Christmas Day with the Piffles

[Tibxo]

Christmas Day is here again and outside the snow lay thickly upon the ground. Like any house in the land, the residents of 1023, Spitfire Drive are busy preparing themselves for the onslaught that is the visit of family relatives.

Well, one of them is at least...

 

[Tibxo]

George Piffle

"George! GEORGE! Are you down there?"

Hearing his wife's voice from upstairs causes George to almost fall off his chair. He had been watching an episode of The Brady Bunch to help steel himself for the rest of the day.

He is not looking forward to this Christmas, not at all. Actually, he never likes Christmas but this year he definitely doesn't. Last night, after a long day of going around the shops with his youngest daughter (he still got blisters on his feet to prove it), Gracie had told him that his sister and her brother (he has never gotten over the fact they got married) are coming over to grace them with their presence. He shudders as he remembers the last time.

"GEORGE!!?? You are not down in the cellar again??? I thought you were going to fix the lights before anyone comes?"

"Coming!" He shouts as he gets up and switches the old telly off.

He will have to see what Mike Brady does to deal with his current predicament some other time...

 

[DarkTalon]

Jon

Jon stood in his privet jet as they aproced the Airport " Why Dear do we have to vacation At your brothers House Its to Smale for my sister and the kids let alone you and i. Your brother needs to profide for theem better " He says as he stairs down his wifs Blouse

 

[Bengal52]

Stephen

I wake up seeing the familiarity of my room at home. I'm glad to be home from college. I can't wait to see how this day developes.

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Gracie

Chuckling to herself, Gracie hurried back into the living room and made a few finishing touches to the wrapping on her gift for George. She'd gotten the idea from a book she'd just finished reading: How to Entice and Drive Your Man Wild with Desire and Lust in Sex Easy Lessons by the world-renowned Scandinavian sex therapist, Godha Havamann. She'd added her own distinctly Gracie Piffle touch to the original, of course. After all, when it came to sex, loving and her George, Gracie Piffle knew how to please. Now, if only to get his attention.

Listening intently for the sound of her husband's approaching footsteps, she also listened to make sure none of the kids were up and about yet. This was something she wanted to do for George all by herself. Without an audience. Those days were long over at any rate.

"Gracie? Where are you?"

"In the living room, George. Hurry up, will you?" All a-twitter with excitement, Gracie waited for her husband to join her.

And suddenly there he was. Big as life. (Okay... just life -- forget the big part.) Gracie held her breath as her lover man peered suspiciously into the drapery darkened room. "Gracie? You there? I can't see a thing in here."

"Just flip the switch, George, dammit." Gracie sounded a little out of sorts, but she had been standing here a whole minute at least and was getting impatient.

George blinked and shielded his eyes as the entire living room was illuminated by a near-blinding display of brightly colored chasing lights. "Heyyyy... I thought you needed help with the... lights?"

"Merry Christmas!!"

What George had assumed at first glance to be the tree lighting up was actually -- Gracie. She'd woven strands of blinking lights all over her body and stood gloriously naked before her husband, whispering seductively "Merry Christmas, Big Boy. It's all for you, hot stuff. Come unwrap me."

 

[Enodia]

Enny

Enny

Enodia Jane Piffle looked up and frowned, hearing her mother yelling for her father. The noise vibrated through the house, and into her old bedroom.

"George! GEORGE! Are you down there?"

Enny knew her father was in his haven...his downstairs den. Likely watching the Brady Bunch, or Leave it to Beaver. He liked those old "family" shows. Television that led the world to believe that's what a family should be like.

"GEORGE!!?? You are not down in the cellar again??? I thought you were going to fix the lights before anyone comes?"

Her mother's voice was far more persistent this time. Enny rolled her eyes, and carefully marked the page of her dog-eared copy of "A Midsummer Night's Dream". She should really be studying for her midterms in February, but when she was at home with her family, a bit of escapism was needed.

"Coming!" Her father yelled back from his den.

Enodia sighed and stretched her legs, knowing what would be coming next. As the oldest, her responsibility was to help with everything. Standing and stretching, tugging at her jeans' waistband Why do they make jeans so low these days? She though, and tugging her sweater down And shirts so bloody high?, Enny opened the door and began to venture downstairs.

 

[Enodia]

Enny

Enny

Enodia walked down the carpeted stairs, recognizing the smells of Christmas. Her mom's Gingerbread had been baked, leaving the smells of allspice, cloves and ginger in the house, and the tree dispersed pine scent all the way up the stairs.

