Coming Soon, In the Land of Doh!

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Looking for a family outing? How about the new "Creation Museum," slated to open sometime in the next few years in Petersburg, Kentucky?
The museum is touted as "a wonderful alternative to the evolutionary natural history museums that are turning countless minds against the gospel of Christ and the authority of the Scripture."

We mostly like the part about Adam's sin causing God to create dinosaurs.


See Below

http://www.answersingenesis.org/museum/walkthrough/images/T-Rex-F-Art2.jpg

T. rex

T. rex—the real king of the beasts.
That’s the terror that Adam’s sin unleashed!
You’ll run into this monster lurking near Adam and Eve.
How’s this possible? Find out soon!

 

[TheEarl]

They're very confident, declaring large swathes of modern science as false (such as a refutation of carbon-dating) because it doesn't support their factual document. Theoretically speaking, every discovery is based on a previous discovery and if you were to postulate that a mistake had been made at some point, then it would be possible to bring the system down.

However I remain dubious that a lot of experimentally proven science should be overturned because they disagree with a document not written by God's son, but by God's son's disciples, over 30 years later. I'm interested also in their claim that 'everything the Bible touches on is fact.' So I can take my Scottish neighbour as my own personal slave as stated in Leviticus then? And I should stone every woman who is raped in a public area, but who does not cry out, for she is obviously a harlot?

Interesting reasoning though.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

So I can take my Scottish neighbour as my own personal slave as stated in Leviticus then?

Earl, what does the bible say about the Welsh?

curious, Pear

 

[Guest]

Bloody hell, these people will stop at nothing. Oh yeah, of course, what was I thinking? The theory of evolution is all bollocks, isn't it?

I thought most sane, religious believe-in-the-christain-god-type-folk saw most of the bible's scriptures as metaphors (especially the book of Genesis), nothing more than that.

Obviously there's some literal thinkers out there who take literal reading a tad too far.

Lou

 

[Guest]

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Bloody hell, these people will stop at nothing. Oh yeah, of course, what was I thinking? The theory of evolution is all bollocks, isn't it?

I thought most sane, religious believe-in-the-christain-god-type-folk saw most of the bible's scriptures as metaphors (especially the book of Genesis), nothing more than that.

Obviously there's some literal thinkers out there who take literal reading a tad too far.

Lou

No, it's worse than that. Trust me. Here are some widespread beliefs among the Anti-Christian Evangelicals:

Gays are recruiting at the behest of Satan in order to corrupt the faithful.

Playing a video game that includes magic or reading a book about magic-users regardless of the themes or beliefs of the writer is a irredeemable sin.

Believing that works as well as faith are imortant in a Christian lifestyle will condemn you to an eternity of Hellfire.

Medical science is the devil's tools and only the power of Christ can heal diseases.

An all-loving God is about to reign firey whoop-ass on humanity except for those who believed in him but didn't try and emulate his deeds so they can laugh in petty sadism at all the atheists and hedonists.



It gets worse from there. Only Americans could have interpreted a divine figure to the left of Buddha as a right-wing hatemongerer.

 

[Moonlust]

Does it take seven days to see the whole museum?

 

[Guest]

Does it take seven days to see the whole museum?

Luc, that's some scary shit. The fact that a lot of these people have power and influence is worrying, to say the least.

Lou

P.S. Taltos, thanks, but it's not in the bible. Unless I'm to be interpreted as a modern day Jezebel.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

TheEarl,

Since I must confess that I failed Bible Study during the one year I attended a private Faith Debased High School I do not have your confidence at quoting Scripture.

Would you please clarify for me:

Is that every woman who is rape is too be stoned in the public square?

Or are the women to be stoned, only those who had the bad taste to be raped in the public square?

Finally, upon what are they to get storned, a fine Chianti, or Spanish plonk?




In any case, the Creation Museum is only a walk through plan on the internet, so far.

It will be interesting to see how this plan evolves.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

. . .

It gets worse from there. Only Americans could have interpreted a divine figure to the left of Buddha as a right-wing hatemongerer.

That's something I hadn't thought of before: are there evangelicals like this in other parts of the world? Or is it a uniquely American embarrassment?

I know that the Mormon Church is the fastest growing Christian denomination in the world, and they're spreading all over the place, but what about in the UK and Germany and the rest of Europe? Do you guys have to deal with these hysterics like we do?

