collar me

[Imashyguy]

what is with that website? So much hate.

 

[fergus4]

You think so? huh. I am actually having a bit of good fortune with that site. Sure, it takes a little time and patience, but there are some good people there.

fergus

 

[Slave to women]

Which website??? Collar me????? I'm gonna have to try it out

 

[subvirgin]

collarme kind of sucks...

I have only been on that site for like a day and people are so mean! Not everybody, but more than you might think...

Today I logged on (made my account last night - my name there is submissivevirgin, by the way) and I had a message from some random guy in ohio telling me to go fuck myself. Nice, huh?

Then this guy messages me on collarme, asking what I'm looking for. So I tell him that, with all due respect, it says in my profile what I'mlooking for. I also say that I'd rather be asked direct questions and vague questions (because I'm not really sure how to answer vague questions and even if I am sure, I'll probably leave something out). He writes back telling me that I'm being an asshole and I shouldn't say in my profile that assholes need not contact me when I'm going to be one myself. Also, apparently I won't get very far in bdsm or in life in general if I act the way I do.

I'm pretty sure that collarme offers a class in how to be a complete dick and a lot of people must take advantage of it.

But, on collarme, as in life, there are good people and bad people and I guess you just have to weed out the bad before you can get to the good sometimes

 

[Slave to women]

You know what if the females are half as evil as the males I'm sold.

 

[the captians wench]

I've found a lot of rather nice people there. But I have come across a few fem dommes that scare the shit out of me.

 

[DVS]

I'm a Dom trying to meet submissive women on collarme. It's been about a year, now, and no real bites. I've got many years of experience, write porn, a good personality, make my own toys, etc., but the subs I write to don't even bother to write back.

Collarme is a free site so there will be a lot of trolls, posers, jack offs, wannabes, fakes, 14 year old kids, ass holes looking for fun, as well as the honest person that really wants to find a partner. Trouble is, the honest group is far out numbered by the rest.

Take it all in stride. Any pay sites would weed out the riff raff, but also would end up charging for everything and anything, like alt.com does. Anything you want to do, you gotta pay them for it. Anything worth doing...pay up, first.

Give me a decent site that doesn't charge for everything, but forces honesty in all profiles and messages or you're banned from the site...like such a place would exist.

I feel like I'm the sub dealing with forced humilaition when I message a sub in my area. And, some sound like they are the Dom when writing back, telling me they think I'm lying...that there's no way I could what I say. I'm confused. Honesty should be the way to get though the posers and fakers, but it seems I am seen as a poser and a faker, when I'm totally honest.

Give me just 5 minutes with one of these submissive bitches, and I'll have her stripped naked, bound and drooling from behind her ball gag...whimpering her need for sexual release, shivering from my touch and begging for my cock inside her. But first, I gotta get one to answer my message.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

I joined collarme a few months ago and getting responses was not the problem getting the too good to be true, nightmares to stop posting me was the problem. I have stopped going there. Honesty is indeed a rare thing in these sites Lit included, and because of that I tend to play more when posting and deliver true honesty in all PMs and 1:1 conversations.

Due to the nature of my profession, I have little difficulty judging the character of people I talk to and I have found only one man on collarme I would submit if the chemistry were right but alas the great divide seperates us. I am an honest, well educated, attractive woman who enjoys a little B&D so why is so difficult to find that one might ask.

Being the novice I am and easily frightened by the more bizarre Doms, I too wish there were a site that wasn't in existance to drain my pocketbook and did screen well its clients. I would be most willing to take advantage of such a site.

Oh and DVS were I anywhere near the Mid West I would at the very least answer your add. I find you intriguing. and not to mention a little intimidating.

I'm a Dom trying to meet submissive women on collarme. It's been about a year, now, and no real bites. I've got many years of experience, write porn, a good personality, make my own toys, etc., but the subs I write to don't even bother to write back.

