Chronic Tardiness

[rosco rathbone]

Funny, I have a "keys" thing, too.

I have all these rituals designed to prevent loss of keys, and when I lose them, I really become irrationally angry.

 

[Keroin]

Would you like a martini? It helps.

 

[Itigirl]

guilty as charged. chronic tardiness is probably the single offense i have been punished for most often throughout the years. there's no excuse for it really, with me the issue was just nerves. no matter how much prep time i am given, no matter how careful i am, when i know i have to be ready at a specific time i will become increasingly frantic and panicky as that hour draws near. slowing me down, which then causes me to be late. stern lectures didn't help break me of this, neither did firm spankings or lost privileges. what finally seemed to work was receiving the beating of life one morning as i was in the shower (was bathing when i should have been dressed and ready to go)...no words at all, before or after. just palms and fists coming at me through the waterfall.
so now, although i am still very nervous, very panicky, very jittery as i'm preparing myself to be ready at a specific time...the fear of God prevents me from being late.

WTF? Are you serious? Not to be rude....I just don't get that at all........

 

[midwestyankee]

I have been on both sides. CT (Chronically Tardy) into my mid twenties but always with a good reason or three. Then I began to zealously pursue a career with zero tolerance for unpunctuality, (if that's not a real word, it should be), and magically I was cured. It seems my "reasons" were really excuses masquerading as reasons. Who knew?

While at my dream job one day, a co-worker and I were discussing punctuality when she hit me with that phrase, "When you are late you are saying: I am more important than you". Like a sucker punch to the jaw, I realized in an instant what a selfish ass I'd been all those years. Since then, not only have I never been late, I have become - like you RR - anally punctual. I've also trained myself not to lose my car keys ten times per day; will miracles never cease?

So, yes, some people, such as BB, have reasons for being late but I'm of the opinion that most just have excuses, which boil down to a lack of respect for others. Assuming a PYL/pyl relationship is founded on, (among other ideals), respect from both top and bottom then shouldn't it logically follow that a pyl (except those with genuine reasons - lest I be tarred and feathered again), would strive to be on time?

As a deterrant for CT, perhaps some heavy time-keeping apparatus tied to the sensitive body bits of one's pyl? Or a barrage of time-sensitive tasks? Or withhold chocolate privileges? (Perhaps the last suggestion is a bit extreme).

(midwestyankee, I'm not so bad once you get to know me. I'm kind to puppies and I make a killer martini.)

Fuck puppies.

Martinis are good.

This is the post you should have put up this afternoon.

 

[Keroin]

Yes but then I wouldn't have gotten you all feisty. This is how I find friends - shake the cage until the feisty ones jump out. LOL.

Oh, look, it's martini o'clock. Best not be late!

Cheers

p.s. I think it's against the law to fuck puppies.

 

[im_a_voyeur]

I attribute my tardiness to CPT.

 

[graceanne]

It's the opposite with me and K. I'm pretty punctual (and when I'm late it's normally due to the kids, K, or things out of my control - like car problems). K, on the other hand, is a slow mover and quite routinely makes us late. Not to mention that there's nothing like me opening the door, with my keys in hand, to make him need to pee. Or remember that the car is full of his tools. Or realize he doesn't have his phone and can't remember where it is. Or, or, or.

It used to piss me off. When we first got married, he'd always blame us being late on me. I can get ready (dressed, makeup, everything) in fifteen minutes. I can get me and all three kids ready in the time it takes K to get himself ready. I finally started pointing this out, and he stopped blaming tardiness on me.

 

[Homburg]

It's hard for me to deal with someone operating on a completely different concept of time and of the responsibilities owed to one's employer.

This is one area that I have no problms being punctual. My employer signs the checks that allow me the funds to properly enjoy the important parts of my life. Punctuality there is assumed.

"When you are late you are saying: I am more important than you". Like a sucker punch to the jaw, I realized in an instant what a selfish ass I'd been all those years. Since then, not only have I never been late, I have become - like you RR - anally punctual. I've also trained myself not to lose my car keys ten times per day; will miracles never cease?

I also have a car-keys thing. The keys go one of three places, and only those three places. Amazingly, I don't lose my keys since instuting that rule. Well, it has happened once or twice, but, without fail, it was because someone else moved my keys. Aye, "wroth" is a good word to describe those incidents.