Do you non-US people know what it's like to see huge billboards in the South threatening you with hell and damnation, and mammoth neon crosses standing on tops of buildings? To a non-Christian, it's scarier than seeing hammers and sickles.

I'm curious, because I think our brand of evangelicism is tied up with American provincialism.

---dr.M.

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

In any case, the Creation Museum is only a walk through plan on the internet, so far.

It will be interesting to see how this plan evolves.

Who knows? I think I stopped banging my head against the wall at these non-Christian Evangelican initiatives right after I read the story of the woman who said that it was important to keep gays from marrying in order to prevent a repeat of the Holocaust because apparently history lied about gays being one of the groups eliminated for racial purity and were in fact secretly running everything.

Either that or the survey which found out that the most angry opposition to a hypothetical case in which a woman's fetus could be removed painlessly, raised artificially with no defects, and placed in an adoption program were from pro-lifers because (you guessed it) the debate was really about punishing promiscuity.

Or any other migraine inducing headline to come from the group who's devotion to Jesus begins and ends on the least trusted and most anti-Christ apostle yet feel they understand "moral" issues better than Christ himself.

 

[oggbashan]

Earl, what does the bible say about the Welsh?

curious, Pear

In the revised Welsh Bible, Jesus was born in Cardiff and crucified at Caerleon. The flight to Egypt was across the Severn to that heathen land England.

(Aside) King Arthur is descended from one of the disciples and married that good Welshwoman Guinevere (the one who betrayed him was his second wife, a wicked Englishwoman he renamed Guinevere to avoid saying the wrong name in bed). The second wife never learned Welsh so she didn't understand how much Arthur loved her. Welsh love poems don't translate. As for Lancelot - he was a dastardly Frenchman.

All the disciples sang hymns (in Welsh) except Judas who HAD to be an incomer from England.

The Welsh are the chosen people. The rest of the world are damned, eternally damned, look you, for having the temerity not to be Welsh. If you are Welsh and cannot sing then you must be a miserable sinner or pretending to be Welsh.

Og, born in Wales, of course.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

Ogg, that was quite humourous, thank you.

Grinning, Perdita

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Does it take seven days to see the whole museum?

No, only 6. You have to rest on the 7th. Duh.

 

[oggbashan]

That's something I hadn't thought of before: are there evangelicals like this in other parts of the world? Or is it a uniquely American embarrassment?
...
---dr.M.

They exist in the UK as well but are very much a fringe movement except in the Anglican Church. The Anglican Church has real problems between their evangelicals and their traditionalists. However Anglican evangelicals are much more reasonable (and reasoning) than the US variety.

Our evangelicals who have their own churches vary from being enthusiastic worshippers to severely weird. Our local ones do not recognise any other church in our town as being 'Christian' and hate Roman Catholics with a fervour that is difficult to comprehend. All the other churches actually belong to an organisation called 'Churches Together' and cooperate on charitable and civic initiatives.

The evangelicals that an American evangelical would recognise are in very small numbers. Locally they are probably outnumbered by both the practising Jews and Muslims, and maybe even the Wiccans.

Og

 

[oggbashan]

Is it called that because they have wales there?

It is called Cymru.

I referred to it as Wales because that is what the benighted English call the Principality and this site is conducted in English.

If you say 'Wales' we might also understand you to mean His Royal Highness The Prince Of Wales, Heir Apparent to the Throne of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

Og
(Who can't speak Welsh because his parents removed him from his birthplace to the Great Wen of London before he went to school)

 

[LadyJeanne]

I've been vaguely amused by the controversy surrounding the recent United Church of Christ television ads. The UCC is trying to attract people to the church and submitted a commercial which shows bouncer-type guys in front of a church turning people away - minorities and gays.

UCCs line is: Jesus didn't turn people away. Neither do we.

A couple of the networks are refusing to air it. And some churches feel it's meant as an attack on their beliefs. UCC is defending its message as an "all-inclusive" one.

Maybe they should just open a theme park instead.

 

[Moonlust]

No, only 6. You have to rest on the 7th. Duh.

THANK YOU!!!

I was hoping someone would say that, or that you have to stay at their theme hotel on the 7th or something...

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I seem to be missing a damn fine soap opera by sleeping in on Sunday Morning.