Collarme is a free site so there will be a lot of trolls, posers, jack offs, wannabes, fakes, 14 year old kids, ass holes looking for fun, as well as the honest person that really wants to find a partner. Trouble is, the honest group is far out numbered by the rest.

Take it all in stride. Any pay sites would weed out the riff raff, but also would end up charging for everything and anything, like alt.com does. Anything you want to do, you gotta pay them for it. Anything worth doing...pay up, first.

Give me a decent site that doesn't charge for everything, but forces honesty in all profiles and messages or you're banned from the site...like such a place would exist.

I feel like I'm the sub dealing with forced humilaition when I message a sub in my area. And, some sound like they are the Dom when writing back, telling me they think I'm lying...that there's no way I could what I say. I'm confused. Honesty should be the way to get though the posers and fakers, but it seems I am seen as a poser and a faker, when I'm totally honest.

Give me just 5 minutes with one of these submissive bitches, and I'll have her stripped naked, bound and drooling from behind her ball gag...whimpering her need for sexual release, shivering from my touch and begging for my cock inside her. But first, I gotta get one to answer my message.

 

[INDomCouple]

collarme is almost a waste of space. almost.

most of the submissives We have met there are quite dominant. Nothing like being topped from the bottom!

I have always come back to Literotica - for chat and for posting personals or just to share thoughts. Good people here and they work hard to keep it real.

 

[subvirgin]

I agree that I've seen a lot of subs on collarme who seem dominant, but I'm a sub and I've been called dominant or told that I shouldn't be pretending to like being submissive when I'm really a domme or whatever, because people read my profile and take it the wrong way.

To me, there's a big difference between demanding that someone do something and telling people up front what I will or won't do (and then there are a whole bunch of maybes in between) and taking precautions for my personal safety and my reputation.

If I put a picture of myself up somewhere and the wrong person sees it, I'm screwed (though maybe not literally). If I give someone too much information and they're psycho, I could get seriously hurt. Even if I didn't get hurt and someone just scared the hell out of me, it's not worth it.

Subs are people too, and they have a right to protect themselves, ESPECIALLY on a site like collarme (or here at lit) without being called names or being told that they're too dominant to be real subs.

 

[talkie]

I am new to all this myself and have found it very hard to start a search for someone. I thought about trying collar me but now maybe I'll stick to Lit and see what happens. I am open to talking online if any one is interested.

 

[Slave to women]

I agree that I've seen a lot of subs on collarme who seem dominant, but I'm a sub and I've been called dominant or told that I shouldn't be pretending to like being submissive when I'm really a domme or whatever, because people read my profile and take it the wrong way.

To me, there's a big difference between demanding that someone do something and telling people up front what I will or won't do (and then there are a whole bunch of maybes in between) and taking precautions for my personal safety and my reputation.

If I put a picture of myself up somewhere and the wrong person sees it, I'm screwed (though maybe not literally). If I give someone too much information and they're psycho, I could get seriously hurt. Even if I didn't get hurt and someone just scared the hell out of me, it's not worth it.

Subs are people too, and they have a right to protect themselves, ESPECIALLY on a site like collarme (or here at lit) without being called names or being told that they're too dominant to be real subs.

I agree completely!!

 

[subvirgin]

I am new to all this myself and have found it very hard to start a search for someone. I thought about trying collar me but now maybe I'll stick to Lit and see what happens. I am open to talking online if any one is interested.

Try it if you want to, but be very careful. It seems like I've found a person or two there who actually seem real and don't mind my alleged dominant-submissiveness. Just watch out for yourself, because you can't count on anybody else at that site to watch out for you. (Not that they should or anything, I'm just saying...)

 

[comtec2005]

I've been on collarme for a couple of months now. I've chatted with a couple of subs, but they didn't work out. Have also been chatting with a sub that is a definite possibility, but distance is posing a problem. I insist on getting to know each other a bit online first, then work toward meeting. As far as the nut cases, they are everywhere on the web. Regarding dominant subs, some people are very dominant in real life or work, but want to let go, especially sexually. Submission gives them a way to do that.

