Chris

[ChromeCollar]

My mind is tortured agony... letting him go was brutal.
The time had come to face the truth... the relationship was futile.
As I lay in bed, panting in the tangled sheets,
I pretend the hands cruising my body are his and not mine...
Rapture is so close as his phantom lips cruise my skin,
Drifting on a wave of pleasure I try not to let the fact sink in...
That we will never be together in a moment of love,
A night of pleasure, a period of undeniable hunger...
Silent tears course down my cheeks as I give in to my passion and drift under.

(Hello everyone, I am new to this section of the Lit boards. Just wanted to voice my words on a subject raw and new to me. I dont have much style when it comes to prose. Hope you dont mind the clumsy post. ;] )

 

[Jayashiangel]

Am glad you were able to write how you feel deep inside your mind.
But most of all just let it flow. Then re-words things or change the lines when ever you write.
Personal Poetry are just that personal so there is no right or wrong and certainly no judgement.

P.S. Your poem was very visual in details.. nice job.

 

[WickedEve]

My mind is tortured agony... letting him go was brutal.
The time had come to face the truth... the relationship was futile.
As I lay in bed, panting in the tangled sheets,
I pretend the hands cruising my body are his and not mine...
Rapture is so close as his phantom lips cruise my skin,
Drifting on a wave of pleasure I try not to let the fact sink in...
That we will never be together in a moment of love,
A night of pleasure, a period of undeniable hunger...
Silent tears course down my cheeks as I give in to my passion and drift under.

(Hello everyone, I am new to this section of the Lit boards. Just wanted to voice my words on a subject raw and new to me. I dont have much style when it comes to prose. Hope you dont mind the clumsy post. ;] )

HI
Sorry about your ended relationship. Many of us have been through it and it's painful.
As far as poetry, this is a good way to start. Write, then decide if you just needed to get those feelings out or if there's more to it. Do you want to write good poetry? If so, take a deep breath and hang around the board for awhile and see what it's all about.

 

[Miss Devious 21]

Chris....

This must be a "Chris" thing. I am also letting go of a guy named Chris and your words describe what I am feeling right now as well. This piece was a really great start, because you really let the reader know your most private thoughts and desires. I look forward to reading more.... Miss Devious

 

[Senna Jawa]

My mind is [...]

I dont have much style when it comes to prose. [...]

True. Try poetry one day.