Cleaning Up? Really?

[Lifestyle66]

I asked my wife to review some of my stories.

One of her criticisms is that in my stories after I cum I refer to “grabbing a box of tissues and handing them to the woman to catch it as I pull out.”

In fact, this is reality. My wife hates the mess, and she insists on having tissues handy. She doesn’t like dripping onto bedding, blankets, towels, or the feel of having it run down her leg. But she thinks it's TMI (too much info) to include those details in my stories.

So, I thought this might be a good discussion topic: How much is too much realism in describing the messy part of sex, removing or extracting a condom, or cleanup afterwards? Do the details add or detract from a good story?

(The extracting a condom came from one of my stories where the guy was exceedingly small, and pulled out, leaving it in the woman.)

 

[LexxRuthless]

I usually hop out of bed and get a warm, wet washcloth for that purpose. My wife is multi-orgasmic and often comes twice while I am carefully cleaning all that messy cum out of her freshly-fucked pussy. She appreciates the tender gesture, but after 23 years of marriage she has come to expect it. She'd probably be offended if I merely tossed her a box of tissues.

My stories tend to contain a lot of anal sex, so I am careful to include some detail about the "necessary" cleaning that precedes the act in my stories. I've caught very little flack over it, and some commenters have pointed to that aspect of my stories as a positive thing. However, I don't go into so much detail that it grosses readers out. Well, not intentionally. I'm sure some of the critics of those details immediately went there in their minds and pictured graphic nastiness I had intentionally NOT included.

 

[NotWise]

I asked my wife to review some of my stories.

One of her criticisms is that in my stories after I cum I refer to “grabbing a box of tissues and handing them to the woman to catch it as I pull out.”

In fact, this is reality. My wife hates the mess, and she insists on having tissues handy. She doesn’t like dripping onto bedding, blankets, towels, or the feel of having it run down her leg. But she thinks it's TMI (too much info) to include those details in my stories.

So, I thought this might be a good discussion topic: How much is too much realism in describing the messy part of sex, removing or extracting a condom, or cleanup afterwards? Do the details add or detract from a good story?

(The extracting a condom came from one of my stories where the guy was exceedingly small, and pulled out, leaving it in the woman.)

Those are mostly details I'd downplay unless you could make them somehow either erotic or important to character-building. I've included them in stories by allusion, with a passing mention of tissues by the bed or a towel nearby, for instance.

 

[SimonDoom]

There's no correct answer to this question. I suspect most readers don't want cleanup details. They don't want logistics. They want to fantasize about sex without condoms and tissues and worries and mess, etc., etc. They want the cum to flow and mess up the bed and damn the consequences.

But for other readers, adding those things into the story probably adds to its authenticity, or gives it an air of fetishy fun.

To me, this is one of those "pick 'em" issues where you should definitely write for yourself. Write whatever turns you on.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

To be honest, when I must describe the messier or clean-up side of sex, the less glamorous stuff, I tend to treat it in a comical fashion. Suits my story style better.

One reader messaged me and said that apparently the women in my stories have a differing physiology from those in our universe, because their vaginas have super-absorbent walls that just soak up sperm like paper towels, there's never any leakage or messy rivulets trickling down the woman's thighs.

I couldn't refute that statement.

I should include it more, but it's always gonna have a humorous element to it.

"Jeanie stood still, trying not to shrink away from Karen's piercing glance. The slow 'plip! plip! plip!' sound of the cum droplets from her pussy hitting the floor echoed in her ears like a warhammer."

 

[Lifestyle66]

... or important to character-building. I've included them in stories by allusion, with a passing mention of tissues by the bed or a towel nearby, for instance.

Very good points. Thanks.

I could change to allow some setup or prep for the environment mentioning tissues or towels available instead of their actual use, so as to not disrupt the erotic flow of the scene. And as for the small dick guy, her pulling the condom out to place on a napkin is part of showing his character.

I think her aversion to mentioning condoms in any erotica came from her reading condom overload in the 'Fifty Shades of Grey' stories years ago. It seemed every scene started with "tearing open a condom packet".

 

[MrPixel]

I write the aftermath into most scenes. There's always, or almost always, a box of tissues handy. Or towels, for comic effect, when the fella is known for quantity.

I also write scenes where "semen is dripping down her thighs" to underscore the cuckoldry, especially when more than one guy has partaken.

 

[NotWise]

I think her aversion to mentioning condoms in any erotica came from her reading condom overload in the 'Fifty Shades of Grey' stories years ago. It seemed every scene started with "tearing open a condom packet".

My stories include condom use when it's consistent with the characters. It's usually a bare mention, but it's something that can be erotic in the right hands. No reader has ever complained.