Good luck in your search, and if any ladies would like to chat and see where it goes, send me a PM.

Try it if you want to, but be very careful. It seems like I've found a person or two there who actually seem real and don't mind my alleged dominant-submissiveness. Just watch out for yourself, because you can't count on anybody else at that site to watch out for you. (Not that they should or anything, I'm just saying...)

 

[Betticus]

I'm a Dom trying to meet submissive women on collarme. It's been about a year, now, and no real bites. I've got many years of experience, write porn, a good personality, make my own toys, etc., but the subs I write to don't even bother to write back.

Collarme is a free site so there will be a lot of trolls, posers, jack offs, wannabes, fakes, 14 year old kids, ass holes looking for fun, as well as the honest person that really wants to find a partner. Trouble is, the honest group is far out numbered by the rest.

Take it all in stride. Any pay sites would weed out the riff raff, but also would end up charging for everything and anything, like alt.com does. Anything you want to do, you gotta pay them for it. Anything worth doing...pay up, first.

Give me a decent site that doesn't charge for everything, but forces honesty in all profiles and messages or you're banned from the site...like such a place would exist.

I feel like I'm the sub dealing with forced humilaition when I message a sub in my area. And, some sound like they are the Dom when writing back, telling me they think I'm lying...that there's no way I could what I say. I'm confused. Honesty should be the way to get though the posers and fakers, but it seems I am seen as a poser and a faker, when I'm totally honest.

Give me just 5 minutes with one of these submissive bitches, and I'll have her stripped naked, bound and drooling from behind her ball gag...whimpering her need for sexual release, shivering from my touch and begging for my cock inside her. But first, I gotta get one to answer my message.

I get some answers but much like the ones you get it doesn't seem to have anything to do with honesty. I'm not about to put myself through some kind of online auction or audition for some girl. They send mixed messages or are outright impolite.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

I get some answers but much like the ones you get it doesn't seem to have anything to do with honesty. I'm not about to put myself through some kind of online auction or audition for some girl. They send mixed messages or are outright impolite.

I have chatted with many people about collarme and none have had anything good to say about the site. Sounds to me like it may be full of men hating lesbians.

 

[unknown_quantit]

I agree that I've seen a lot of subs on collarme who seem dominant, but I'm a sub and I've been called dominant or told that I shouldn't be pretending to like being submissive when I'm really a domme or whatever, because people read my profile and take it the wrong way.

To me, there's a big difference between demanding that someone do something and telling people up front what I will or won't do (and then there are a whole bunch of maybes in between) and taking precautions for my personal safety and my reputation.

If I put a picture of myself up somewhere and the wrong person sees it, I'm screwed (though maybe not literally). If I give someone too much information and they're psycho, I could get seriously hurt. Even if I didn't get hurt and someone just scared the hell out of me, it's not worth it.

Subs are people too, and they have a right to protect themselves, ESPECIALLY on a site like collarme (or here at lit) without being called names or being told that they're too dominant to be real subs.

You are a sub with definity boundries that you do not want to cross. It is just the same as setting hard limits before you start a scene. As you and your dominant get to know each other more and explore the limits of your relationship you can probably modify your boundries maybe pushing them out more to the edges or perhaps taking them in a few notches if you were overly ambitious.

 

[DVS]

Limits are limits and that's that. Some are hard and should never be crossed and some are soft, and with trust, those can maybe be tested. But, above and beyond that, limits are limits for a reason and if somebody doesn't respect your limits then that person can not be trusted. Trust is a very large part of a working BDSM relationship and if the trust isn't there, neither is the SS&C relationship.

Meeting on a web site, you don't know who anybody is, until you actually meet them face to face and start to develop a friendship with them. For a while you will continue to have some doubts, depending on how quickly you get to know someone.

