Coins of the Realms - (Closed)
- Thread starter Zircon
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Zircon
Sedang Berasmara
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- 1,051
The Coins
The day was warm and lazy. A perfect Sunday in my books. A day of rest in the easy chair. The trash need not be taken out until the next morning. Nothing in the house needed fixing, as far as I knew. Well, nothing life-threatening needed fixing anyway.
So, I had pretty much planned the day out just watching football or just falling asleep on my chair. Or I could mess around with my new home theater system until I fall asleep in my chair. Moreover, the Redskins were playing the Cowboys today. I had already prayed to all of the known Gods that the Cowboys' owner would die a horrible death today. And the Cowboys being slaughtered by the Redskins. What irony in that statement. Overall, it was supposed to be a good day.
But it didn’t turn out that way. Why? Because here I am, weaving through traffic, on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Don’t these other people have anything better to do than be in my way on a Sunday afternoon? You can tell that I was not a happy man at this point in time.
‘HEY LADY! TRANSPORTING CHILDREN IS NOT A LICENSE TO DRIVE AT 20 IN A 55 ZONE!’
Nope, I was not a happy man. But my beautiful wife, sitting pretty in her floral summer dress beside me, was a happy person. Why? Because she had managed to blackmail and cajoled me into going antique hunting with her. Yeah, I’m basically a weak man. A little pout on her lips and a little teardrop forming in her eyes were enough for me to go get dressed and start up the car. Gods, I hate myself for being unable to resist her charms, tricks even.
I had frequently wondered why did I not say No, when the priest asked that fateful question. ‘Do you, James Field, take this woman, Costanza Tortorico, to be your lawfully wedded wife…’ ‘NO…’ would have shaken the entire church right down to the concrete foundation. Of course, Connie would have hunted me down eventually, no matter where I ran. Death would be a blessing, but knowing her after all these years, she would have castrated me with a dull butter knife and left me bleeding to death. And Gods knows what her mother would have done to me. Ever seen an enraged Italian woman with a pizza slicer? You get the idea…
And so here I am, with one hand on the wheel, and the other holding Connie’s hand, hunting for those little antiques in some out of the way mom-and-pop owned store. It was not really that I dreaded shopping with her. She had a very good eye for art. And our house was very tastefully decorated. I’m proud to show off my house. Well, it was because the timing of the little excursion was out. Notwithstanding football, I had planned for an afternoon romp with her.
Yeah, I know. Horniness is inherent in all men. Even the statistics show it. Men have a ‘dirty’ thought every 30 seconds or so. And if you’re still wondering, let me ask you this question then. When was the last time you had sex in full broad daylight? Couldn’t remember? Well, me neither. Besides, Cosmo™ said that a little planned seduction is healthy for a relationship.
We took the scenic route, but I should write to my Congressman, Congressperson in our case, since the advent of PCism. I should complain about the Department of Transportation giving driving licenses to slow folks. If these people want to go slow, then they should park their car and get out and walk! Walking is healthy. I wish my Jeep were not so new; otherwise, a little bit of a bent fender would not hurt me so much. I gritted my teeth and concentrated on not hitting anyone.
The day was warm and lazy. A perfect Sunday in my books. A day of rest in the easy chair. The trash need not be taken out until the next morning. Nothing in the house needed fixing, as far as I knew. Well, nothing life-threatening needed fixing anyway.
So, I had pretty much planned the day out just watching football or just falling asleep on my chair. Or I could mess around with my new home theater system until I fall asleep in my chair. Moreover, the Redskins were playing the Cowboys today. I had already prayed to all of the known Gods that the Cowboys' owner would die a horrible death today. And the Cowboys being slaughtered by the Redskins. What irony in that statement. Overall, it was supposed to be a good day.
But it didn’t turn out that way. Why? Because here I am, weaving through traffic, on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Don’t these other people have anything better to do than be in my way on a Sunday afternoon? You can tell that I was not a happy man at this point in time.
‘HEY LADY! TRANSPORTING CHILDREN IS NOT A LICENSE TO DRIVE AT 20 IN A 55 ZONE!’
Nope, I was not a happy man. But my beautiful wife, sitting pretty in her floral summer dress beside me, was a happy person. Why? Because she had managed to blackmail and cajoled me into going antique hunting with her. Yeah, I’m basically a weak man. A little pout on her lips and a little teardrop forming in her eyes were enough for me to go get dressed and start up the car. Gods, I hate myself for being unable to resist her charms, tricks even.
I had frequently wondered why did I not say No, when the priest asked that fateful question. ‘Do you, James Field, take this woman, Costanza Tortorico, to be your lawfully wedded wife…’ ‘NO…’ would have shaken the entire church right down to the concrete foundation. Of course, Connie would have hunted me down eventually, no matter where I ran. Death would be a blessing, but knowing her after all these years, she would have castrated me with a dull butter knife and left me bleeding to death. And Gods knows what her mother would have done to me. Ever seen an enraged Italian woman with a pizza slicer? You get the idea…
And so here I am, with one hand on the wheel, and the other holding Connie’s hand, hunting for those little antiques in some out of the way mom-and-pop owned store. It was not really that I dreaded shopping with her. She had a very good eye for art. And our house was very tastefully decorated. I’m proud to show off my house. Well, it was because the timing of the little excursion was out. Notwithstanding football, I had planned for an afternoon romp with her.
