Co-ed sleepovers.... whattya think?

[KillerMuffin]

I'm not trying to see your daughter naked, honest, I just have to go to the bathroom

http://www.foxnews.com/national/121100/coed_sleepover_mand.sml

selected tex:

The coed slumber party is here. It's not common, but it's not unheard of, and it's becoming increasingly popular, some parents say. But it's dividing households and neighborhoods, and creating a debate over whether boy-girl sleepovers are appropriate for teens.

"I would side against coed sleepover parties," said Stephen Leff, a clinical psychologist at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. "It may be setting them up for situations that they're not ready for."

Some see the practice in much more perilous terms. Eric Chester, a national speaker on teen issues and founder of GenerationWhy.com, said that under no circumstances would he allow his four teenagers to spend the night at parties with the opposite sex. "Only bad can happen. What good can possibly happen?" Chester said.

Plenty, according to William Pollack, a clinical psychologist and author of Real Boys and Real Boys' Voices. "It's a way to have companionship and connection that's friendly, that's fun and that's supported by parents," Pollack said.

Many boys need safe outlets to bond with girls who are just friends, he said. "What I found from the boys' end was that boys were actually looking for a way to have friendly relationships with girls that weren't sexualized, but no one would believe it, including their parents," he said. "They're all seen as sexual predators and all hormones."

Coed get-togethers — chaperoned by trustworthy parents — can be just the venue, he said. "It's a new trend. It's a positive trend. It's one that recognizes, particularly for boys and also for girls, that you can be close to members of the opposite sex without being sexual," he said.



Thoughts? Opinions? No, this doesn't apply to us, we're old enough.

 

[Lil-Brandi]

...NOT!

LOL.. what a subject!

I don't agree that coed sleepovers are proper. I think that is definitely something that should be seperated. For one thing, probably the fore front, would be the sex issue. I as a young lady, still a teen (18), know that just the word sleep over, puts sexual thoughts in the minds of boys, it always has. And teenagers...tell me that they would be thinking of anything else. While we take this time to talk about shopping, clothes, movies, dates, etc., GUYS are usually always the main subject of such overnight events. Then comes the rumour factor afterwards. Whether anything sexual happened or not, you think for one minute, that the entire high school wouldn't hear a different story! They would hear all about literotica style orgy scenes!! LOL PLUS, my parents would have locked me up if I had even so much as thought about having guys over at my pajama parties!!

 

[Guest]

 

[Samuari]

I've raised 4 daughters all of which have had close male friends (non sexulaized) and they never found it nessary to have sleep overs to bond. I just don't believe that it is nessary, and in this over sexualized society is filled with dangers arising from expectations to live up to. Non sexual friends are important, but there are lots of safer ways to get them.

 

[Merelan]

Shucks, I thought it was an invitation to one. darn. Had my little shortie nightie and fluffy slippers all set.

 

[CreamyLady]

The best part of a sleepover is when the parents disappear and the dish starts; no honest communication can possibly happen with a parent in the room.

This sounds like wishful thinking. There comes a point in a woman's life when a sleepover with a guy might start out with pizza and snacks, but will end up with some solid lovemaking. I think it's better for that to wait until both are mature enough to handle it.

 

[Cheyenne]

I read an article on this same topic in yesterday's paper. I cut it out to send to a very good friend of mine with a 12 year old daughter. I like sending him stuff to scare the crap out of him. Does that tell you what I think about teenage co-ed sleepovers?

I remember "innocently" sharing a hotel room on Spring break when I was in college- 4 guys, 2 girls. We did it to save money since we were all good friends. It was difficult to stay at the just friends level being that close to each other. I discovered that you see people in a different light when they are literally sleeping next to you!

 

[Skibum]

When I was a teen it was "going camping". And it was a bad idea then, too.

 

[teresafannin]

I have chaperoned lock-ins for the youth group at church & they tend to be coed. We are lucky in that the youth room at our church has a wall that turns it into 2 rooms & that is where the kids slept, chaperoned by parents.Justin did spend the night on 2 occasions at a girl's house with lots of other kids. Both times was on New Year's & the parents were there all night, so I know it was safe. Because of the curfew laws here, I would rather have had him in a house with people I know & trust, than out running around. It would depend on the parents & kids involved, but overall, I don't think it is a good idea. There is a reason why I was always a chaperone, that is the best way to know what your kids are up to.

 

[Naked Hunny]

I used to attend coed sleepovers at friends houses and at church! Parents must remember that just because other kids are doing it doesnt mean that their kids are doing it!! I even had many male friends that my mother let spend the night here alone with me hell they even slept in my bed and nothing happened of course wait a minute i did get pregnant but it wasnt from any of those guys!!

 

[Rattlesnake1775]

When I was growing up, we had several coed sleep overs. I guess it started with the ones our church had, which where very closely supervised ( and where nobody actually ever sleept, anyways ), and then kinda grew into allnighters at somebodies house.

Now, this did not start until we where...I'd say about 13, and continued on from there to the point where you have parties where people are to drunk to go home.

I do not think there is a "right" or a "wrong" answer. Like alot of things, this issue simply depends on the child. My parents, and my friends parents, trusted us enough to allow to sleep in their living room, or whatever. Do you trust your child enough to do that ? Do you have a reason not to trust your child ?

I believe that my parents think they did a semi-decent job raising me and my sister. Granted, as the older brother alot of times I got to do things she didn't, because I was a boy, but my female friends parents did not have a problem when I would crash on their floor.

Some friends of mine where not allowed to have, or attend, coed sleepovers. Some of my friends I would not haven taken, or invited, to one. But again, that is a choice of the maturity, and inteligence, of the people you hang around.

 

[bulld]

Re: I'm not trying to see your daughter naked, honest, I just have to go to the bathroom

Thoughts? Opinions? No, this doesn't apply to us, we're old enough.

As long as it's you me and several other georgeous women I'm all for it. Love ya muff! You rock!

 

[Latina]

My husband's adopted daughter, now 18, filed for and was granted emancipation at 16. She has been working, rented an apartment for a while. She and her boyfriend (now 19) bought a car together. She went to school part-time to get her GED diploma, and is saving to attend junior college. Now they are renting a room from us, so it is like a year-long sleep-over. They talk about in 2 or 3 years they will likely get married. Does it bother us that they are likely having sex in the room they rent from us? A little, but we assume they were doing that when they rented an apartment together, and at least here we know where they are and know that they are safe. We can see they love each other very deeply. And they are aware that my husband and I had pre-marital sex and are very open about sex, so it would be hypocritical of us to try to stop them, plus it would probably only make them MORE determined.

But for teenagers who barely know each other, and aren't in a serious, committed relationship, and aren't as mature about life as these two are, NO, coed sleepovers are NOT a good idea. The word ORGY pops into mind. It would be hard for an adult to supervise and prevent hanky-panky. Someone could sneak off into another room, behind the house, or wherever and get into sex, no matter how carefully we tried to supervise the sleepover.

-- Latina