If I were a sub and had set certain limits and someone told me the fact that I set those limits labeled me as a Dom, I'd think he (or her) wasn't a SS&C player. More so, I'd think that person wasn't even in the game at all, but probably one of those 14 year olds (to coin a phrase) looking for an easy fuck. My limits were keeiping them from getting what they wanted. Isn't that part of what limits are designed to do?

Now, because certain limits shouldn't be crossed, you should be sure you are not setting yours too high. If you say you won't do what everyone else likes, you're obviously not going to get many responses. But, if you feel strongly about your limits, you need to stick with them, and let those bashing messages slide into the trash.

And, who knows...when you do meet someone and develop a trust, it is possible the limits you have now could change. Having a trust in someone will do a lot towards changing your limits. It's also possible that during negociations with someone you might learn more about then and decide some of your limits are no longer necessary. But, only you should decide that and not from soneone else's influence. They are your limits and you set them for a reason. Unless that reason changes, there's no reason to change your limits.

Most people know this, but some newbies don't. The submissive is in charge. Sure, it sounds unusual, and unlikely, because they are the one getting sexually used, spanked, tied up, etc. But, it's true. Just as in a vanilla relationship, if the submissive says "no", it doesn't happen. No means no. Once the relationship is negociated, the sub's limits are rspected, and it only looks like the Dom is in charge. The sub is allowing the Dom to do those things.

As trust develops, the sub's limits might change allowing more control to the Dom. Even if that happens, it's still the sub's option to say "no" and reinstate any limits that were negociated away. If the Dom doesn't adhere to this, I'd say the relationship is in danger and the sub might be, too. The Dom isn't sticking with the SS&C rules of play.

If someone complains that your limits are too high, it could also mean they don't know this fact or are hoping you aren't aware of it and they can take advantage of that. These are the people you want to avoid because they are likely out for a quicky or maybe looking for someone to hurt.

I've disliked seeing profiles on a place like Collarme that show a 19 year old male that considers himself a Master. Sometimes I'm even concerned he considers himself a Dom. Sure, everybody has to start somewhere, and being up front about it and saying you are just a newbie yourself can be a total turn off. So, those little white lies start.

Subs want someone who knows what they're doing. Finding someone who knows what they're doing, and likes the same things you do as well as trust isn't easy. Then there is the physical aspect of it. Then, the distance factor is there. If you are picky, the chances you are going to find that perfect person are against you. I see a lot of profiles where they say they are looking for that special someone. Shit, who isn't? (well, maybe not that 14 year old).

There's a fine line you have to walk with everything that's involved. Your sexual wants and needs, your physical desires and your limits. Sure, we all want that special perfect person to come along, but that can take time.

There's an old Steven Stills song.."Love the One You're With" that has a line in it..."if you can't find the one you love, then love the one your with." I totally agree with that line...to a point. If you can't find that perfect person and someone comes along and says they like you, but you are being too demanding with your limits, you might want to take a second look at your limits.

If it's been a while, and you're not getting any good responses to your profile, it could be you are being too restrictive in what you want to happen...or don't want. Only you can decide that, though. But, if it's that 14 year old playing a scam on you, it's also possible your limits are working just fine!


EDITED...Sorry, I tend to get long winded at times. I can type fast, but I try not to type faster than I"m thinking.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Thank-you for this from the bottom of this woman's heart. Many burning questions have been well answered.

The check's in the mail.

Oh and have a Merrry Christmas!

Limits are limits and that's that. Some are hard and should never be crossed and some are soft, and with trust, those can maybe be tested. But, above and beyond that, limits are limits for a reason and if somebody doesn't respect your limits then that person can not be trusted. Trust is a very large part of a working BDSM relationship and if the trust isn't there, neither is the SS&C relationship.

Meeting on a web site, you don't know who anybody is, until you actually meet them face to face and start to develop a friendship with them. For a while you will continue to have some doubts, depending on how quickly you get to know someone.

