searching for men like me...straight, single, successful. Straight men here have been laughed off repeatedly and routinely here. Submissive females and their "needs" are no more or less valid in terms of online safety of one sort or another than Gay men, Bi Switches, Lesbians, etc....yet a large chunk of this Forum's "manifesto" is directed towards only them. I suggest a new article to replace this narrow minded and insulting, patronizing, patriarchical piece about Online Safety generally.

6. "Off Topic" What is off topic? Who decides? By what standards?

Those are my initial comments and questions. I'll likely ask more detailed and thorough questions at another time.

Thanks for your continued interest and dedication;

Lance

 

[WriterDom]

This whole ongoing fracas is and has been a tempest in a teapot. The claims that this place is dead are wrong and insulting to everyone who's still here. This place is, and will be, whatever the participants make it. The only people who can "kill" it are Laurel & Manu. The only ones who can make it thrive are the posters to it. It has the potential to be a forum for both serious and light discussion about *all* things BDSM related, and that could be a very useful, enjoyable, and sophisticated thing--something of value for everyone.

nuff said

 

[RisiaSkye]

Re: The stumbling block

Thank you, Minout & artful.

I think the bigest issue this board faces and has faced is its strive to be ONLY a discussion board. While noble in its idea I do not think it is possible. Get any group of like minded individuals together, real life or over the net, and soon the talk will turn from the subject at hand to other topics. THIS IS NOT NECESSARILLY A BAD THING. It shows that a community has formed and that people are comfortable with the others around them. Stop and think if someone wanted to share something off topic with THIS community and posted it at the GB what would be the result? Alot of people here would miss the post and it would probably get hijacked in the usual GB manner.

Thank you for responding in such depth, H4H.

I agree that the discussion format creates many problems just by its nature. I also think, though, that it *is* a goal worth working toward. I don't intend to squash the "community" feeling of this place at all. All I'm asking for is clearer labelled threads, to make serious discussion possible. I'm also asking people to start GB threads here only if they mean it for *this* community exclusively.

Now on to a few other points.

Flirting. I see no real problem with this. So a FEW people start a FEW threads that are just basically Playground style flirting. Is there a harm in this? I dont see this place ever turning into the Playground, differnt communities, different people.

Flirting, like GB content, just needs to be kept limited. Such threads proliferate rapidly when allowed to grow unchecked, and they bury discussion-content. I'm asking people to use their best, most adult, judgement. I don't have issues with how much flirting takes place here, but I've seen many places where there is little else.

Also, I'd like to keep hijacking to a minimum.

The EMPHASIS in the sticky on skin2skin I THINK is hurtful to new people. It gives a tone that if you don't live your life in Leather you are not welcome here. Think of the newer peoples whos ONLY experiences may be online. They may not even be SURE they want skin2skin. I also think this sets a tone for the "I have been doing this forever and you are bot real feel". I feel this is very DETRIMINTAL to people seeking the knowledge that can be available here.

This is a good point. While we don't want this to be a role playing site or chat room, we shouldn't be closed to people who are learning online or in LDRs. I'll have to think on that a bit, and try to make it more clear in the "welcome" thread.

Flame wars. This is simple. If this board didn't want them they would not be here. It takes two to Tango. Bottom line. For me it is amusing to watch Lance spout some inflamitory remarks and watch people who should know the meaning of DISCIPLINE react like Pavlov's dogs to the sound of the bell.

I think that the flame wars started for a *reason*, and then degenerated into a free-for-all. It is my hope that as we continue to clarify our intent and etiquette, they'll become obsolete.

If they don't, I have no problem squashing them in the future, if it's necessary to maintain a forum everyone can enjoy. To that end, if people *wish* to engage in flame war in this community specifically, I'd encourage you to take it to the longest ongoing flame location--the "We're not a Chatroom" thread. I think that stands as a testament to our flammability, dont you?

Lastly this has been echoed to death, but this place is what WE make it. If we dont want Flame or Flirt threads simple let them die. Rember this Water seeks its on level. It may can be poured or whipped into waves but eventually it seeks its on level.