 

[Lifestyle66]

My stories include condom use when it's consistent with the characters. It's usually a bare mention, but it's something that can be erotic in the right hands. No reader has ever complained.

I think my wife's criticism of my mention of condoms was due to her impatience. She didn't realize it was part of the story buildup to a tense moment later when the wife unilaterally decided to skip using them with a partner in the swinger scene. It was part of the conflict buildup between the husband and wife. In 'Fifty Shades of Grey', the repeated mention of condoms seemed to have no other purpose.

 

[NotWise]

I think my wife's criticism of my mention of condoms was due to her impatience. She didn't realize it was part of the story buildup to a tense moment later when the wife unilaterally decided to skip using them with a partner in the swinger scene. It was part of the conflict buildup between the husband and wife. In 'Fifty Shades of Grey', the repeated mention of condoms seemed to have no other purpose.

I know of authors who include condoms in every story as a social statement.

Here's a related question, but on the other side of the coin. Should a man shave his face before sex? Would you include it in a story?

 

[Lifestyle66]

I think I've had the love interest use his tongue to clean up the female main character in a few stories. I'm certain that grosses some people out, but I think it's a fun and intimate way to express an intense interest in more than getting off with someone.

I could see that being a potentially erotic addition if the guy is going down on her after the two of them do it.

But I recently critiqued a story where the guy was sharing his wife with another guy, then the husband went down to clean her out after the other guy was finished. To me, that showed a character flaw. If the husband had such desires to taste the other guy, then eliminate the go-between and own up to his own gay or Bi desires.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I know of authors who include condoms in every story as a social statement.

Here's a related question, but on the other side of the coin. Should a man shave his face before sex? Would you include it in a story?

LOL. In my experience, that depends on the beard growth. A one or two-day growth may be acceptable. My wife calls that the "George Clooney look" and says it's sexy. Three-day growth is too prickly

 

[NotWise]

LOL. In my experience, that depends on the beard growth. A one or two-day growth may be acceptable. My wife calls that the "George Clooney look" and says it's sexy. Three-day growth is too prickly

I was thinking more about the 5-o'clock shadow. My face is like sandpaper if there's a little stubble, and women can get whisker burn.

 

[Dingo_Triplesix]

I think it depends of the place in the story and thus the function.

During the build-up I frequently name some gross aspects, hindrances, problems, misunderstandings and the like, for authenticity sake. Not too much, granted. Readers commented this positively.

During the climax everything is just perfect and blissful and cloud nine.

Afterwards I found that noone has a problem with liquids dripping out, at least no reader has protested. I try to use this as an attribute of the intimacy gained through sex, that the couple (or whatever combination) has no problems to face the mess.

Personally I prefer the blissful state after sex and don´t want to bother about cleaning anything. If the sheets are stained, they get changed afterwards, period ;-)

 

[KeithD]

If it serves the plot, I'll include it. If not, I don't. I try not to be clinical. I don't find that arousing myself.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I was thinking more about the 5-o'clock shadow. My face is like sandpaper if there's a little stubble, and women can get whisker burn.

There is the whisker burn factor. But that may depend then on the timeline, and whether the guy has sex between the first and second day, when it's the sexier and less sandpaper-like stubble.

OMG, this gets soooo complicated writing the sex scene in my mind! And what about her period!!???

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I like detail on the whole, but it's got to add something. So a nervous or inexperienced guy might fumble the condom wrapper, turn it the right way round, jerk himself back to full hardness, etc. A woman might realise that next time, getting the cellophane off the condom box in advance would be a good idea, though she'd not done it partly so it didn't look too forward.

If the action is going faster, then I might say "in no time he's rubbered up and ploughing into me", or 'I was dressed and ready'.

I've had characters kick at the wet patch with a heel, or flip the duvet over. One muses (regarding anal) that for once the 'anal-retentive types who insist on douching before sex have a point, but normally there's hardly anything, so why bother.' and it's party a reason to eat lots of veg.

Stubble really depends on the length, location, bristliness vs softness - can go either way, really. A pleasant bit of friction vs rather painful.

I can see a guy going down on his wife to clean her up and making her 'his' again, enjoying hiow she tastes different but not necessarily wanting to get a full shot of come from the source, as it were. It could be plausible but if it didn't come across that way, that's poor writing.

Periods are strangely absent from erotica - given that orgasm is often a good pain reliever, and if a woman doesn't want PIV sex then that's cue for imagination, there's plot potential there. I have done a story where a woman wants to be fucked up the arse so lies and says her period started.

Someone might lift up their face after going down on a woman and look like a vampire. Or there might just be a mention of an old towel on the bed.