If I were a sub and had set certain limits and someone told me the fact that I set those limits labeled me as a Dom, I'd think he (or her) wasn't a SS&C player. More so, I'd think that person wasn't even in the game at all, but probably one of those 14 year olds (to coin a phrase) looking for an easy fuck. My limits were keeiping them from getting what they wanted. Isn't that part of what limits are designed to do?

Now, because certain limits shouldn't be crossed, you should be sure you are not setting yours too high. If you say you won't do what everyone else likes, you're obviously not going to get many responses. But, if you feel strongly about your limits, you need to stick with them, and let those bashing messages slide into the trash.

And, who knows...when you do meet someone and develop a trust, it is possible the limits you have now could change. Having a trust in someone will do a lot towards changing your limits. It's also possible that during negociations with someone you might learn more about then and decide some of your limits are no longer necessary. But, only you should decide that and not from soneone else's influence. They are your limits and you set them for a reason. Unless that reason changes, there's no reason to change your limits.

Most people know this, but some newbies don't. The submissive is in charge. Sure, it sounds unusual, and unlikely, because they are the one getting sexually used, spanked, tied up, etc. But, it's true. Just as in a vanilla relationship, if the submissive says "no", it doesn't happen. No means no. Once the relationship is negociated, the sub's limits are rspected, and it only looks like the Dom is in charge. The sub is allowing the Dom to do those things.

As trust develops, the sub's limits might change allowing more control to the Dom. Even if that happens, it's still the sub's option to say "no" and reinstate any limits that were negociated away. If the Dom doesn't adhere to this, I'd say the relationship is in danger and the sub might be, too. The Dom isn't sticking with the SS&C rules of play.

If someone complains that your limits are too high, it could also mean they don't know this fact or are hoping you aren't aware of it and they can take advantage of that. These are the people you want to avoid because they are likely out for a quicky or maybe looking for someone to hurt.

I've disliked seeing profiles on a place like Collarme that show a 19 year old male that considers himself a Master. Sometimes I'm even concerned he considers himself a Dom. Sure, everybody has to start somewhere, and being up front about it and saying you are just a newbie yourself can be a total turn off. So, those little white lies start.

Subs want someone who knows what they're doing. Finding someone who knows what they're doing, and likes the same things you do as well as trust isn't easy. Then there is the physical aspect of it. Then, the distance factor is there. If you are picky, the chances you are going to find that perfect person are against you. I see a lot of profiles where they say they are looking for that special someone. Shit, who isn't? (well, maybe not that 14 year old).

There's a fine line you have to walk with everything that's involved. Your sexual wants and needs, your physical desires and your limits. Sure, we all want that special perfect person to come along, but that can take time.

There's an old Steven Stills song.."Love the One You're With" that has a line in it..."if you can't find the one you love, then love the one your with." I totally agree with that line...to a point. If you can't find that perfect person and someone comes along and says they like you, but you are being too demanding with your limits, you might want to take a second look at your limits.

If it's been a while, and you're not getting any good responses to your profile, it could be you are being too restrictive in what you want to happen...or don't want. Only you can decide that, though. But, if it's that 14 year old playing a scam on you, it's also possible your limits are working just fine!


EDITED...Sorry, I tend to get long winded at times. I can type fast, but I try not to type faster than I"m thinking.

 

[unknown_quantit]

Thank-you for this from the bottom of this woman's heart. Many burning questions have been well answered.

The check's in the mail.

Oh and have a Merrry Christmas!

Agreed you said exactly what I was trying to say just better. Experience talking I would say.

 

[OneNubianMaster]

As a Dominant who has a profile on collarme, I've recieved very few responses to what I feel is a very sincere representation of who I am and what I want. I also dont have my picture on my profile. The few responses I have recieved have been from submissives who I simply was not interested in. Looking on the other side of the equation, I understand a female submissive who places her picture on her profile will recieve TONS of responses and from those who would possibly make her wary and jaded of most anyone who contacts them.
Patience and common sense must be exhibited by anyone, male, female, sub and dom these days.