Christmas party at The Velvet Vulva

[shereads]

Through a series of random events and non-events (company's clients haven't paid so company can't pay us; can't travel home for the holidays without making mortgage payment; relationships ended; friends leaving town, etc.) my prospects for Christmas are rapidly going to hell in a handbasket.

I'm going to make one last effort to find volunteer work for that day, but as we all know, the soup kitchens are overflowing with good-deed-doers on Christmas Day and they get damned tired of hearing us beg for the chance to redeem ourselves once a year.

So - assuming I'll be alone with the pup on the 25th and that others among you might either be alone or wish you were (family gatherings being dysfunctional everywhere, I imagine), I propose that we meet here at the new Velvet Vulva Lounge and post some holiday cheer.

I'm hanging twinkly lights from my favorite retail website, cheesylights.com, and I'm donating a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream.

Bring a shot glass and join me on Christmas Day. The dog and I will toast your health, even if we get a gig at the local homeless shelter.

Regards, humbug, etc.,

shereads

P.S. Rhino or other artists out there - It would be lovely if one of you would design a logo for The Velvet Vulva.

 

[shereads]

An example of decor for the event, unless I get some help and design advice asap:

 

[shereads]

An additional decorating option (all are courtesy of cheesylights.com):

 

[Wills]

Shereads

I'm with you in spirit tho' Christmas day will find me incommunicado in a home without a computer in sight. I will sit by the pool trying to comprehend a discussion that will inevitably decline into the best city in Europe to buy womans undergarments spoken in at least 4 languages and wonder in amazement at the ability of women to multitask.

This will be a pleasure for me, the women, each in their fifties, are the most beautiful creatures, all Portugues by birth they have lived their adult lives in different countries, Portugal, Italy, UK and USA.

I will be the only male, the three sisters having lost husbands like others lose gloves, my wife, their cousin, having somehow not managed to shake me off.

In my post lunch 'brandial' haze I will sit and fantasise about the sisters and possible draw the storylines for my next novella. Give me some clues of what you would like me to include, the reader in you needs satisfaction.

Take care

Will's

 

[Black Tulip]

She,

I'll be there. Since my mother died the big family gatherings kind of died too.

And you know what, my 18-year old does not want to do a Merry Christmas.

Dunno about the decorations, maybe I can find some.

Bailey's hmmm? I'll bring a box of chocolates to go with that.

Oh, and some music: Whatever you like (courtesy of Quasimodem)

 

[Guest]

ella bella, I'll drop by and bring real Champagne, homemade tamales, and my flan which everyone says is the best they've ever had. Also a few of those English crackers so you can have a funny paper hat to wear on your head.

If there's a good beat I'll dance with you. If we tango I'd like to lead.

Love those cheesy lights, and you,

Fa la la la la, la la la la,

Perdita

 

[shereads]

I will be the only male, the three sisters having lost husbands like others lose gloves, my wife, their cousin, having somehow not managed to shake me off.

In my post lunch 'brandial' haze I will sit and fantasise about the sisters and possible draw the storylines for my next novella. Give me some clues of what you would like me to include, the reader in you needs satisfaction.

You do realize, of course, that in Biblical times you'd have been required by law to sleep with your wife's beautiful widowed sisters. By way of preserving family harmony...

(Yeah, I bet that worked. )

So there's a theme for your novella, darlin.' Set yourself up as the obliging stud to the widows.

Peace on earth!

 

[shereads]

If there's a good beat I'll dance with you. If we tango I'd like to lead.

If I dance, it means I've had too much to drink. You will definitely have to lead. And probably follow, also.

Until I moved to Miami, I thought flan was a disgustingly sugary pre-packaged item found in the refrigerated foods section. Then I tasted a homemade flan that a Cuban man at job #7 used to bring in every Christmas. He made it himself from an abuela's recipe, and it was smooth and velvety and addictive.

I've become a flan fan of the first order. Is yours of the "country" loaf variety, with a somewhat cake-like texture, or is it a creamy, velvety more formal flan?

Any cinnamon?

 

[shereads]

Black Tulip, we can use the little foil things from the chocolate as additional decor. We'll toss 'em around on the floor in a festive way that Martha Stewart wouldn't approve of.

 

[Guest]

Is yours of the "country" loaf variety, with a somewhat cake-like texture, or is it a creamy, velvety more formal flan?

ellita, my flan is something like a 'velvet vulva' in texture, and the texture is as much part of the satisfaction as the taste, which is creamy and not too sweet. I think I'd describe it like satin-velvet. Before baking my flan pan is coated in carmelized sugar (the most difficult part, too easy to burn the sugar) so there is also the delicious syrup dribbled on the flan servings. Pretty sexy dish I'd say.

My flan is not for anyone with a cholesterol problem , seriously. It's all egg yolks, evaporated milk and sugar. No cinnamon.

Perdita

 

[Black Tulip]

Perdita,

You have me positively drooling over my keyboard. Thank god this is a virtual party or I'd have all my kilo's right back on.

 

[Guest]

Ho ho ho, Tulip. As it's 'virtual' I say it's all you can eat and drink at this fiesta. All you can dance and fuck too (or 3 or 4 or...), but where are the men? I love Wills but I like variety too.

Boyz? Are you out there?

Perdita

 

[Guest]

 

[Black Tulip]

Rhino,

That is funny. Very nice.

 

[shereads]

Re: Re: Christmas party at The Velvet Vulva

hmm..
might also try a more "illustrative" logo too

That's magnificent. Just the right lounge-esque mood.

P.S. I like the slogan, too.

 

[McKenna]

.

 

[Guest]

Re: Count me in!

Perdita, yo tengo flan, por favor.

Mack, you said, "I have flan." Think you mean to say, "Yo quiero flan."

Not complaining 'bout Rhino and Wills, but given their penchants per posts, where are Gauche, Ogg, Quas, ffreak, Rumple, etc. etc.???

peeved, Perdita

 

[McKenna]

.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

Rhinhombre, don't fret it. We'll give you all the instructions you need.

Perdita

 

[Guest]

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I'll be there. Will bring some jamesons, some Glenfiddich and some Wild turkey Rye. Maybe a chocolate pie too. Happy Holidays

-Colly

 

[shereads]

Eyes widening, season perking up as the dessert buffet begins to shape up nicely for this party:

What kind of chocolate pie, Colleen? Specifics, please (type of crust, a brief description of the filling, etc.)

 

[Seattle Zack]

Well the bowl games suck on Christmas Day, so I'll be there. Half-rack of Red Hook, bottle of Jager, and one of those tins of almond roca. Maybe a pumpkin pie from Safeway.

Just me and the cats here anyway, and they won't wear the festive holiday antlers any more after that incident last year involving a candle and the toilet plunger. Nasty business.

 

[Black Tulip]

Good, looks like we are going to have a real party going.

McKenna, I could bring some Droste but the best are Belgian chocolates: dark brown, almost black, smooth as velvet while melting in your mouth and leaving you very happy.

I found some additions to the interior:

after all, if there are going to be guys as well