Yeah, I know. Horniness is inherent in all men. Even the statistics show it. Men have a ‘dirty’ thought every 30 seconds or so. And if you’re still wondering, let me ask you this question then. When was the last time you had sex in full broad daylight? Couldn’t remember? Well, me neither. Besides, Cosmo™ said that a little planned seduction is healthy for a relationship.
We took the scenic route, but I should write to my Congressman, Congressperson in our case, since the advent of PCism. I should complain about the Department of Transportation giving driving licenses to slow folks. If these people want to go slow, then they should park their car and get out and walk! Walking is healthy. I wish my Jeep were not so new; otherwise, a little bit of a bent fender would not hurt me so much. I gritted my teeth and concentrated on not hitting anyone.
Maid of Marvels
Lurking with Intent
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2001
- Posts
- 5,184
Connie
Jim wove his way through the traffic, pretending to be unhappy about our little excursion. I loved the way he grumbled and griped and hollered at the other drivers on the road and I never let him know that they didn't notice him at all. Every husband has to be permitted his delusions of grandeur on occasion.
He had almost resisted. I say almost because I had to resort to using "The Loud Sigh" accompanied by the obligatory "Tear in the Corner of My Eye" and "Fine" routine. But... all had gone well and I was pleased that I hadn't lost my touch after all these years. Our hands entwined, I smiled happily, clutching the ad I had pulled from the Sunday paper
Antiques!
All Kinds, At Fair Prices!
In business since 1963
142 Mott Street
Collingwood Park
"There it is!" I said excitedly after spotting the store and checking the paper one more time just to be certain. Jim drove right past. You know, you'd think for as many years as I've been doing the navigating, he'd learn to take directions a little bit better. *loud sigh*
Horn blaring and temper flaring, Jim finally made a turn three blocks up. He muttered unintelligible words under his breath until we had finally circled back and pulled into a parking place. Giving a contented sigh, I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Well, come on! We're here!"
Not waiting for him to come around, I opened the car door and got out. The word ANTIQUES was scrawled in a half moon across the dingy window in flaking gold paint. I pressed my face against the glass, cupping my hands around my eyes to peer inside. Unable to see much, I let myself in setting a bell jingling quietly somewhere in the back of the dimly lit store.
Jim wove his way through the traffic, pretending to be unhappy about our little excursion. I loved the way he grumbled and griped and hollered at the other drivers on the road and I never let him know that they didn't notice him at all. Every husband has to be permitted his delusions of grandeur on occasion.
He had almost resisted. I say almost because I had to resort to using "The Loud Sigh" accompanied by the obligatory "Tear in the Corner of My Eye" and "Fine" routine. But... all had gone well and I was pleased that I hadn't lost my touch after all these years. Our hands entwined, I smiled happily, clutching the ad I had pulled from the Sunday paper
Antiques!
All Kinds, At Fair Prices!
In business since 1963
142 Mott Street
Collingwood Park
"There it is!" I said excitedly after spotting the store and checking the paper one more time just to be certain. Jim drove right past. You know, you'd think for as many years as I've been doing the navigating, he'd learn to take directions a little bit better. *loud sigh*
Horn blaring and temper flaring, Jim finally made a turn three blocks up. He muttered unintelligible words under his breath until we had finally circled back and pulled into a parking place. Giving a contented sigh, I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Well, come on! We're here!"
Not waiting for him to come around, I opened the car door and got out. The word ANTIQUES was scrawled in a half moon across the dingy window in flaking gold paint. I pressed my face against the glass, cupping my hands around my eyes to peer inside. Unable to see much, I let myself in setting a bell jingling quietly somewhere in the back of the dimly lit store.
Last edited:
Zircon
Sedang Berasmara
- Joined
- May 6, 2002
- Posts
- 1,051
The Coins
Yeah, the title says it all, to the point. No BS. Which was why I liked it. I did not see any other cars parked outside. I guess the other guys had better sense than to give in to their wives. The store itself was an old building. The paint job on the wooden walls looked very faded. It was like the store and the stuff that it sells were meant for each other.
The little tingling bell got on my nerves from the get-go. Once inside, Connie oomphed and ahhhed at the things. We were supposed to be looking for a very nice table lamp for our bedroom. The old one broke beyond fixing. At least beyond my patience to fix it. We usually read in bed, and so a table lamp was necessary. Besides, I like to leave the light on to see what I’m doing while we were making love.
The inside was as usual, dark and musty smelling. I left my wife to her own perusing. I shuddered at the thought of doing Spring-cleaning in here. An army would get the job done, if given enough time.
‘Good afternoon. I’m Hal. How may I help you?’
The soft voice came from nowhere and I nearly jumped out of my shoes. An old man was addressing me. And the funny thing was that his eyes were full of mirth and life. Like great orbs shining in the dark. Quite disconcerting when he looked directly at me.
‘That’s OK. I’m just looking. It’s my wife who wants something. Thank you.’