As she rounded the last corner of the steps, getting a view of the living room, Enny stopped, her mouth agape. There was her mother, naked, covered in Christmas lights. Her bewildered father stood before her, his expression mirroring her own, as her mother practically shouted "Merry Christmas!"

It was like a train wreck. Enodia couldn't look away. She stared in horror as her mother whispered seductively "Merry Christmas, Big Boy. It's all for you, hot stuff. Come unwrap me."

 

[DarkTalon]

Jon

Mary semend to be quiet on the plain ride. well the car he had rented pulled up tothe drive way of the piffel house hold They steeped out of the crr and the driver got the bags

jon Knpcled on th door sure they were erly but his sister would be glad to see theem he just didnt know what was going on in side

 

[landiek]

Mary Cole

"Because sweetheart, it's Christmas and I want to spend time with the children." Children the word rolled off her tongue as she sat dreaming of the day that her and Jon would become parents but it wasn't to be and now she was duty bound to make her Mommie feelings be sated by her brother's children. Even though they're adult she treats them like they're still little.

"You know you could always offer him a job in one of your companies and then you wouldn't feel that YOUR SISTER is in such a rut." Glancing at him as she fixes the sheer lavendar blouse, "Besides you promised that you would be nicer this year to my Georgie."

"Sit down and stop drinking so much.. you're becoming a louse from so many glasses of that liqour. Honestly, it's not going to kill you to take a few days off and be sober for the Children's sake!"

 

[LOST&FOUND]

Robby

There go those damm Piffles again I think to myself as I sit up in bed. Do they ever shut up, I mean come on it is Christmas. If any house needed a vist from the Christmas ghosts it was the one next door.
Well since I am up now I might as well make the most of the day as I slid out of bed. Walking over to my closet I pause to look at my nude body in the mirror. Man I think to myself this body looks to good to covered in clothes, if only the weather was better.
Reaching into the underware draw I pull out a pair of boxer-briefs and slip them on.
I walk over to my window and pull the curtains open, hopefully there is not to much snow on the ground. I may be in the mood for many things but shoveling snow is not one of them.

 

[Bengal52]

Stephen

As I lay there awake, just waiting for a while before I get out of bed. I hear lots of noice and voices outside the door. I wait for over an hour just laying there.

 

[Tibxo]

George

He has to do a double-take before he realises what his wife has done.

"For God's sake, Gracie. Stop skylarking around. You could accidentally electrocute yourself." He switches off the lights again, ignoring his stunned looking wife.

"And you shouldn't go around undressed like that. Remember what happened when Stephen caught you that time? And then there was that Robbie kid from next door the time before."

Going into the hall, he grabs his coat and heads for the front door, picking up the garden spade so he can clear the path of any fresh snow. He certainly doesn't want to be sued by any of their 'loving' relatives.

Opening the front door, he sees Jon and Mary standing there and his heart takes a nose-dive...

 

[DarkTalon]

"Marry Crist mass gerrled , how You Been" He asks as he just walks on in to the home He sees on of his neices Stund looking At the botume Of the stairs. He walked Fowwords 'Hay Whats.. Going on........" He Ask As He turned the Corner to See his Sister Un Rapping her self fromn the Lights. His Jaws Drops And Something els rises A littel. Not good.

 

[Enodia]

Enny

Enny felt sorry for her mother, standing there looking bewildered as her father bereted her.

"For God's sake, Gracie. Stop skylarking around. You could accidentally electrocute yourself."

Enodia stifled a giggle as her father unplugged the tree lights.

"And you shouldn't go around undressed like that. Remember what happened when Stephen caught you that time? And then there was that Robbie kid from next door the time before."

And now Enny. Enodia thought, almost chuckling to herself. Her mother has been caught naked many times, but none of them seemed to entice her husband any. She supposed that after 15 years of marriage, and four children, her father had lost interest. Enny felt sorry for her mom.

The doorbell rang, and her dad answered the door on the other side of the living room. It was Uncle Jon and Aunt Marie.

Ah, shit. Enny always disliked her aunt and uncle. Jon was an alcoholic wanna-be playboy, and her aunt spoiled her sisters and brothers to death with gifts and affection. This was the one instance that Enodia was glad she was practically invisible to everyone in the family.

Turning, she lightly ran back up the stairs and into her room, shutting the door quietly. She'd just let the adults figure out the naked scene themselves.