Whether a character runs for the bathroom or shower after sex, or falls asleep covered in spooge, or chucks a roll of paper towels at their partner, can show their personality - and someone who normally loves showers collapsing and falling asleep on sheets wet from sweat and another man's jizz - that must have been a good night!

 

[gordo12]

I think I've had the love interest use his tongue to clean up the female main character in a few stories. I'm certain that grosses some people out, but I think it's a fun and intimate way to express an intense interest in more than getting off with someone.

I'm one of the ones that see that as disgusting. I drop a story if it starts into that.

 

[XerXesXu]

A lot of guys seem to be fetishistic about the disposal of their semen. A couple of months ago I was out with my wife, outside the restaurant there were a couple of young girls soliciting foreigners. My wife went to shop and on the way back spoke with the girls. They were offering blow-jobs ‘200 pesos spit or swallow, 250 with facial.’ That’s the first time I’ve heard that, but I know a lot of guys like to pull out and cum on the girl, and many girls like to watch a guy cum. The fun seems to be in seeing the mess rather than cleaning up.

I always shaved my face in the shower, while the girl shaved her pussy (separate razors); a shave and soapy was a great prelude to the main event. If you had two girls, I found it quite arousing to have one girl lick my cum off the other, otherwise, the towels and the shower were there to be used.

 

[ChromeCollar]

I trend the other way and prefer a story without cleanup details. To me there's something wildly erotic about creampies and just holding that inside yourself. I could do without the clean up scenes. My two cents.

 

[lovecraft68]

I pretty much leave stuff like this out.
One time I did mention cleaning up I did it as a closing line of a story and in a joking way.

"Can you do something for me?"
"I'll do anything for you, what is it?"
"Can you get something to wipe the cum off my back?"

Otherwise I try to leave mundane reality out of the fun stuff.

But each their own, and some people like a touch of what really happens.

Funny story. When I was in my teens I would go into my foster parents bedroom to use the phone they had in there so I could have some privacy from the younger kids.

I noticed a few times there was a towel by the bed, and always wondered why. It was no where near the laundry basket.

Flash forward 10 years when I was with my first wife, and we used to keep a towel by the bed for....and one night it hit me and I was like "Oh...ewwwww!"

 

[jsmiam]

I almost always include small (often not even a full sentence) reference or two to how things really work. I feel like there's so much bad sex education in adult entertainment, perhaps there's some inexperienced person out there who might be thinking, "What? There's a wet spot??" (Or, "What, anal sex can be painful, and lubrication is required, and all women don't love it and crave it?" Or "What? All women don't shout 'Yes! YESSS!!!' when they orgasm?" I'm providing a service!

As a reader, (so this is my opinion), I know I take authors more seriously if they come across as a person who actually HAS had sex in real life, and little contextual clues are invaluable. Wash the sheets. Have a towel. Drink a glass of water if the sex was as hot as desribed.

So without abandoning the fantasy aspect that erotica tends to have, I always try to show the reader that I know all about secks. *

(* Yes, that was a joke.)

 

[JuanaSalsa]

The total lack of detail in romance novels is always what turned me off of them. What was the point of talking about sex at all if it's going to just be a passing mention of some things slipping around with barely a hint of what's really going where? If that's all you're going to say, then just stick with the emotional connection and leave the physical out of it, I think. Nothing wrong with that.

But if I'm writing sex, I enjoy describing all the ooey gooey details of sex and I enjoy reading these details too. Oozing, dripping, cum - I will describe it if it's there, and what they do about it. There is often licking, smearing, wiping, etc.

 

[gordo12]

The total lack of detail in romance novels is always what turned me off of them. What was the point of talking about sex at all if it's going to just be a passing mention of some things slipping around with barely a hint of what's really going where?

Unfortunately, the details take a book straight to the "18+ and good luck marketing your book" bin. There's a solid reason that gets left out.

On the other hand, I've noticed a lot of authors giving the 18+ rule the finger lately. Nobody really knows unless someone complains.

 

[JuanaSalsa]

Unfortunately, the details take a book straight to the "18+ and good luck marketing your book" bin. There's a solid reason that gets left out.

On the other hand, I've noticed a lot of authors giving the 18+ rule the finger lately. Nobody really knows unless someone complains.

Yes, but we don't have that restriction here on Lit, so why stick to it?

I have written two out of three 100k books in a sci-fi trilogy and I felt quite stifled by the feeling that I had to tone down the amount and explicitness of the sex in order to have a chance at publication. Before starting the third book, I came here to "get the sex out of my system." That doesn't seem to have worked, I've just found I really enjoy writing sex.