 

[Keroin]

"Wroth"? Nice. Permission to borrow?

Yes, I've conquered lateness, missing car keys and misplaced sunglasses. Once I master correct comma placement and the proper use of "effect" and "affect", I'll consider myself a goddess.

 

[midwestyankee]

"Wroth"? Nice. Permission to borrow?

Yes, I've conquered lateness, missing car keys and misplaced sunglasses. Once I master correct comma placement and the proper use of "effect" and "affect", I'll consider myself a goddess.

You may find the view from the back of the line is a tad limited. This site is populated by many, many lovely women who can use affect and effect properly in their sleep. Of course, I rather enjoy the rear view myself, but then I'm not in line to become a goddess at Lit either.

 

[Keroin]

You may find the view from the back of the line is a tad limited. This site is populated by many, many lovely women who can use affect and effect properly in their sleep. Of course, I rather enjoy the rear view myself, but then I'm not in line to become a goddess at Lit either.

A goddess in my own mind only. I would never presume to pull rank in this wonderful community. (I was kidding about the effect/affect but my, comma placement, is, atrocious).

Excuse my tongue-in-cheekiness.

 

[midwestyankee]

A goddess in my own mind only. I would never presume to pull rank in this wonderful community. (I was kidding about the effect/affect but my, comma placement, is, atrocious).

Excuse my tongue-in-cheekiness.

The effect of your strewn commas will not affect my view that you're an ok sort.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Would you like a martini? It helps.

I don't do "a" martini.[/wc fields voice]

I attribute my tardiness to CPT.

I'm dealing with Jamaican CPT here.

 

[Marquis]

While at my dream job one day, a co-worker and I were discussing punctuality when she hit me with that phrase, "When you are late you are saying: I am more important than you". Like a sucker punch to the jaw, I realized in an instant what a selfish ass I'd been all those years. Since then, not only have I never been late, I have become - like you RR - anally punctual. I've also trained myself not to lose my car keys ten times per day; will miracles never cease?

Would you go into more detail on how you accomplished this.

My sub generally has no idea where her keys, cell phone, driver's license or debit card is at any point in time.

 

[im_a_voyeur]

I'm dealing with Jamaican CPT here.

Oooooo... that's serious! I never can count on most of my Jamaican friends to be on time, lol. I'm not sure if this is something that can be changed but if you're able to get it through somehow, I will be impressed.

 

[Keroin]

Would you go into more detail on how you accomplished this.

My sub generally has no idea where her keys, cell phone, driver's license or debit card is at any point in time.

The bad news is the change happened internally, in the proverbial "blinding flash of light". I had no PYL, at that time, to train me. I didn't find comfort between the sleeves of Dr Phil. I had no external assistance. I'm just one of those annoying types who gives herself orders and follows them unflinchingly.

The good news is I can tell you some concrete steps I took to help with my transformation.

1. De-clutter - I was ruthless. Spartans probably had more knick knacks in their homes than I did once the cleanse was complete. And, really, did I need that ceramic rooster? I think not.

2. Designate spaces - I'd tried this before but it was much easier after de-cluttering. Keys go on the hooks. Sunglasses on the shelf above the hooks. Wallet on my night table. No deviations allowed.

3. Prioritize honestly - If I needed to be somewhere at a certain time, I had to forget all the other marginalia I wanted to do. Vacuuming behind the fridge would have to wait, no matter how critical it seemed ten minutes before I was supposed to leave the condo. I used to lie to myself - "Oh, I can easily make it downtown in thirty minutes" - that came to a grinding halt. And however much time I *honestly* calculated for travel, I always added an extra fifteen minute safety buffer.

Now my pendulum has swung too much the other way. (My CD's are organized alphabetically and chronologically and divided into genres). It's a work in progress, I suppose.

Does that help? Would you like a martini?

 

[Homburg]

"Wroth"? Nice. Permission to borrow?

But of course. Enjoy.

--

Would you go into more detail on how you accomplished this.

My sub generally has no idea where her keys, cell phone, driver's license or debit card is at any point in time.