Sitting in her bay window's window seat, she picked up her copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream. Looking idly outside, she noticed big fluffy flakes falling on the fence and yard. Looks like a white Christmas, this year. Across the yard, she saw Robbie looking out his window, naked from the waist up.

Smiling, Enny waved. She remembered how during summer vacation he would sunbathe naked out in his backyard. Her sister's would spy on him, giggling at his naked form. Enodia would sneak a peak now and then, but she was too old for that stuff, and had too much to worry about with school. An interest in the opposite sex would have to wait until her diploma was handed to her.

 

[captainb]

Miles "Gunny" Piffle

"Ain't it up here around the corner?"

"I'm tellin' ya, there isn't any 1470 Hummer Lane," said the cabdriver in exasperation.

Gunny squinted at the old envelope, trying again to read the return address. It was nine years old and the ink had run and faded. The paper itself was flimsy, the fibers softened through countless foldings and a few washes, and tiny threads marked the ragged edges of the envelope. He looked up in frustration. George's house had to be around here somewhere. The neighborhood certainly looked familiar, as familiar as any of the countless cookie-cutter suburbs could. He slumped back in the seat, almost ready to give up and head for a soup kitchen, when he saw a limo pull away from the curb and pass them.

"Hold up, driver!" he said, peering at the house. He began to cackle in glee. "That's it, this is it! See that old Packard next to the garage? Georgie always planned to fix it up and sell it at an auction. Hee hee, he's been planning that since before he got married. Lemme out!"

He counted his change carefully, then in a truly magnanimous gesture, flipped the cabbie a single. "Merry Christmas, buddy!" he grinned.

"Whatever," said the driver as the cab pulled away. Gunny tossed his duffel bag over his shoulder and stood on the sidewalk, hands on hips and proud as could be. Family, he thought, and it almost brought a tear to his eye. He tipped a tin flask of brandy into his mouth, straightened up, and strode toward the front door.

 

[landiek]

Mary gave her brother an affectionate hug and then headed straight into the house. "Gracie, dear.. we're here!"

Glancing around the room and noticing the sparse amounts of gifts under the tree. "Well at least someone will make this Christmas better! I honestly don't know why George can't give the children a decent Christmas... we certainly had tons of great Christmases"

Turning and looking at Jon and frowning... "Can't you keep it in your pants, Jon.. my God what if the children were to see you drooling like that!" Walking closer to him and standing directly in front of him and getting miffed. "You could at least apologize Jon Cole!"

Turning around and catching a full shot of Gracie's holiday antics and turning around and grabbing Jon from the room. "What's the matter with you... you act as if you never seen a naked woman before..." Then a quick pop in the face as Mary turned bright red with anger.." One more stunt like that, Jon Cole and you'll be going without until next damned Christmas!"

 

[Bengal52]

Stephen

Hearing all the rucus, Stephen decides its time to get up. I guess the family's here.

He gets up and throws on a pair of blue jeans and a tight red t-shirt. He goes and joins the comotion in the living room only to be greeted by an all too-familiar seen.

You mean, she's still trying to get more from Dad? I thought they would be together almost constantly with most of us kids gone. How could he not want her? Most women look loads worse at her age.

"Morning everyone."

 

[LOST&FOUND]

Robby

The snow was quite thick outside. Looks like I will have to get out there and shovel the walk way after all. As I turned from the window I saw Enny in her room watching me. This is the first time I had seen her since she went away to college. Smiling I waved back thinking about how wild she is in bed. But that will have to wait I though to myself as I walked back over to my wardrobe. I better get some of that snow out of the way while I still have the time.
Stepping out into the morning air was quite a shock. Even dressed in multiple layers the cold stung at me. I really disliked the cold, I would much rather be sunning my self on a rock somewhere in some sunny place. But instead I was stuck here.
"Well," I thought to my self as I pushed the shovel into the packed snow "the sooner I start, the sooner I will be finished."

 

[sweetcharity]

Charity

Charity shuffled back to her room and tried desperately NOT to inhale the spices and aromas that announced the Christmas Day.

Below she could hear the sound of voices, the sound of people moving about.
Thank goodness no one had heard her headlong dash for the bathroom that morning.
Living at home over Christmas was gonna be tough.

Charity collapsed on her bed and closed her eyes.
All better now ... she told herself and was almost convinced.
All she felt now was light headed.
How was she going to get through today?
She had arrived amid the bustle that was Christmas Eve and had fortunately been able to avoid close scrutiny.
She would not let herself imagine what her family would say when they found out.
Certainly today was NOT the time for the news to out!