Risia I like what I have seen of your more hands on solo modship. Hopefully some help can be found and a parting sujestion, perhaps the mods should pic a BOLD COLORED text for their OFFICIAL voice to seperate personal posts and OFFICIAL posts so NO confusion occurs.

As Art says its just my opinion but I own it.

That's an excellent idea. From this point forward, I will post in purple when wearing my Moderator hat.

Thank you again for your input. Best to you, and all,
RisiaSkye,
Forum Moderator

 

[serijules]

Re: The stumbling block

The EMPHASIS in the sticky on skin2skin I THINK is hurtful to new people. It gives a tone that if you don't live your life in Leather you are not welcome here. Think of the newer peoples whos ONLY experiences may be online. They may not even be SURE they want skin2skin. I also think this sets a tone for the "I have been doing this forever and you are bot real feel". I feel this is very DETRIMINTAL to people seeking the knowledge that can be available here.

I have to admit when I found this forum yesterday, the stickys were the first posts I read, naturally. When I got to the part about "real lifestylers" or however it was worded (sorry, short memory span) I remember coming to a screaching halt and thinking, 'oh yikes, I wonder if I'll be welcome here..'

I play a lot online, it was my first introduction to the BDSM and spanking lifestyle, and it was only after about a year of playing online (even exploring cyber-relationships and self spanking) that I had the courage to go out into the 'real world'. However, a vast majority of the things I learned about myself and the lifestyle were learned online well before I had ever had any skin2skin lifestyle experience. Even then, that experience was given to me by someone I knew and had a relationship with online first.

It was welcome forums, helpful lifestylers, and general acceptance from my online peers from all ranges of experience that made me the lifestyler I am today. I have only been playing in person for a few years, but I have experienced many things, have a pretty solid understanding of many aspects of BDSM...and love sharing that knowledge with others in hopes that maybe those newer won't make the same mistakes I did, or at the very least, learn from them.

So, when I read that comment, my first reaction was in thinking perhaps I wouldn't be welcome here, even though I DO live a 'real time' lifestyle. I hold on to my online experience, past AND present, like a security blanket, and I'm not willing to let anyone tell me that that experience was not 'real' enough. For me, it was very real, very valid, and very important.

After reading a few threads though, I realized this assumption was not the case at all, and that seemingly all levels and types of the lifestyle are quite accepted here (by most anyhow). Makes me wonder now though, if perhaps that wording scares off some that don't take the time to prove their assumptions to themselves before wandering on?

A few months ago an email I received from a newbie ready to branch out from cyber but not willing to give up the relationships she had online. This prompted me to write an essay on cyber relationship pro's and con's and the reality of it, since I have experience in both cyber relationships and real time relationships. Perhaps that information would be something worth posting here to signify that those that are at that stage or have choosen that route ARE welcome?

 

[P. B. Walker]

Re: The stumbling block

Flirting. I see no real problem with this. So a FEW people start a FEW threads that are just basically Playground style flirting. Is there a harm in this? I dont see this place ever turning into the Playground, differnt communities, different people.

The EMPHASIS in the sticky on skin2skin I THINK is hurtful to new people. It gives a tone that if you don't live your life in Leather you are not welcome here. Think of the newer peoples whos ONLY experiences may be online. They may not even be SURE they want skin2skin. I also think this sets a tone for the "I have been doing this forever and you are bot real feel". I feel this is very DETRIMINTAL to people seeking the knowledge that can be available here.

Flame wars. This is simple. If this board didn't want them they would not be here. It takes two to Tango. Bottom line. For me it is amusing to watch Lance spout some inflamitory remarks and watch people who should know the meaning of DISCIPLINE react like Pavlov's dogs to the sound of the bell.