I mentioned my technique. It is a matter of simplification and consistency. Put those items in the same spot/s every time, and keep those spots to a minimum. As I said, my keys will be in one of three places, and that would be in my pocket, in one particular corner of the dresser in my bedroom, or in one spot on my desk (home office, so I can do this). That's it. As a result, I do not lose my keys. My ID and debit card enjoy a similarly restricted number of places they will be, which is in my wallet, and the wallet only ever gets placed in the same three spots above. My glasses are treated the same way, living on my face, that spot on the dresser, and the sink counter in my bedroom when I'm showering.

In my case, consistency is the key.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

"Wroth"? Nice. Permission to borrow?

Yes, I've conquered lateness, missing car keys and misplaced sunglasses. Once I master correct comma placement and the proper use of "effect" and "affect", I'll consider myself a goddess.

Notwithstanding the later posts, I'll simply note that the comma (or other punctuation) goes before the quotation marks, e.g., "... the proper use of 'effect' and 'affect,' I'll ...."

As far as other uses of the comma: between items in a list, except before the item preceding "and" (though you can put it there without being "wrong," it's not necessary); and at any point where you would naturally pause when making the statement out loud. Follow those two rules, and you'll most often be correct.

 

[Keroin]

Strunk and White...and Sir Winston!

Seriously, thanks for the input. A close friend of mine is a professional editor, (German, very precise), and she tells me that the rules regarding comma usage are changing dramatically. Great. Now I'm more confused than ever.

Apparently, the period after abbreviations is also going the way of the dodo.For example: LA instead of L.A.

But such is the fast-paced, high adrenalin life of grammar and punctuation. Not for the faint-hearted. Sorry, getting off topic, aren't I?

 

[bethpage]

I love the thread. I've been lurking and decided to make my first post.

I'm one of the chronically late, usually just by a little, except when I'm early. My friends call it 'running on Beth time.'

I've started picking out patterns to the lateness, and the major reasons are that I got distracted doing something else, didn't plan properly or didn't want to do it/go there anyway.

Funny thing is that when I'm the 'responsible adult' in a situation, I'm almost always on time. Why is it easier to get out of the house on time with two toddlers than by myself? (I know, I know....)

I'm working really hard at not being passive aggressive (because I'm okay with being late, but I'm not okay with not being honest, and passive aggressive behavior is destructive because you are lying to yourself) and being on time more. I've used some of the tips people listed, which helped a lot--the second thing I do after I move into a new place is put up the key hooks.

I have noticed that when my being on time is important to someone I'm usually much closer if not early when I get together with them. But sometimes only an extreme reaction will get through.......(thinks of several other bad habits that it took irrational extreme reactions on someone else's part to fix.)

 

[ultramarineblue]

I go back and forth between being early or being late. Being late is not something I like to do yet I find myself compulsively choosing to do things that make me late. I'm sure there is passive aggression in there or maybe it's just an attempt to convince myself that I'm important after all. I don't know. The more I consider this concept the more I wonder if my being late is just a way for me to be self-defeating. I am more apt to be late when my mood is low than when it is better. The odd thing is that there are things that I am never late for and actually consider being on time being late.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Oooooo... that's serious! I never can count on most of my Jamaican friends to be on time, lol. I'm not sure if this is something that can be changed but if you're able to get it through somehow, I will be impressed.

I've noticed that Jamaicans have an attitude.

Yes they do.

 

[DomRick]

Excellent original question and I like the variety of responses. My current situation is a little different than most as I'm seeing a fairly new submissive and we're not in a commited relationship. We've had just a handful of dates and she's been either late or not waiting where she was supposed to on each occasion. The first time was cute, the ole "15 extra spanks for being 15 minutes last" thing. Of course, she liked the extra touches so that wasn't motivating. This last time, she was late, I left the house and began walking my dogs. She caught up with us when she finally arrived, claiming she took a wrong turn. Regardless, her next instruction will be if she is late, the date/meeting is cancelled. If that happens twice, I frankly don't have the time or inclination to continue to meet with her. At my age, I'm a bit jaded on puntuality and a certain amount of personal responsibility. Be well.

 

[Keroin]

I would treat a PYL no differently. Beat me, gag me, call me horrible names? Aces! But keep me waiting? Cancelled.*

*Unless the waiting is part of the play. Actually, for me, I can think of few tortures more extreme. Hm.