Commanded orgasms

[laurel-marie]

With Shadowsdream thread, ok you female subs, hitting on orgasms, and some of the responses mentioning orgasm control, I started wondering...How does one go about controling an orgasm. Oh, I know you can tell the submissive they are not to orgasm by masturbation, and bring one to the edge but not go over...I am not talking about this. What I am curious about is making them orgasm on command...or is that even possible?

You see it in stories...'You may not cum till I say so"...and the sub begging to orgasm, but does not, no matter what the Dom is doing. How can you do that? How can you keep yourself from orgasming? Or is it just a story thing?

Personally, I have no control over it. Even if he said "Don't untill I say"...I cannot stop myself. Now it might be just a part of one, but still I cannot stop it from escaping. How can you?

(I know, the title is missing a 'm', consider it a nursing error.)

 

[Kajira Callista]

With Shadowsdream thread, ok you female subs, hitting on orgasms, and some of the responses mentioning orgasm control, I started wondering...How does one go about controling an orgasm. Oh, I know you can tell the submissive they are not to orgasm by masturbation, and bring one to the edge but not go over...I am not talking about this. What I am curious about is making them orgasm on command...or is that even possible?

You see it in stories...'You may not cum till I say so"...and the sub begging to orgasm, but does not, no matter what the Dom is doing. How can you do that? How can you keep yourself from orgasming? Or is it just a story thing?

Personally, I have no control over it. Even if he said "Don't untill I say"...I cannot stop myself. Now it might be just a part of one, but still I cannot stop it from escaping. How can you?

Put it in your head that it won't happen until you are permitted. IMHO orgasm on command is a mind thing and has little to do with physical. What i mean by that is yes the arousal has to be there, but with your partner i would hope it was there. Its about giving up control to your dominant, not about how close to the edge you are physically.

 

[Softouch911]

Personally, I have no control over it. Even if he said "Don't untill I say"...I cannot stop myself. Now it might be just a part of one, but still I cannot stop it from escaping. How can you?

And I don't think I could do my Dom play if I couldn't postpone or even reject my orgasm.

Do'nt be afraid to say no to your body. The results are surprisingly intense.

If you wish to practice, perhaps you can practice from the kama sutra ... one nice set of techniques come with the yoni massage .... perhaps your Dom would help you practice.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Cumming on command is about mind control and knowing your body. It is also about the build up before hand...to say to anyone cum NOW out of nowhere has about as much chance of ocurring as a horse has of flying. But with no more than words a Dom/me can take a sub to orgasm without touch if they know them and their trigger fantasies. A sub can be taught to cum without touching even outside of the interraction with their Dom/me.

Orgasms can be stopped in many ways...beginning in the mind...as simple as thinking of something emotionally painful or disgusting can do it for some. There will be a trigger to remove the thought of orgasm amongst all of U/us.

 

[His_pita]

I have great control of my orgasms and I agree it happens in the mind first. I like to be kept on the edge and hold myself off until he orgasms with me. That is the ultimate in my opinion.

The other night in chat my Dom was giving me a fantasy and I never touched myself. Just tighening up and thigh squeezes. Mainly concentrating on the feelings until I had to beg him to let me cum. It was very intense and I was able to cum the moment he said yes. If however he had said no to me I would have been able to turn off that need and let myself calm back down. But, since it had been days and days he permitted it and for that I was so grateful.

Of course there have been times my mind isn't paying attention and my orgasm just burst forth. Those are fun too!

 

[rakastuja]

I dont have problems holding back orgasms. I have trained that a lot by bringing myself on the edge and then backing off again several times per day. Of course I probably couldnt hold back if stimulation wouldnt stop (but since I hardly ever get orgasm if clit is not involved all needed would be just leaving clit alone early enough).

Getting orgasm when told to however would need me to be near enough - otherwise it would be simply impossible. Also I guess that when told to get orgasm I would feel pressure and have even harder time getting one than usually.

 

[bisexplicit]

I'm wondering if you're talking about a physical impossibility or a psychological one...
Either way, orgasm denial and orgasm control I think are some of the funnest things to play around with. And while its not something that you can learn how to control right away - it takes some practice - I think it is something that you can learn how to control.
(One way that this would work is get to the point of orgasm and then be denied further stimulation, calm down some, and then be worked up 'til that point again.)