I have to second and agree with alot of what Hot4Heels said. I don't mind mild flirting. In fact, I doubt we could *all* keep from flirting and teasing. And if we did... this place would be very boring. I think it would also hamper us from forming friendships. The thing I do mind is *excessive* flirting. When it gets to the point of who's going to call who for some hot phone, then it's excessive. I think the main thing to avoid is page after page of flirting. A few quips back and forth isn't a bad thing. But when you see a new thread that is 5 pages long, and it's *only* an hour old, you think... why it must be a hot thread. You click on it... and after the first 3 or 4 introductory posts, you get into a back and forth flirt that goes on for 4 1/2 pages. That isn't fun. So... respectfully, I think we should amend the sticky to say *excessive* flirting. Just my humble opinion. I wouldn't mind debating this rationally if anyone wants to.

Flame wars. I dislike them as much as the next person. I don't like being dragged into them and I rarely am. I would say that this past week has been the first flame war I've been in for about 2 or 3 years. I have absolutely no problem with a moderator killing a flame war right away. It more than suits me. I'm behind that 100%. A constructive argument on the other hand should be allowed to continue. But when it gets personal, then I feel the moderator should make a judgement call. Again, just my two cents on that.

Skin-to-skin BDSM. This part kinda bothers me since by that definition I would have to leave. If that is really the true want and need of the majority of people here, then I can live by that. I will never be in a 24/7 TPE relationship. And at the moment I'm not in a relationship. All of my BDSM activities are kept to the bedroom. So at the moment, I'm not doing any skin-to-skin. Not to mention my experience has been quite limited to this point. So... I think if you do make it that narrow of focus then you will force alot of people out. If that is the intention, then I can live with it. I just wanted to call that out and make sure that is your intent.

On a side note: I do want to thank Risia for stepping up and trying something new. At the very least, she is address the problem. I applaud that. Please keep it up Risia.

PBW

 

[A Desert Rose]

Is this the place to say Nice Job, Nemo? well nice job......

Rose

 

[RisiaSkye]

Re: Initial Comments


Thank you, WD.

By way of my initial comments on the new Sticky:

1. The previous text on this "not being a therapy place" (sic) are gone. Risia, as you edited the Sticky, does this mean, by implication, that this is now a place to seek therapy in matters BDSM?

Lance, thank you for your input.

No, I don't mean that it's for therapy. However, I thought the previous language was unnecessary. I cannot, however, erase the memory of the old sticky, so this could be an issue that impedes clarity. I will have to think on this, determine how to best elaborate.

[2. The specific inclusion of words indicating that this is not a place for flames is, realistically, unrealistic. People will discuss & disagree...and due to human nature and the nature of anonymous humans online, flames will break out from time to time. In your editorial sticky, you indicate your intention not to abide with flames, your intention to leave should the forum take particular direction(s) and your intention to balance free speech with the reality that this is not in fact an inclusive place. That being said, how do you propose to achieve such a balance? Example: Though I have not looked at tonite's threads, am I to expect that I should find all of Rick Deville's "I Hate Lance & Want To Fight Him" threads disappeared? I.e....on what basis do you to propose this more conservative authority?

What I don't intend to abide is hijacking of threads to create chaos, nor the kind of flame baiting that's been taking place recently. I have *not* removed the Rick Deville threads, but I have commented on several of them, contacted him about them, and stated that I'm giving 24 hours for everyone to read what's up. I'm not going to remove any old content, but if he were to do the same thing NOW, I'd remove the threads.

My plan is that when I see threads/posts that I believe create problems, I will first PM the poster &/or ask the thread participants to moderate themselves. And if I have to remove threads for grey-area issues of content, I'll leave a forwarding link to them for a day, so that anyone can see them that wants to, and can comment on the removal if they have a specific complaint.

In short, I'm asking people to take themselves in hand. I'm not saying don't flirt, don't flame, don't talk about anything but whips & chains. I'm just saying remember the forum's primary subject, consider whether it belongs here, and appropriately title your threads to be clear about its intended purpose. In the end, I intend to balance these things by relying upon the community's ability to behave civilly and as adults, and when necessary, upon my own judgement. That is, after all, my job.