A week or so ago I read that pastors of one of the churches in Canada are trying to form a union to protect them from the vengeful vagaries of their parishioners. Can’t remember the breed of church, nor the union.

What is the Canadian equivalent to the AFL-CIO?




Editted to add:

This Sermon has been brought to you through the cooperation of The United Church of Canada and Pastor Bob Spongpants, Canadian Auto Workers, Local 32-150

 

[Evil Alpaca]

. . . vengeful vagaries . . .

k

I LOVE that phrase!

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Canada's overtaxed clergy look for the union label
Citing tough working conditions, some United Church ministers are joining with the Canadian Auto Workers.

November 24, 2004
By Susan Bourette
Correspondent of The Christian Science Monitor

TORONTO – When the phone rang near midnight, Jim Evans shuddered at the thought of the whispered taunts that would come from the other end of the line. The Rev. Mr. Evans, minister for the United Church of Canada, was being stalked by a woman from his own congregation. Ever since he'd rebuffed her sexual advances, the late-night telephone calls had become a daily ritual. For nearly five years he asked church elders to intervene, but they refused.

"Those were the darkest hours," he recalls, having only recently fled his small-town ministry in southern Ontario at the urging of the police, who said his life could be in danger. "There were so many times when I thought about just walking away from it all. But I love the church, and I felt that somehow I had to find a way to honor my call to the ministry."

Promoting godliness in a secular age is no longer the only challenge for some of Canada's clergy. Between low pay and stressful working conditions, more ministers say they are feeling overtaxed - and not finding relief within traditional church channels. So instead of turning to the Bible for guidance, they are seeking salvation in a place once reserved for coal miners and dockworkers: the union.


Complete Article

 

[zephrbabe]

As to Evangelicals being really important, it's true: George W. Bush is one. If I didn't totally despise him before... He creeps me out, big time.

About the whole magic being sin thing: Harry Potter is one of the most contested books (after stuff like "Heather Has Two Mommies," "Hucleberry Finn," and "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings") in print. It's the new choice for book-burning; and that's interesting because the books get bigger and bigger, so the burning will last so much longer.

I saw a show on CNN about evangelical Christians. They showed a clip of a young girl (about 11) talking rather fluently about how Jesus died for her sins. Her sins? She's 11, she doesn't have any sins! *shiver* It's like in Dante's The Inferno: even babies go to Hell, because they weren't baptized.

A few years ago, I was in Idaho for a huge scouting camporee. I was there with a well-mixed group (I mean ethnically and religiously); I myself am Wiccan, and my best friend is Jewish. Now, I never give her Judaism a second thought, because it's a non-issue- making a fuss about that would be like making a fuss that people need water to survive. Anyway, we were talking with some girls (I'm not sure where they were from), and one asked my buddy what kind of songs they sang at her church. She answered that she's Jewish, and they don't sing at temple ("We sort of chant," she said, trying to make a joke). That group didn't talk with her after that.

Not long after, a different girl complimented me on my pentacle pendant (not knowing what it was), and asked me about it. I told her it meant I was Wiccan, like wearing a cross meant you were Christian. She gave me a blank look and a weak smile; she didn't know what I was talking about. Later on, someone else asked me the same thing, and got the same answer, but she turned her back on me- actually turned her back!- and didn't talk to me again.

That is some wierd shit going on. I mean, scouting has a big push on being PC, so I was taken aback at the less than positive response. I guess it's all some people can do to admit other religions exist, let alone learn about them.

Bah- that's why I live in San Francisco, and not the boonies of Idaho.

-Kathryn

 

[zephrbabe]

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

This always makes me feel better about fanatical religions; especially the part about how everyone has to go to Hell.

This is forwarded from an OU graduate, citing one of Dr. Schlambaugh's final test questions for his final exam of 1997. Dr. Schlambaugh of the U. of Oklahoma Chemical Engineering Dept. is known for asking questions on his finals like: "Why do airplanes fly?"

In May 1997, the "Momentum, Heat, and Mass Transfer II" final exam question was: "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof." Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (1) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following: "First, we postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it does not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.

With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.

[A1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until....all Hell breaks loose.

[A2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until....Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa Banyan during freshman year, that, "It'll be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and taking into account that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then [A2] cannot be true.....thus, Hell is exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

(1) Boyle's Law: pV=nRT; pressure x Volume = constant

 

[rgraham666]

PMSL!