 

[shy slave]

Stop feeling,

start thinking about the shopping list, the laundry, balancing the cheque book....

 

[rakastuja]

Stop feeling,

start thinking about the shopping list, the laundry, balancing the cheque book....

I dont actually take my mind away to prevent orgasms. Usually I just kind of "tense up" or "froze"... maybe mentally more than physically... its kind of hard to explain but I guess it has everything to do with the feeling of disappointment that comes with orgasm if I fail.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I dont actually take my mind away to prevent orgasms. Usually I just kind of "tense up" or "froze"... maybe mentally more than physically... its kind of hard to explain but I guess it has everything to do with the feeling of disappointment that comes with orgasm if I fail.

yep, just stop because you werent permitted to go further. and that feeling of making a mistake i think only happens once, because i sure as hell know i never wanna feel like that again.

 

[laurel-marie]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the infomation.
Seems the consensus is the same...more a mental thing then physical.
It gives me something to work with at least, thank you.

 

[h_i_s]

What I am curious about is making them orgasm on command...or is that even possible?

At this point in the relationship, it's not at all possible for me to just orgasm when i am told to. Usually this takes place [being told to] after having been told NOT to orgasm. i won't say 'never' though as there are many things i am now capable of that i was NOT capable of prior to this relationship... and, no .. i can't orgasm on demand without already having being brought to a point of actually being able to reach that peak.

You see it in stories...'You may not cum till I say so"...and the sub begging to orgasm, but does not, no matter what the Dom is doing. How can you do that? How can you keep yourself from orgasming? Or is it just a story thing?

For me this is the easiest of the two. i use forms of disassociation which replace that peak of arousal. Examples i could use: Just when i feel that tingle of an orgasm threatening to push me over the edge ...... i could think of my EX! Or, just thinking of anyone else who repulses me and makes my skin crawl in a BAD way always works. If the orgasm is being caused by direct Gspot, or clitoral stimulation ... shifting my position a bit so that the stimulation is not quite as direct, helps too. If my thoughts are centered on what He is doing, or saying to me at the moment, or if my mind is focused on a particular fantasy .. i replace those thoughts with something else real QUICK. Those replacement thoughts may include any other sexual act that i do not enjoy, and the details of that act taking place with some person who repulses me in a very BAD way.

my Master enjoys both telling me to orgasm, and telling me not to. i am not sure of which He enjoys more. i certainly can't choose between the two myself. Both are enjoyable, for lack of a better word.

 

[Leolover711]

With Shadowsdream thread, ok you female subs, hitting on orgasms, and some of the responses mentioning orgasm control, I started wondering...How does one go about controling an orgasm. Oh, I know you can tell the submissive they are not to orgasm by masturbation, and bring one to the edge but not go over...I am not talking about this. What I am curious about is making them orgasm on command...or is that even possible?

You see it in stories...'You may not cum till I say so"...and the sub begging to orgasm, but does not, no matter what the Dom is doing. How can you do that? How can you keep yourself from orgasming? Or is it just a story thing?

Personally, I have no control over it. Even if he said "Don't untill I say"...I cannot stop myself. Now it might be just a part of one, but still I cannot stop it from escaping. How can you?

Pushing the envelope one further, how about being able to cum on command and squirt? I find female ejacualtions incredibly erotic. I have only had two lovers that actually squirted. The first time I was convinced I had been peed on, but it definetly was not pee. My m is not a squirter, but MY oh My does she get wet when she cums. Love to hear other thoughts and experiences on this variation.

 

[graceanne]

Stop feeling,

start thinking about the shopping list, the laundry, balancing the cheque book....

Or poopy diapers, that always works for me.

I also can't orgasm without direct stimulation, so I don't come till he wants me to. It's not possible.

 

[Leolover711]

Or poopy diapers, that always works for me.

poopy diapers?! The sound you hear is the great air rushing out as My cock deflates. Talk about a mood zapping, buzz kill! LOL

 

[laurel-marie]

But let me ask this question....everyone says 'think of something else', how does the Dom feel about that? or is he /she just happy to have you obey no matter the means? I would feel guilty if i started thinking about the bills or people I don't like.
Sorry...I think oddly. Also, I am just trying to figure out all the angles. I will use some of the ideas here...um, sorry graceanne, the poopy diapers I won't be thinking about, but appreciate your comments ....