He disappeared amongst the heaps of antique after nodding. This shop was like the multitudes that I’ve been in. There were treasures for sure, but enough time must be spent digging the treasures out from all the junk. I saw an old Singer sewing machine by the corner. The cast iron construction had aged well. I cranked it, and found that it still worked. The date on it was 1923. Wow. A real antique. Except that I don’t need an old sewing machine in my house. And I continued to play around at the numerous ‘toys’ in the shop. I was sure that my wife had found something besides the table lamp by the sound of her excited voice.
After a long while, I felt that it was time to leave. The lamp that Connie found was beautiful. It had a carved wooden vase-like base, with cast iron vines twirling around it. The shades had faded and the tassels worn or missing, but in my wife’s quick mind, those could be replaced easily. It was the base that fascinated me. The lamp was heavy, as I had to carry it out to the car. I was all set to leave and get home to my game when I saw Connie talking to a lady, probably Hal’s wife.
‘She is a beautiful woman. You’re a very lucky man. I know how hard it is to find someone special. Believe you me, I know. So that’s why you’re lucky.’
Gods. That little man scared me the second time when he silent appeared beside me by the Jeep.
I could only nod my head. I was lucky, and I didn’t need anyone to tell me that. Well, Connie makes great meatballs. So too does her mother. Except for the fact that her mother throws the meatballs at me every chance she gets. She thinks I’m not good enough for her Connie.
‘Yes, I know. Thank you for the compliment and the lamp. Its real nice.’
‘You’re welcome. Yes, the lamp is a nice one. It came from Europe, you know. And it is very, very old. It still works, don’t worry about that.’
‘Thank you. I’m pretty sure that it still works when we bought it. You have many nice things,’ trying to sound diplomatic amongst the heaps and heaps of ‘stuff’.
‘Would you like some tea? I believe that my wife and your wife will be some time more.’
‘Yeah, sure. Tea is fine.’ I looked at her still deep in conversation. Sighing, I followed Hal back into the store.
Yeah, the title says it all, to the point. No BS. Which was why I liked it. I did not see any other cars parked outside. I guess the other guys had better sense than to give in to their wives. The store itself was an old building. The paint job on the wooden walls looked very faded. It was like the store and the stuff that it sells were meant for each other.
The little tingling bell got on my nerves from the get-go. Once inside, Connie oomphed and ahhhed at the things. We were supposed to be looking for a very nice table lamp for our bedroom. The old one broke beyond fixing. At least beyond my patience to fix it. We usually read in bed, and so a table lamp was necessary. Besides, I like to leave the light on to see what I’m doing while we were making love.
The inside was as usual, dark and musty smelling. I left my wife to her own perusing. I shuddered at the thought of doing Spring-cleaning in here. An army would get the job done, if given enough time.
‘Good afternoon. I’m Hal. How may I help you?’
The soft voice came from nowhere and I nearly jumped out of my shoes. An old man was addressing me. And the funny thing was that his eyes were full of mirth and life. Like great orbs shining in the dark. Quite disconcerting when he looked directly at me.
‘That’s OK. I’m just looking. It’s my wife who wants something. Thank you.’
He disappeared amongst the heaps of antique after nodding. This shop was like the multitudes that I’ve been in. There were treasures for sure, but enough time must be spent digging the treasures out from all the junk. I saw an old Singer sewing machine by the corner. The cast iron construction had aged well. I cranked it, and found that it still worked. The date on it was 1923. Wow. A real antique. Except that I don’t need an old sewing machine in my house. And I continued to play around at the numerous ‘toys’ in the shop. I was sure that my wife had found something besides the table lamp by the sound of her excited voice.
After a long while, I felt that it was time to leave. The lamp that Connie found was beautiful. It had a carved wooden vase-like base, with cast iron vines twirling around it. The shades had faded and the tassels worn or missing, but in my wife’s quick mind, those could be replaced easily. It was the base that fascinated me. The lamp was heavy, as I had to carry it out to the car. I was all set to leave and get home to my game when I saw Connie talking to a lady, probably Hal’s wife.
‘She is a beautiful woman. You’re a very lucky man. I know how hard it is to find someone special. Believe you me, I know. So that’s why you’re lucky.’
Gods. That little man scared me the second time when he silent appeared beside me by the Jeep.
I could only nod my head. I was lucky, and I didn’t need anyone to tell me that. Well, Connie makes great meatballs. So too does her mother. Except for the fact that her mother throws the meatballs at me every chance she gets. She thinks I’m not good enough for her Connie.
‘Yes, I know. Thank you for the compliment and the lamp. Its real nice.’
‘You’re welcome. Yes, the lamp is a nice one. It came from Europe, you know. And it is very, very old. It still works, don’t worry about that.’
‘Thank you. I’m pretty sure that it still works when we bought it. You have many nice things,’ trying to sound diplomatic amongst the heaps and heaps of ‘stuff’.
‘Would you like some tea? I believe that my wife and your wife will be some time more.’
‘Yeah, sure. Tea is fine.’ I looked at her still deep in conversation. Sighing, I followed Hal back into the store.
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