Cloudy Bait

[Misty_Morning]

Hmmmmmm.....

Seems our Tom-Tom Girl is somewhat absent. Maybe we can send up smoke signals to let her know we miss her.


NAAWWWWWW.



Got something better to rile the sqaws feathers and get her to make an apprearance.....some Injun jokes....




A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an elderly Native American man went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain."

The next day it rained. A week later, he again went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm."

The next day there was a hailstorm.

"This guy is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the man to predict the weather for the remainder of the shoot. However, after several successful predictions, the old man didn't show up for two weeks.

Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"

The old man shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "My radio is broken."







Who's next?





p.s.....you are deeply missed Tom-Tom Girl.

 

[TE999]

Here you go Misty.

A man is commissioned by a city to do a painting of Custers Last Stand.

When it's unveiled, it pictures Custer standing on a bluff, looking at hundreds of Native American couples having sex on the plain.

"Wait a minute," says the Mayor. "That's not Custers Last Stand."

"No," replies the artist. "It depicts his last words: 'Where'd all those fuckin' indians come from?'

Be back soon Cloud Warrior.

 

[MagicaPractica]

I was wondering this morning where she is. *sigh*

 

[Misty_Morning]

Here's another one......



A little Native American boy asked his father, the big chief of the tribe, "Papa, why is it that we always have long names, while the white men have shorter names - Bill, Tex or Sam, for example?"

His father replied ...

"Look, son, our names represent a symbol, a sign, or a poem for our culture. For example, your sister's name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake, because on the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon reflected in the lake.

Then there's your brother, Big White Horse of the Prairies, because he was born on a day that the big white horse who gallops over the prairies of the world appeared near our camp. It's very simple and easy to understand.

Do you have any other questions, Little Broken Condom Made in China?"

 

[ABSTRUSE]

She's with her Irish brother........Tom O'Hawk.

 

[Misty_Morning]

Just keep stirrin up the shit........


Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sasparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his arm.

The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'll give him one thousand dollars."

The two blonds looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head.

The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.

Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take a look at this." Dave replied, "Not now, I'm busy."

Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you should look at this."

Dave said, "Look, you can see I'm busy. There's a thousand dollars in my hand."

But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave, take a look at this."

So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians.

Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh . . . my . . . God . . . we're going to be millionaires!"




ok...maybe that was really a blonde joke.





I AM NOT A BLONDE! DAMMIT!

 

[damppanties]

INDIAN REZ HOROSCOPES:

CAPRICORN Dec 22-Jan 19:
You are always saving junk and dragging things around the yard. You are basically a pack rat. There has never been a tidy Capricorn on your Indian Reserve. You should quit stealing other people's garbage.

AQUARIUS Jan 20-Feb 18:
You haven't the foggiest idea who you are and you've stayed stupid for too long. You are a natural liar. On the other hand, you are compelled to the dinner table where, you make loud sucking noises, as you devour sixteen pork neckbones. Everyone thinks you Indian name should be 'Vacuum Neck'.

PISCES Feb 19-Mar 20:
You have no imagination and you always think the Department of Indian Affairs or Social Services are following you. You have influence over welfare administrators and friends think you're a weasel. You lack perseverance and are generally a chicken. Pisces people like to beat the ugly cats and sniff their nose a lot.

ARIES Mar 21- Apr 19:
You are an old stiff and this is reflected in everything you do. You are always whining over nothing and think everyone is out to rob you of something. You should take 11 sweats, one after another.

TAURUS Apr 20- May 20:
You like to work like hell and you are a genuine Jack of all trades. Most people think you are just getting in their way. you are stubborn and persistent. You are stubborn and persistent. You should get on welfare, immediately.

GEMINI May 20- June 21:
You are very intelligent on your feet but lose all credibility when sitting down. People like you because you know how to cash in food vouchers. This means you're a con artist. Geminis are notorious for their pimping.

CANCER June 22- July 22:
You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. Friends think you are a sponge and you are always misplacing your sweetgrass. That is why you will always drive a 'rez bomb' and have a fat mate.

LEO July 23-Aug 22:
You consider yourself a warrior, others think you're a macho egotistical creature of habit. Most Leos like to pick on little people. You have no ambition and will forever live in your mind. Leo people are scared to go to the sun dance and prefer to make love to their mirrors.

VIRGO Aug 23- Sep 22:
You like to have things in perfect order and will pick nits all day. Your sex life has become well known, due to you meticulous nature. Friends think you're an example of institutionalization and would make a model inmate at the local prison.

LIBRA Sep 23- Oct 23:
You have extreme difficulty with reality. This disorder began at the Rez school and will cause further serious mental shortcomings. Chances for employment are nil and you'll have to do bead work for the rest of your life. All Libra's light their sweetgrass from the wrong end.