I've never claimed that this is a democracy. However, I have no intentions of being a dictator in a real sense. In the past, I've always tried to back free expression and I will continue to do so. I've never been much of a censor, and I don't intend to start now--I'd much prefer to be, well, a moderator.

3. Re: Cellis' comments....specifically: "I know that you have other issues in your life" in reference to You, Risia...are these sorts of comments of a personal nature now "out" ? Do we stick to only those matters relating to skin-to-skin BDSM contact/experiences? What happens if we don't? Will there be censure and/or censorship/editing?

No, I don't intend for it to be entirely BDSM in nature. I know this is a community, and that's a *good* thing. I think one of the biggest mistakes we've made around here is trying to hold the reigns so tightly. The other is not being willing to step up and acknowledge that we rely upon our own judgement to make decisions, and we are sometimes wrong when we do so.

I tried to make that clear in the sticky. It would be helpful to me, in working on revising it, if you could point me to the area that needs clarification in the language. Thank you in advance.

4. How will you police the "no threats" rule? Example: I have been theatened here as recently as last night. The words were laughable to Me, as I am 5,000 miles away from the spite-cat who said them in anger...but the words were theatening. If you saw them, maybe you'd delete them. I don't know. What's the Policy? I've also seen women on the GB "yelling" for "help", crying out for a Mod on some (unseen, unspoken <to the rest of us>) "threat". How will you police such calls here? A "Report This Post" PM? Will you be here 24/7? Will these matters be handled on a triage basis only?

As with all violations of rules, I must either see them, or they must be reported to me. So, if you see a thread where you or someone else is threatened (in your opinion), hit the "report post to moderator" button. As soon as I'm next online, I"ll check it out. Generally speaking, I consider a threat to be a *direct* threat to someone's personal safety, a suggestion that the poster will damage the target. I'm not trying to stifle people's flaming vocabulary, just to protect Literotica and the posters from violence and privacy invasion/stalking.

It's never been much of an issue, but if there's a need to "crack down," I'm more than willing to hear the details.

And again, everyone, use the "report post" button if you see something you think is destructive or dangerous to a significant degree and requires attention.

5. The Online Predator...I find this section of the sticky sexist and always have. There are bots and huge staffs of people in Russia and elsewhere actively searching for men like me...straight, single, successful. Straight men here have been laughed off repeatedly and routinely here. Submissive females and their "needs" are no more or less valid in terms of online safety of one sort or another than Gay men, Bi Switches, Lesbians, etc....yet a large chunk of this Forum's "manifesto" is directed towards only them. I suggest a new article to replace this narrow minded and insulting, patronizing, patriarchical piece about Online Safety generally.

You know, to be honest, I've never read it closely, as I'm in a 24/7 relationship and don't do the Online Thang. But, I'll make sure to read it shortly so I can better consider this point.

Let's call this one pending.

6. "Off Topic" What is off topic? Who decides? By what standards?

I'm afraid I need a more specific location--where in the stickies are you referring to? I need to know the context to be able to clarify.

Ultimately, moderating decisions are made by the moderator(s) So, I guess the "who decides" is right now me and will continue to be "Moderators." That's just the way of a moderated discussion. I'm not ashamed of my judgement. I will probably make mistakes, which is why I *try* to err on the side of freedom and inclusion as much as possible.

Again, thank you for your quick response and thorough input.

Best to you,
RisiaSkye
Forum Moderator

 

[RisiaSkye]

Re: Re: The stumbling block

So, when I read that comment, my first reaction was in thinking perhaps I wouldn't be welcome here, even though I DO live a 'real time' lifestyle. I hold on to my online experience, past AND present, like a security blanket, and I'm not willing to let anyone tell me that that experience was not 'real' enough. For me, it was very real, very valid, and very important.