 

[Kajira Callista]

But let me ask this question....everyone says 'think of something else', how does the Dom feel about that? or is he /she just happy to have you obey no matter the means? I would feel guilty if i started thinking about the bills or people I don't like.
Sorry...I think oddly. Also, I am just trying to figure out all the angles. I will use some of the ideas here...um, sorry graceanne, the poopy diapers I won't be thinking about, but appreciate your comments ....

i dont think about anything else but controlling what my dominant expects me to control. maybe im weird but it is easier then thinking about something else which would take me too far away from the moment. You are giving him the control is the point i think. He is taking you where he wants you to go and you have to let go to get there. Make sense?

 

[grace9]

I thought until recently it was a "story thing" too!...I literally laughed my ass off at the idea of coming on command when I first heard of it. It sounded impossible! But I've (happily) been proven wrong.

For me, it was tough to get into at first. I couldn't control it. Like trying to herd cats!...After lots of practice I now love knowing that this part of me, so intimate and primal, belongs to J. That is a huge part of it for me and it adds to the experience that I have to wait for those words.

I agree with sinnOcent1's suggestions for disassociation, they help. Kind of like a counter-fantasy that gets your head out of it for a moment and keeps the tide from turning.

As for incorporating this into your life.....practice....practice....practice

Gracie~

 

[Leolover711]

But let me ask this question....everyone says 'think of something else', how does the Dom feel about that? or is he /she just happy to have you obey no matter the means? I would feel guilty if i started thinking about the bills or people I don't like.
Sorry...I think oddly. Also, I am just trying to figure out all the angles. I will use some of the ideas here...um, sorry graceanne, the poopy diapers I won't be thinking about, but appreciate your comments ....

I would be thorouhgly pissed off if I told My sub not to cum and she used dirty diapers to control it (or anything else other than her will) withou tasking My permission first. The means are everything, any dog can be made to obey, but in a true Master/slave relationship, the slave is their by hie/her own free will. That is the ultimate turn on, the subservience and control being given willingly and completely. It is also an incredilbe responsiblitly. *steps down from soapbox*

 

[grace9]

I gave this more thought and I guess it's tough to verbalize....not as simplistic as I put in my initial post......how it happens....what between James and I made it that way......how it's a beckoning and not a command.....how it's a call I can't nor want to resist.

I guess that says it more accurately than my last post did.

Gracie~

 

[serijules]

I am not allowed to think of or focus on anything or anyone else, so my trick to controlling my orgasms when I am not allowed to come is through begging. Begging is very humiliating for me, but it is even more humiliating when it is stale and rehearsed...so I try hard to keep my begging fresh and entertaining, but still honest. By focusing on pleasing her through begging properly, I am still focused on HER, but I am able to take my mind off my desire to orgasm enough to be able to hold back.

 

[laurel-marie]

i dont think about anything else but controlling what my dominant expects me to control. maybe im weird but it is easier then thinking about something else which would take me too far away from the moment. You are giving him the control is the point i think. He is taking you where he wants you to go and you have to let go to get there. Make sense?

Yes, you make sense.

 

[laurel-marie]

As for incorporating this into your life.....practice....practice....practice

Gracie~

This I believe will be the biggest key used with a form of the above info.
Again..thanks everyone

Now, lets see, I can cross of Orgasm Controll 101, next lesson will be.....

 

[FurryFury]

I think I need to work on this too!

Good thread!

Fury

 

[wolf2002]

Pushing the envelope one further, how about being able to cum on command and squirt? I find female ejacualtions incredibly erotic. I have only had two lovers that actually squirted. The first time I was convinced I had been peed on, but it definetly was not pee. My m is not a squirter, but MY oh My does she get wet when she cums. Love to hear other thoughts and experiences on this variation.

I share your kink for female ejaculation... I once talked to a sub on Lit who claimed she actually could squirt on command... she had a LDR with her Dom and at the rare occassions they met physically she would be so excited that one whisper in her ear would be enough to cum & squirt...

I asked in a thread if others had experience with this (can;t find the link)... some thought it was impossible and that she was bragging, but I believe one girl claimed they could too...