She sighed and curled up pulling the duvet over her.
She would hide for as long as she could.
If only today were all over and done with!

This time next year ..... !!!

She gave a soft moan and buried deeper.

 

[DarkTalon]

Jon's Wiff Slaped Him and Basicly belitteld him in front of them I quickly recoverd And shrugged it of " Hay Wheres my faverit neci Enny I Have Som First editions To give her . Tell of two cittys . Alice in wonder land. And On these I Stand By Countee Cullen" His Said loud Enough she Could hear him from up stairs. Than turnd to his Wif He did love her for some un godly reson. All though some where between becoming rich and his wiff he becam a lush . but he loved here " I M Sarry Babe Im just Sarry " he said For no reson Than He turnd to george " Hay Gerrald WHy Would you let your Wiff Walk Around the house like that whe your suposed to have company over Cant you do something right Boy"

 

[Tibxo]

George Piffle

George can feel one of his 'headaches' coming on as he inhales deeply. Sampling one of his brother-in-law's 'whiskey' breaths is not the best way to start Christmas.

"Can't you keep it in your pants, Jon...." His sister is saying.

Oh! Oh! They have found Gracie.

He pinches his nose as if to keep the pain in his head at bay. It doesn't work.

"Morning everyone." Says his son, Stephen, finally up.

Suddenly finding the house overcrowded, he steps out onto the drive. Looking over, he sees the Robbie kid in his front garden, looking up at the Piffles' house.

"What's he looking at?" George wonders suspiciously, realising where the boy is looking at and moves forward to investigate.

"Ohhh! I am stuck! Where's George??"

He stops as he hears his wife shout out.

"Stephen, honey! Can you help me get out of this? I seem to have got all tangled up."

"Okay, mom. Coming!" His son is saying back.

His mind returns to wondering what the next door neighbour is looking at when he sees a scruffy looking individual entering the drive.

"*Giggle!* No, Stephen! That is NOT a Christmas light! *Slap!*" His wife's voice is saying.

But George isn't listening, his attention now firmly on the man coming up to him.

What does he want?

Not feeling full of Christmas cheer at the moment, the last thing George wants is to do is give some deadbeat money. Even if it is Christmas Day.

Without saying a word, he quickly retreats back into the house and slams the door behind him...

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Gracie

Gracie giggled and wriggled as their son struggled to untangle her from the lights. A couple of slaps later, she was completely extricated albeit still a little disappointed by George's reaction -- or lack of -- but no matter. She had more ideas than Carters had little pills.

What to do? What to do? Gracie paused for a moment to give it a good think. Hmm... there had been that article Tantric Anal for Beginners by Ben Dover. Yes! That would do the trick for sure! Now where had she put it?

Waggling her fingers at the latest arrivals, she blew air kisses and headed upstairs to put something on and to formulate her next plan. It had gotten chilly with the door open, after all.

 

[LOST&FOUND]

As I shoveled my path I could feel a pir of eyes watching me. Thinking it was one of the Piffles' daughters I turned with a smile, much to my dissapointment it was Mr. Piffle himself. Trying my best to busy myself I did my best to avoid his gaze. Luckly for me we were interuppted by a newcomer. The guy made it all the way to the front door before having it slammed in his face.

"Listen buddy, you are better off just moving on. That family has far too much drama around the holidays. You think that was bad you should have seen them around Halloween. The costume Ms. Piffle answered the door in... Man she is hot for her age let me tell you. Anyway I will let you get on your way."

 

[jubileeslave]

I heard the voices from downstairs and jumped off the bed and started down the stairs. "AUNT MARY!!!!!"

I liked seeing Aunt Mary because she was easy to talk into stuff. Even though Uncle Jon seems to hate having his money spent.
I was hoping that this Christmas would be calmer and at least not so painful.

I saw Stephen and Mom in the other room and Uncle John trying to talk to Enny after putting Dad down again. I glared at my dear uncle and begin to regret that he was family.

 

[Bengal52]

Stephen

After dad left in a hurry, Mom called me over to help her with the lights. I tried to undo the darn knots but kept catching her nipples. After I got slapped a couple of times, I tried harder to miss them. I got to admit they felt hard for some odd reason tho. Why would she be horny at a time like this?

After she left, while still showing off, I went over and threw myself on the couch and grabed my biology text book. Too much homework.