A few months ago an email I received from a newbie ready to branch out from cyber but not willing to give up the relationships she had online. This prompted me to write an essay on cyber relationship pro's and con's and the reality of it, since I have experience in both cyber relationships and real time relationships. Perhaps that information would be something worth posting here to signify that those that are at that stage or have choosen that route ARE welcome?

Good to hear from you, serijules. As I posted above, I agree that the language may be alienating. I am working on a way to fix it. Particularly because Lancecastor's raised a relevant point about the Online Predator and its potentially sexist content, I would be very interested in taking a look at your essay as a potential substitute, and a welcome to online seekers.

If you could send that my way (there's an email link at the bottom of my post), I'll get back to you on this ASAP.

Thanks again for your response.
Best to you,
RisiaSkye
Forum Moderator

 

[RisiaSkye]

Re: Re: The stumbling block

I have to second and agree with alot of what Hot4Heels said. I don't mind mild flirting. In fact, I doubt we could *all* keep from flirting and teasing. And if we did... this place would be very boring. I think it would also hamper us from forming friendships. The thing I do mind is *excessive* flirting. When it gets to the point of who's going to call who for some hot phone, then it's excessive. I think the main thing to avoid is page after page of flirting. A few quips back and forth isn't a bad thing. But when you see a new thread that is 5 pages long, and it's *only* an hour old, you think... why it must be a hot thread. You click on it... and after the first 3 or 4 introductory posts, you get into a back and forth flirt that goes on for 4 1/2 pages. That isn't fun. So... respectfully, I think we should amend the sticky to say *excessive* flirting. Just my humble opinion. I wouldn't mind debating this rationally if anyone wants to.

Easily done, and a point well taken. Consider it done, as soon as I post this.

Flame wars. I dislike them as much as the next person. I don't like being dragged into them and I rarely am. I would say that this past week has been the first flame war I've been in for about 2 or 3 years. I have absolutely no problem with a moderator killing a flame war right away. It more than suits me. I'm behind that 100%. A constructive argument on the other hand should be allowed to continue. But when it gets personal, then I feel the moderator should make a judgement call. Again, just my two cents on that.

I agree, but am waiting to give everyone a chance to respond. Thank you for your support, though.

Skin-to-skin BDSM. This part kinda bothers me since by that definition I would have to leave. If that is really the true want and need of the majority of people here, then I can live by that. I will never be in a 24/7 TPE relationship. And at the moment I'm not in a relationship. All of my BDSM activities are kept to the bedroom. So at the moment, I'm not doing any skin-to-skin. Not to mention my experience has been quite limited to this point. So... I think if you do make it that narrow of focus then you will force alot of people out. If that is the intention, then I can live with it. I just wanted to call that out and make sure that is your intent.

I think this is a sticking point for many, and I'm working on making the language more clear.

To me, all onliners are welcome, so long as they're *interested* in real time/skin2skin relationships. I don't discount onliners, and I think the current language *is* a little ambiguous on this point.

The best I can say is that I'll work on it; expect to see another update on this in the next few days

On a side note: I do want to thank Risia for stepping up and trying something new. At the very least, she is address the problem. I applaud that. Please keep it up Risia.

Thank you, PBW. I'm doing my best. With a little continued cooperation, this may yet work out to everyone's satisfaction.

Best to you,
RisiaSkye
Forum Moderator

 

[RisiaSkye]

Initial revision re: online

This is from the end of the "Welcome" sticky; it's my initial revision, directed toward clarifying online and LD relationships' inclusion here--and its limits.

Let me know what you think, yes?

In this forum, our focus is on BDSM sexuality as it’s played out in real life, skin-to-skin relationships. We welcome those whose experience may be limited to online contact, or even to their own fantasy life. However, our discussion emphasis is on BDSM as a sexual preference and lifestyle rather than on BDSM as a variation of fantasy. We’re not a chat room nor a general forum and don’t wish to be a place where chat room type BDSM dialogue, personally directed flame wars, or other off-topic material dominates our threads and permeates our discussions.

Again, welcome to the Forum. We thank you in advance for respecting others, and trust that you will comport yourselves as adults.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Some one will PM me if I post a thread that is not appropriate, right?