SCORPIO Oct 24- Nov 21:
You are a shrewd and conniving Aboriginal. Your land claim cannot be settled because you also want them to throw in Africa and China. Your work ethics defy logic but this stems from the fact that you know everything. Most Scorpios develop Jean Chretien-type mouths.

SAGITTARIUS Nov 22- Dec 21:
You are extremely optimistic and have the tendency to rely on Indian Medicine. The majority of Sagittarians carry little bundles of leather and will do weird things suddenly. You should take 365 vision quests, 67 sweat ceremonies, 39 Sun Dances and a Valium.

 

[damppanties]

I AM NOT A BLONDE! DAMMIT!

. .

 

[Trombonus]

. .

*poke*

 

[damppanties]

*poke*

Ow!

*frowns, smacks Trom on his butt*

There.

 

[TE999]

Here's another one......



A little Native American boy asked his father, the big chief of the tribe, "Papa, why is it that we always have long names, while the white men have shorter names - Bill, Tex or Sam, for example?"

His father replied ...

"Look, son, our names represent a symbol, a sign, or a poem for our culture. For example, your sister's name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake, because on the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon reflected in the lake.

Then there's your brother, Big White Horse of the Prairies, because he was born on a day that the big white horse who gallops over the prairies of the world appeared near our camp. It's very simple and easy to understand.

Do you have any other questions, Little Broken Condom Made in China?"

The tag line I know is: "Why you ask ,Two Dogs Fucking?"

 

[Trombonus]

Ow!

*frowns, smacks Trom on his butt*

There.

Hee hee.

I also miss cloudy. I miss EVERYONE!!!!!

 

[feeeriek]

Say that again...
A white woman was driving down a lonely road through the Cherokee rez when she saw a Cherokee woman walking along the roadside. She pulled over and offered her a lift. The Cherokee woman nodded and got in the passenger side. They rode in silence for a few miles when the white woman noticed the Cherokee woman slipping glances to a bottle of whiskey on the seat beside them. Not wanting her to get the wrong idea, the white woman says, "Oh, I got that for my husband." The Cherokee woman nods, looks back to the road and quietly says, "Good Trade"

 

[FatDino]

An Osage lady had just bought a new car with her headright money. She sent her Choctaw boyfriend to the back of the car to check out her turn signals. "Are they working?" she asked.
The Choctaw guy responded "Yes... No... Yes...No...".

~~~

I miss you, Big Sis.

 

[TE999]

Yet another:

Back in the old west, an indian stood on the wooden sidewalk saying "chance" to every pretty girl that walked by.

Two cowpokes mosey over and one says, "Hey chief, I thought all you injuns said 'How'?"

Indian looks at him and says, "Me know how, want chance."

Where the heck is she anyway?

 

[MagicaPractica]

SCORPIO Oct 24- Nov 21:
You are a shrewd and conniving Aboriginal. Your land claim cannot be settled because you also want them to throw in Africa and China. Your work ethics defy logic but this stems from the fact that you know everything. Most Scorpios develop Jean Chretien-type mouths.

Wow! How did they know?

 

[Trombonus]

Wow! How did they know?

I've always said I knew everything and that I was always right. What more proof do you need?

 

[damppanties]

Wow! How did they know?

Indians know.

 

[Misty_Morning]

......and yet anothern for the redskinned woman who tickles the fancies of so many white breads....


The old Native American chief has won fame for his infallible memory. A
psychologist comes to test him to see whether the claims are true.

Astonished by his apparent total recall of everything that's ever happened
to him, the psychologist finally asks, "What did you have for breakfast on
the 17th September 1957?"

"Eggs," replies the big chief with only a moment's hesitation. Of course,
this statement is impossible to verify, but the psychologist is impressed
by his confidence.

The psychologist goes home and writes a long report, then moves on to
other things, but several years later he runs into the chief in the
street. "How!" he says, by way of greeting. The chief scratches his head a
moment, then replies, "Scrambled."









Hmmmmm....must reach deeper into the medicine bag.......

 

[glynndah]

.....

 

[3113]

I think we need different bait.....

http://jpg.uniforms.maleserver.com/cowboysparadise/files/sm_181.jpg

Oh, look, a handsome Indian Warrior has just ridden into our pow-wow searching for a fierce and brave Indian Maiden. It's too bad none of us are Indian Maidens. I don't suppose we have anyone around who is an Indian Warrior Maiden to keep him company, do we?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

A fresh turd works, too.

 

[damppanties]

A fresh turd works, too.

And there you are. So kind of you to present us with one. That's all you can do too.

On another note, maybe if Abs completed part 2 of the thumb story in which the ghost of cloudy keeps returning, maybe we'll get her to come back.

 

[glynndah]

.....

 

[Misty_Morning]

A fresh turd works, too.

Me thinks thou art a shithead.....

not an Indian joke but I do believe it is appropriate.