I hate to be taken to task on the boards for fucking with protocal.

God, this is hard to do..... all those rum and cokes tonight.
Ever have Malibu? Damn it goes down nice and easy.

Rose

 

[cellis]

Risia that passage was one of the things that I particularly liked about the revision.... I hate having people excluded because they have yet to make the move to R/L. That would have excluded me from being here if that were the case in the beginning... I needed everyone's help to make the move to real life...

 

[RisiaSkye]

Yes, Rose. If necessary, I may comment *in* a thread (if it's being aggressively hijacked, for example.) But if you're starting a thread (or a trend of them) that's a problem, I'll contact you before taking any other action.

RS, FM

 

[RisiaSkye]

Alright, y'all. My Mod hat is off. I'm back to my RL for the night. I *will*, however, read the new posts and try to respond to them directly tomorow.

Be well,
RS

 

[A Desert Rose]

Yes, Rose. If necessary, I may comment *in* a thread (if it's being aggressively hijacked, for example.) But if you're starting a thread (or a trend of them) that's a problem, I'll contact you before taking any other action.

RS, FM

Thank you Risia, I knew I could count on you to be even handed.

Rose

 

[RisiaSkye]

I know I've said this in other places, but: Great job, Nemo. And thank you, on behalf of all of us.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: The stumbling block

The EMPHASIS in the sticky on skin2skin I THINK is hurtful to new people. It gives a tone that if you don't live your life in Leather you are not welcome here. Think of the newer peoples whos ONLY experiences may be online. They may not even be SURE they want skin2skin. I also think this sets a tone for the "I have been doing this forever and you are bot real feel". I feel this is very DETRIMINTAL to people seeking the knowledge that can be available here.

I have to agree with this. I am not having skin2skin right now and don't see it happening in the near future. I do occassionally feel less than 'normal' here at times. I realize that is MY problem, but it also feels at times as though, because of my situation, I am not "part" of things here.

Rose

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: The stumbling block

The EMPHASIS in the sticky on skin2skin I THINK is hurtful to new people. It gives a tone that if you don't live your life in Leather you are not welcome here.

I am a lifetime Domme and I do not live my life in leather. Skin to skin has nothing to do with what you wear, but it has to do with how D/s is manifested in your daily life.

And I can understand that you might feel unwelcome, but can you speak for others? What may set a tone for you may not affect others in the same way.


Ebony

 

[Ebonyfire]

I like

Kudos to you RS.

And thanks.

Ebony

 

[Red Menace]

Risia, I'd like to start off by saying thank you to you for taking the time and trouble to moderate this forum and be as fair and imparatial as you have. You do a wonderful job here.

I have nothing really to comment on about the updated sticky except to say the new part about onliners sounds a lot more inclusive but still keeping within the bounds of R/T BDSM.

My concern is the off-topic and flame war threads and weather they should be left here in the interest of "free speech" or deleted to preserve the integrety of this community.

Personally, I'm in favor of deleting them. Let people scream about their first ammendment rights all they want... this is not a democracy; it is the internet. I'm not sure what the Terms of Service on this site has to say about what's a deletable offense (is there a ToS here? I didn't see one when I signed up), but threads that disrupt the boards such as a whole page full of Rick DeVille talking to himself was quite annoying, had nothing to do with the purpose of this forum and IMO should be dumped in the garbage. There were a few flame threads that also did nothing to enhance the community but I've noticed that when a few people are a little overheated about something and their battle of wits is pulled out from under them, they tend to create new topics whining about the unfairness of the first one. What really shocked me was some of the visious personal attacks KillerMuffin made towards a couple of people. That kind of stuff is allowed here? I mean, I'd tend to say if someone wants to start flaming and they find someone to play with, let the two of them go at it and have fun as long as it's contained in one topic... But some of those things she said were just way over the top and might have been better off being deleted. That's just my opinion, though. I have a feeling I'm in the minority here.